Old nanny leaving, new nanny starting, timing headache

[Toospotty]

Our nanny resigned this week giving us two months' notice. It's her first nannying job and she's found it harder than expected - we are mutually agreed that it's right she moves on and relations are currently amicable. BUT the job obviously stresses her out. She has taken two sick days since giving notice and has admitted that she's not sure she can cope with two more months. She is however worried about money until she finds a new job.

A friend's nanny has offered to do half the days, which our nanny is happy with, although it means me changing my working days which isn't easy. I'm also sceptical that our nanny can manage even two days a week, especially now she's made up her mind to go. I am scared of a situation where we're on bad terms and she's not turning up.

We are actively (very) looking for a new nanny. Can we ask one to work in tandem with our old one while she works her notice? Or am I just being soft? It all feels more complicated than it probably is.

I should say that we want the new nanny to work all four days. The other nanny is a stop gap.

It's not unusual to have a bit of a crossover with the old nanny, however my preference would be to just get on with things once old nanny has left. All nannies have different ways and approaches, and all I generally need is a list of favourite activities and food.

Do you require two months notice in your contract? Do you think if you found a new nanny, and they worked together for the duration of her notice that she might leave early or slack off entirely?

She's still in her probation period so I think the contract states a month, but we'd actually be quite happy for her to go straightaway rather than her be stressed and be unreliable. She's the one who wants to keep working as she needs the money.

She might need the money, but you need a reliable nanny you know can do the job and that you entrust your child to. Let her work a month's notice as per the contract and then terminate her (hopefully you'll have found a new nanny by this point). Or, just let her know that you don't need two months notice, one will be sufficient as per the contract.

I've had this discussion more than a few times, and the general feeling is that we want to give lots of notice so as not to leave bosses in the lurch, however, there is a real risk of them finding a new nanny well before our agreed end date. The general advice we give each other is not to give more notice than is in your contract, except in exceptional circumstances when you know you won't be let go early!

Do what's best for your family.

In probation the notice period is often short, such as a week. Check the contract then decide if you really want the nanny to work it, or if youbwould pay it but not have then physically do the job. Once you have a replacement do you need them both to work?

Once we find a replacement we'd be quite happy for them to take over. It's just my feeling of obligation towards the first nanny, not wanting her to suffer too much financially. Which is probably misplaced.

And yes, a week's notice. Thanks for the tip off. I doubt she has noticed that bit either.

As soon as you have a nanny then transition. It's not your problem that old nanny may be out of pocket before she find a new job. It's what happens when you decide to leave without something lined up to go to.

No need to keep old nanny on for 2mths esp if notice period is 1:4 weeks as probation period

Tough shit she feels she can't cope financially if does less weeks - not your problem - she has let you down and needs to go asap

maybe look In to a temp nanny for a few weeks while you find a new one

Was she a nanny before? Have good refs?

She'd worked in a nursery and is very good with the kids. It's just the realities of nannying that have ambushed her a bit. She's looking to go back to nursery work.

I've just had a chat with one possible and she sounded great. I'm feeling fairly encouraged that we'll find someone fairly quickly and be able to move forward.

Being a nanny is very different from working in a nursery

Think the solitary bit hits them and the fact all the responsibility is down to them rather then shared like nursery

Tough shit she feels she can't cope financially if does less weeks - not your problem - she has let you down and needs to go asap

Brilliant, and absolutely right.

:)

As I have the experts on here, do parents usually interview without the kids at first and move on to a second interview meeting the children? Sorry if that's a stupid question.

Not stupid, was wondering about what I prefer at interview the other day actually. I'd prefer first interview without kids. They are a distraction and stop me discussing nitty gritty stuff, and I will of course make a fuss of them, but might decide I don't want the job after first interview or parents decide I'm not right. Probably not worth introducing children to lots of different people unnecessarily.

Second in-person interview is when I'd have kids around. At some point you need to see what nanny is like around kids!

Varies. I have done both. Usually meet parents in eve and if both like thb meet kids 2nd time - saves kids seeing lots of nannies and being confused

Have had several 1st interview where kids been there as daytime - nice to see their behaviour and what parents allow to get away with

One friend took a job on without meeting kids I would NEVER do that !!!!!

Tho tbh if the parents are nice and supportive and the children are little shits a tad ott then I would still accept the job

Have always said you can train the children but not the parents .,,,,,

I hadn't thought that the kids might put the nannies off! Hopefully the massive cuteness of the two little boys will offset my shy and slightly stroppy toddler.

Kids don't put us off - it's the parents behaviour :)

As I said nice to see the kids behaviour and the adults way of dealing with it

Oh good. We are perfect parents so no worries there!

(And I do live in a hotspot for 'don't DO that, darling. You'll scuff your loafer kicking that child' parenting.)

Ha ha

I prefer first without then with, from a parent and nanny perspective. I took a job without meeting the children too. Horrible.

Well, our dilemma is resolved by our current nanny calling us this morning to say she won't be coming back. Simpler anyway. We really are lovely employers, honest.

Jeez, she could at least work out a weeks notice. I'm guessing that she's found temping in a nursery or something.

RE interview, I prefer meeting parents first, like Louise said, the nitty gritty bits are difficult to discuss when you have kids around chatting to you! I remember one interview (for a job I got and stayed in for two years) where the 11mo was playing with my drink of water, hands properly in, it was very adorable and she was gorgeous (still is!) but it was a tad distracting

I assume something more tempting was offered. We have interviews with new people lined up for the end of this week but in the meantime I'm frantically calling agencies to see if we can afford an emergency nanny.

And our interviews were meant to be child free, but I'm not sure that'll be possible now! Hopefully we can work something out with one parent keeping them in a separate room.

I know it's early in the morning but you need it. Terribly unprofessional of her.

If you can't do 2 interviews then have a long phone call (and apologise for the grilling nicely) to see whether they are worth meeting.