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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Is CM + 1 day at nursery a bad idea?

16 replies

Eastie77 · 16/06/2014 15:42

Our 11 month old daughter is currently with a fabulous CM Mon-Thurs. The CM does not work on Fridays so the original plan was that DP would go down to 4 days a week and look after her on Fridays when I returned to work from mat leave. A week before I was due to return his manager told him he could not do this due to staffing issues.

Since returning to work I've been able to work from home on Fridays and ask my sister to pop round and entertain mini-Eastie while I work but this is not a long term solution. I cannot afford to go to 4 days as I would lose around £10k in salary and am the higher earner (I earn 2.5x DP's salary). I'm also in the process of going on interviews for a new job and don't think it would be a good look to tell a new employer that I only want to do 4 days.

So we've discussed placing her in a nursery on Fridays but I'm not really sure if this is the right thing to do. I've read that placing a child in a nursery setting for just one day is very unsettling for them as they never get the chance to get used to the setting due to the infrequency of their time there. Has anyone successfully used this kind of CM/nursery combination? I think it would be difficult to find another CM willing to do just one day a week (and our current CM has said that in her experience 2 CMs is not a good idea..)

Thanks,
Eastie

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lynniep · 16/06/2014 15:58

I think one day a week may be a bit confusing but honestly it depends on the child. At a year old a week is a long time and it may be unsettling for them.
Having said that, I did it with my youngest from about a 18 months old, as we really wanted him to go to a specific daycare but could only afford one day a week (so he did one day there and 2 and 3/4 at the other place) Once his funding kicked in we moved him to the expensive place for two days. He has done that ever since. He is a very extrovert little boy and always has been, so I never thought it would be an issue (I don't think my eldest would have coped with it)

Maybe use the nursery for two days a week instead so its not such a big gap?

MaryPoppinsBag · 16/06/2014 16:02

One of my mindees does exactly this as I have a Friday off. He has been absolutely fine.

Jinxxx · 16/06/2014 16:23

It is a difficult age for a typical child to settle anywhere new. If she were older and used to playgroups and so on, she might see a day at nursery more in that way. Every child is different, but I think you would need to at least be prepared for the possibility that it might not work. I also think another CM setting could have the same sort of issues.

I'd look at other possibilities in this position. Firstly, are the staffing issues at Dh's job permanent, or will working 4 days be possible in time? Could he do four long days and/or bring some work home? Could you compress your hours and/or have a day or half day working from home? Could you or dh change jobs? Could you get somebody else to look after dd at home one day a week (different face but at least in familiar surroundings)?

Good luck with whatever option you decide on. Also think about if or when you hope to have another child.

Karoleann · 16/06/2014 16:49

It depends on the child I think. DS2 did only one day at nursery and didn't settle at all, but DD was fine.

You may be better doing Mon-Wed with the childminder and Thurs-Fri at the nursery.

ElectricalBanana · 16/06/2014 17:16

I have a little lad who comes to me two days a week and to another childminder another day ( I don't work Mondays) - this worked out great because he already new this lady as she is my best friend and we do lots together.

I might have a little one starting with me soon who will do a couple of days with me and one day with a nursery - as long as we work together I think it will be fine

PhoebeMcPeePee · 16/06/2014 19:09

I also have a mindee Monday - Wednesday and he goes to another cm Thursday & Friday and I think it's a brilliant solution for all involved. Child get different activities & interaction with other children with other cm, we can cover each other's sickness/holidays where possible (always has been) & rather than taking days off we have the option of shopping so I can't think of a time mum has had to miss work due to lack of childcare. We agreed same fees, holiday etc so there was no top-ups or reduction if we covered each other's days etc nor any resentment that one is being paid more.

If you don't have another childminder I can see no reason why childminder & nursery couldn't work but I'd do 3 days cm & 2 nursery.

superram · 16/06/2014 19:17

I think it can work but I would do 3 and 2 days. My dd goes to nursery one day a week and it just isn't quite enough. 2 days in succession would be fine I think.

DearGirl · 16/06/2014 21:41

I used to run a 1-2 room at nursery and would suggest 2 sessions a week at nursery ie 2 days or at least 1 morning and then the Friday. I found those who came only 1 day a week often found it harder to settle / get into our routine.

starlight1234 · 16/06/2014 21:47

I am a childminder and would also suggest 3 and 2.

Dozer · 16/06/2014 22:02

If you really like the current CMand fear losing her if youonly use her 2 ddays I would find other childcare for Fridays. Some nannies might have Friday off and want more work, or another CM or nursery. And see how it goes. Your CM's opinions on your childcare for the fifth day are not really a factor!

Dozer · 16/06/2014 22:02

Sorry, 3 days.

Original poster

Eastie77 · 17/06/2014 11:14

Thanks for your replies! The more I think about it the less I think the 1 day at nursery will work, mini-Eastie is not a naturally gregarious child who settles easily in new surroundings. I think she will really struggle. So based on your comments I am going to look into

a) A nursery for 2 days + CM for 3 days. No guarantee I can find a nursery space, places at good ones are like gold dust in this corner of London. Also hope the CM is ok with this. I def. do not want to lose her so if she does not want to reduce her days to 3 I will try other options…
b) A nanny for Fridays only. Is childcare.co.uk the best place to look?
C) A less formal arrangement with someone who can look after her at home on Fridays. My sister and niece currently entertain her at home/take her to park etc while I WFH on Fridays but they drop by in the day when they can and neither can do it long term. I will look into finding someone who can do fixed hours. We found one lady but she is not registered and wanted cash in hand so I was wary. However she looked after a neighbour’s child without incident for 2 years so I might revisit this idea.

One option is for DP’s sister to look after her, she currently lives abroad in his home country. However she doesn’t speak much English and I think she’d struggle in London. At the age of 40 she has only left their home town a few times in her life and as far as I can establish has never had a job…

Jinxxx - DP is an engineer and does not have the option to work from home. He asked about doing 4 days a week several months before I returned to work and apparently his manager intimated that it would be fine. However he didn’t get anything in writing despite me asking him to do this a million times and he was refused just before I returned. He doesn’t want to change jobs, we've discussed it but he is in a comfort zone where he is and doesn’t want to move to anything more demanding that would compromise his ability to leave work early and pick up & spend time with mini-E in the evenings. I could ask about a compressed week but if I did additional hours Mon-Thurs I would never see her, as it is I leave the office at 6pm and she is more or less ready for bed by the time I get home. I am interviewing for new roles but the positions I am looking at are actually likely to be more demanding. I am looking to step up career wise + increase my salary so we can move to a bigger place when/if we have no.2

Dozer - The CM has 25 year’s experience so I have taken her comments on board as I feel like a novice mum! She said she has seen my proposed scenario a few times and it didn’t work very well, I think she is also basing her opinion on her assessment of mini-Eastie’s personality.

Thanks again,
E

OP posts:

starlight1234 · 17/06/2014 19:08

I personally would dismiss c...Unqualified, no first aid training, no inspection to see if anything is been done to bring the child on, not relative so need to do more than the basics.

A nursery would be far better

CityDweller · 19/06/2014 21:10

I have a similar challenge. DD (14mo) is w/ a fab CM 3 days a week (only days CM works). We will need 4 days from Sept, so I need to find an extra day's cover somehow. I don't want to drop days with the CM as she's great and I don't think she'd want a mindee for less than her full three days. I'm investigating nurseries, but like you they're hard to get in to around here and I think they tend not to offer 1-day-a-week anyway. So, I'm thinking of finding a nanny to cover that one day. It'll cost a lot more than a nursery, but I figure it's probably the least disruptive solution for DD.

Original poster

Eastie77 · 20/06/2014 07:53

The closest nursery to me with available spaces operates on a 2 day a week minimum basis. The daily fee is £104! I think I will look into the Nanny option too

OP posts:

SouthLakes1 · 20/06/2014 11:36

Our DD went to nursery from around 14 months. She did two mornings a week and we then increased her to a full day and a morning from around 18 months.

Initially she use to scream and cry when we left her, but the nursery staff assured us it was only a front. We hid a couple of times and sure enough when she thought we were gone she cheered up and started playing.

She's never been full time nursery and in her new setting she only does two mornings a week. We've seen her come on so much from having the interaction with other children and some independence from us.

I certainly don't believe its done her any harm at all doing just the odd day or morning.

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