CM Club - How would you have handled this?

[Jensmum]

I was walking to the shop before with my dd and 2 mindees, they were really well behaved walking nicely when 2 women walked past 1 of them looked at my bump, then at the kids and back at me and said "I think it's time you stopped" I was so shocked I just said come on kids and stormed of (poor kids had to run to keep up) she then turned to her friend and said "young mothers they only do it for a house"

I was nearly in tears I wish I would of said something but I was too shocked.

I know I look young for my age (I'm 25 but look about 20 - still get ID'd in clubs) but I hate the way they just assumed the way my life was.

If it happened to you would you have said something or did I do the right thing by keeping quiet?

Sorry I realy needed to rant

dont balme you for ranting, maybe she was jelous she never had kids or something?

i would have said im a childminder not that its any of your business but i wont have you assuming i dont know about contraception, unlike back in your day when they had 8 kids or more!!

i know what you mean about the age thing as well im 25 this year and no-one believes me!! (thats a good thing though isnt )

Hi there,
I believe you did the right thing. You know your situation, don't let comments like that upset you. I am exactly like you and wish I would have said something at the time and because I didn't I stew on it for hours, wasting enjoyable valuable time with the children. It is not worth it, let them think what they want to think. You KNOW better!!
I despise people like them!!

It is horrible and upsetting.
I am your age and have 2 dd's. I get looks with just my two who are lovely, sweet and polite little girls. I also look really young but we'll be laughing when we're forty and only look thirty eh? (Please let them happen !)

I'm still working on not getting upset by stupid comments and try to feel smug instead. People that make comments like that are nasty and judgemental and surely can't be happy deep inside.
x

Feel for you I really do.

I'm 23, happily married with a newborn dd and a two year old ds. I'm also a CM, generally have three schoolies with me, or up until recently 3yo twins and a bump! People always assume they're all mine (I suppose there aren't a huge amount of young CMs still) and I've never had comments but definate looks.

I wouldn't have said anything tbh (esp with mindees around) people are just ignorant.

And for what it's worth, dh and I both work, I'm not even taking maternity leave, and we privately rent which costs a bomb. So definately not benefits scroungers!

What did you have luna?

Hiya Lunavix - JellyJelly is here and just realised she used my ID when typed this

I know how you feel; had assumptions made about me when I went into a supermarket with 2 mindies of differing skin tones. I didn't respond, just carried on packing my shopping. Although I'd love to be able to think on my feet & come back with a witty response I think that can sometimes lead to a bigger scene & it doesn't matter what they think anyway.

BTW have you seen the t-shirts on Ebay with the slogan "They're not all mine, I'm a childminder!"

Thank you for all your replies, I feel alot better about it now. I just keep thinking I'm better than them because even if I thought something like that (and I have done with a few of my friends) I would never ever say anything - I must have been brought up better than them.

BTW I don't recieve any benefit apart from child benefit and I bought my house 5 yrs. That's another thing people just assume that I must be getting an easy ride and money thrown at me.

Lunavix - Did you just take a week off then as holidays or a bit longer?

I can sympathise, if I had £1 for every time some well-meaning old dear said "You've got your hands full" I'd be rich! I keep meaning to say "no, I'm just an excellent juggler" but never remember at the right time.
And I only have to deal with well-meaning ones - I'd probably be nastily polite to anyone who made insulting assumptions.

Sorry if the middle bit of that message sounds a bit harsh I didn't mean it to I've just re-read and thought it sounded a bit bitchy.

ayla - That happens to a childminder I know quite alot her and her daughter are quite dark but her son is alot lighter, she then has 3 mindees 1 is fair and ginger, 1 blonde hair and blue eyes and the other has the same coouring as her son. She gets loads of odd stares but she just shouts they're not all mine!! which is something I just couldn't do.

The Tshirts sound like a good idea

If people say something along the lines of, "haven't you got a lot of children!" I tell them, "yes, and all by different fathers." That stops a few conversations (but is done in a very friendly way - you never know, these people might need a childminder!!)

I hasten to add that I've never had anyone be really rude, except when I've had children of different races. I then tell them nicely that I'm a childminder and hope that it gives them food for thought, and hope that perhaps they won't pre-judge people in the future.

I agree with 'the prisoner'
As a nanny (childminder to be!) to an 11yr old, a 5yr old and also Mum to my 1yr old, when people comment, which is often quietly to their friend, i pipe up, '...and ive left my other three at home!' That usually sorts it!

With DH being Jamaican & me being white

DD is nearly 9 (& bv mixed race) then we are accompanied by several very blonde/bonde/red headed children

We get very interesting looks at the till at Tescos

DD is the spit of me.....so they "know" she is mine & DH's and you can see them trying to work out the others

Jensmum you did right thing no point getting into an argument with rude people, riise above it

jensmum - I took two weeks holiday and one week unpaid (I was only going to take the two weeks but she was late) I'm applying for MA for the one week but doubt I'll get it!

jelly - Had a little girl on the 24th. She's so lovely

i've had 8 boys all summer aged between 5 and 10 bet i've had a few looks my way
might look into the t-shirt for next summer
also drive the school 16 seater minibus around so deff get odd looks
just ironore silly people and let them think what they like