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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Opinions please

22 replies

girrafey · 04/09/2006 14:09

Hi. my dd is 16 months and i care for a boy who is the same age 3 days a week. having worked as a nanny for years i am quite strict, nice manners, sharing the normal things. i am also into healthy eating ( for children anyway, my diet is another issue!!! lol) i give my mindee the same lunch as my dd. he eats well and his mum is happy with it all. however we go out regularly with a couple of other mums with boys the same age. ( post natal group) they give their children cookies, biscuits and fruit shoots. i have NO problem with these being given as a treat etc and it is their child. however my dd has allergies and is also VERY sugar sensitive. ( also diagnosed with epilepsy on friday) so she never has these things. being so young she doesnt know that she is missing them etc. my friends are great and dont let my dd drink from their childs beaker and wait till she has left table, being changed etc. im very lucky they are sooo considerate.

however went to a new mums and tots group today with mums. had been told there was juice and biscuits half way through so took water. staff blew whistle and sat everyone down in the middle, i realised and said no thanks and smiled at the lady. took both children over to the pushchair ( so they coudnt see into the circle) sat them down and gave them their drinks. staf comes over and says they have to sit in circle. i ask why as i dont want them too see and pointed to biscuit tin due to allergies. she said that they were getting special treatment and had to come. so feeling quite shocked i took them over and sat with friends. the bloody lady then offered my dd and mindee a biscuit, i pounced on it just before dd put it in mouth. cue of course hysterics. im raging and trying to calm dd down, so rush over to bag and give her some bread. she is happy. staff comes over and says that she can only eat food that they have provided as it is not a picnic area!!!!

im sooo bloody mad. i dont let them snack between breakfast and lunch anyway normally, let alone on juice and biscuits due to circumstances. i just bundled the kids up and left nearly in tears.

am i being over sensitive or was she abit out of order.

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Original poster

girrafey · 04/09/2006 14:10

ssooo sorry its so long. was very stressfull at the time, and felt like the horrible mother.

OP posts:

HenniPenni · 04/09/2006 14:13

No, you're not being over sensitive, she was bang out of order. I have similar issues regarding my DDs allergies and I know how hard it can be.

Uwila · 04/09/2006 14:42

Yep, she's bang out of order. Wouldn't go back there.

WishICouldGiveUpWork · 04/09/2006 14:44

Blimey-where was this group? I want to avoid it!

Tommy · 04/09/2006 15:05

I'm really surprised that a toddler group would be like this. At ours, loads of children bring their own snacks and drinks etc.

MrsBigD · 04/09/2006 15:06

amyjo22 you are not over reacting or over sensitive! That bloody woman should have some sense knocked into her.

Offering the biscuits especially after you'd explained... just plain out of order. I'd stay clear of that group and being the type I probably would write a big letter of complaint a la endangering your lo's life etc. But I'm pre pmt at the moment ...

Hope you have managed to calm down a bit and just forget about that silly group

cleaninglady · 04/09/2006 15:17

omg! thats totally out of order and wouldnt go back if i were you! i take my lo's water with me as they only provide juice and mine dont drink juice and its never been a problem - are they on your local childrens information services lists? if so I would be contacting the CIS and telling them about this but i am a bit ranty about things like this

smeeinit · 04/09/2006 15:46

bloddy hell thats ridiculous!
id be absolutly livid!
its a mum n toddler group not a bleeding p.o.w camp!

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 04/09/2006 16:26

I would ring the local paper just to see what they say about it .

looneytune · 04/09/2006 16:38

I can't believe that. I take baby rice cakes in for the little ones I take the groups (I'm a childminder) as there is no way I'm giving another persons baby a biscuit at that age. Forget the allergies (which are VERY important), she shouldn't have been like that FULL STOP!!!

I'm so on your behalf! Don't go back!!

You are NOT over sensitive

Greensleeves · 04/09/2006 16:41

God, how awful for you

I would have been incandescent. How did the stupid woman know your dd wasn't coeliac, or milk intolerant? How utterly irresponsible. I'd write a stinging letter who whoever is in charge of the whole charade if it was me.

Really appalling.

nzshar · 04/09/2006 16:42

OMG! this has really shocked me. Its a toddler group not bloody boot camp. You are there with the children and therefore are responsible and it is none of their buisness what you choose to give them (or not in this case) the children are only toddlers ffs. Sorry but this has made me so just another case of PCness gone mad!

nannynick · 04/09/2006 17:21

No you are not being over sensitive. I feel this is totally wrong of the group. Children are all individuals, and many these days will have food items that they can not have for whatever reason - diet, allergies, religion etc. Any group provision must realise this, and accomodate it as best as possible.

I help run a toddler group once a week and we wouldn't dream of doing anything quite so formal. Sometimes a group of children do decide to sit down for a drink at the same time, but generally they are able to have a drink whenever they need it... this is important, especially in hotter weather when they can become dehydrated if rushing around a lot and not taking liquids. At toddler group we offer a choice of biscuits and choice of drinks, and parents are also welcome to bring their own, be it in a beaker or directly from breast!

Judy1234 · 04/09/2006 17:58

That's so awful for you. I'm glad I never took mine out much to see other people and to groups. One boy my son knows has a very special diet and his mother always calls before a birthday party to ask what we're having and sends him with his own lunch box and we make sure he eats what he's given but he's a bit older and he accepts he has to eat his own diet and can see other children have theirs and not have it as he knows it makes him ill. I can't believe how many people give so many sweets, even a boy who was here last week came with a massive pack of haribou as if we'd like the children to have that stuff. Of course mine being older then do eat it.

ThePrisoner · 04/09/2006 20:50

I'd want to go back to this group just to explain, in a very calm and controlled manner (ie. menacing and threatening) exactly what havoc this woman could have caused!

I've never had a problem taking the childrens' own drinks (and sometimes snacks too - I've minded children with allergies, coeliac disease etc). Some of the groups have encouraged all the children to sit and have a snack at the same time, which I do like as it tends to ensure that food isn't shared around with other children who shouldn't be eating it - but it's certainly not a strict rule.

dmo · 04/09/2006 22:58

i take the childrens own cups to all our toddler groups as well as a rusk/bread stick for baby
dont be put off by this toddler group there will be better ones out there for you to take your children too

Angela2005 · 04/09/2006 23:42

Absolutely, lady at group totally out of order!

Original poster

girrafey · 05/09/2006 08:56

Thank you so much for your messages. i was already feeling bad at the place as the children obviously wanted to go in different directions and sometimes i had to choose who to follow. normally dd as mindee was happy playing with tools on floor with friends son and dd was off on the climbing stuff. lady comments that she prefers one child to one adult!!!!
there were 2 mums there with their nannies as the nannies felt out of place coping on their own with 2 kids as this lady made a comment!!!! one of them had been an nanny for 24 years and had 5 kids of her own!!!

have written a letter off complaint and will consider opening up one of my own!!! it is the only one in this town, so people dont have much choice.

thanks so much again. im glad it wasnt me.

OP posts:

shiningstar · 05/09/2006 09:59

if you need any help or ideas i am on the comittee of a local one and will try and help you out if you need anything. we are a mother based and non profit making group so i hope you succeed in starting one up. we have a great time!i cant believe the attitude of this lady, i sometimes turn up with 4 children to my one!they would never turn you away!

Angela2005 · 05/09/2006 22:58

Is she from the Chinese government?? One child?!!??? Barmy.

Go for it with your own group, a good one can be such a lifeline as you probably know.

alison222 · 06/09/2006 14:56

Just seen this. Like everyone else I am gobsmacked. Allergies are serious - potentially life threatening - DS has lots and yes I know it can be a problem. I also mind some children who are not allowed to have the juice so I take water when I go out. Its nover been an issue nor should it be.
I hope they take your letter of complaint seriously.
Do let us know what is said when you get a reply

3littlefrogs · 06/09/2006 15:45

I am fairly sure there are health and safety regulations that apply to nurseries, toddler groups etc, also there are rules regarding insurance for these groups that take into account risk assessment and children with special requirements including allergies.

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