First au pair - references?

[librarygoddess1]

Hi

Sorry to post this again. I added it first to a general thread on recruiting au pairs on-line. I hope it isn't a daft question, but I am a bit green on this subject, having tried virtually every other kind of childcare, except live-in.

I was wondering what sort of references I should be asking for from potential Spanish au pairs, who contact me through Au pair World? Most of them are teachers or other graduates. Many of them just disappear when I ask, or sound very confused about what this means.

One - who I like already and will be Skyping on Sunday - is providing a letter from the hotel where she babysits and has already sent the name and phone number of a UK couple whose son she babysits for when they are at their holiday home in Spain. She is the exception.

What would you consider a 'good' reference, if they haven't much childcare experience? Do you always, always take references, or just go on their interview?

Thanks in advance!

Hi library goddess,
It is extremely important to have references into the girls employment history and to follow up on them because many girls lie to get brought over and they don't want to au pair for 6 months - they want a free base from where to find themselves a job.
Be very, very careful.
French, Dutch and German girls are the least risky and usually speak wonderful English which is important to communicate your exact needs.

I just hired our first 'stranger' AP (rather than friend of friend). We took email references from past employers - both said he was great with kids, neither could comment on the other aspects of being an AP. We took the risk, so far so good...
It is hard imo. Getting references can't guard against Anerak's point. For me, that's more about impression and instinct, but of course any AP can leave if they want.

I haven't found references any help to be honest and generally don't bother anymore. It helps that my DC are older - 10 and 12 - but really I go with my instinct and am hyper-vigalent for the first few weeks.

Quite a range of views then - I like that! Thank you for your replies :)

Hi again. Just updating this with my experience so far - for what it's worth.

Most of the applications we're receiving are from qualified Spanish primary school teachers, who can't obtain a first post because their English is only 'B1' (their expression).

When I ask for references, I invariably receive a long list of all their teaching placements - duration, age of students, their level of responsibility - as if this is sufficient. They will then make noises about complying with the request, but the vibe I am getting is that they think: I have taught a class of 24 children, so what you're asking me to do will be simple.

Now, I'm a teacher - of secondary age children - and I don't consider that a recommendation of my skills in childcare. Am I barking up the wrong tree with this particular pool of applicants? There are so many, it's going to be hard not to end up with a qualified teacher. But I actually think childcare requires a totally different set of skills from teaching. I want someone who will play with my daughter, not direct and supervise her; she's just turned seven.

Originally, I had hoped to take a more 'traditional' au pair - 19 and on a gap year - but was put off by the cost if insuring them to drive. We live 20 minutes walk (on little legs) from the bus stop (newish housing development), and I didn't think that would appeal to many au pairs, nor to DD, if it were raining and cold!

Does anyone else have experience of this influx of Spanish graduates? I know it is impossible to generalise, but do 'they' make good au pairs?

And PS am I overthinking this?

Bumping for you as I am likely to look for an au-pair starting from September and so far the most "appealing" ones, purely by looking at their profiles, are primary school teachers (males) from Spain. But I have no experience and may be wrong!

Hi Jacket - tuna? May I call you tuna? I was really put off by the teachers, and actually by a lot of the Spanish grads in general. They just smell desperate, and I'm thinking desperate doesn't equal 'caring, and loves children.'

I would love to post some of the replies I had to reference requests - when they actually reply at all, rather than just sacking me off as soon as I asked the question, but I mustn't. Suffice to say, the subtext went:

'References? But did you not see that I am primary school teacher? I have done all of these teaching placements, and yet you expect me to provide a reference before you will permit me to mind ONE little seven year old? How very dare you!'

I'm a teacher, with quite a few years' experience, but I don't think that qualifies me to provide childcare for other people's kids.

It's about keeping your child sage- anyone with experience working with children should be familiar with referencing.

It's about keeping your child sage- anyone with experience working with children should be familiar with referencing.

It's about keeping your child safe- anyone with experience working with children should be familiar with referencing.

We've had a fabulous Spanish graduate this year, and have just started looking again. I'm not put off at all by the number of Spanish teachers looking for work (I'm also a teacher) - I think the situation in Spain is desperate for them at the moment and I that au pairing for a while is a completely legitimate alternative for them.

Hi - having had lots of AP's (I think I'm on number 11 now!) I used to insist on childcare related refs but now tend not to bother. We only employ from the EU ( so cheap to buy ticket home if AuPair is not good fit ) and my children are now older 8 and 11. I do however insist on taking a ref if they claim to have been an au pair before.

Re Spanish teachers, I have one at the moment and whilst she is a nice girl and the children like her, i suspect she would rather do housework than play with the kids. So I agree being a teacher does not indicate a degree of interest in children I had anticipated. As a result I abandoned that as an 'in their favour metric' and my next au pair starting end of June is a Spanish lawyer but who has been a UK Au Pair before with good refs

Thanks for all of your thoughts - and experiences. The Spanish girl (with references) that we chose has accepted :) So now I need to draw up a contract. I will have a browse through the forums about that.

Ha! I'm just doing exactly the same thing and also through Au Pair World. I've been quite shocked at how many responses I've had to my profile posting (almost 300) and how many of them were older Spanish male teachers. I've had to cut them down somehow and eventually I've selected on firstly whether they even mention children in their profile/have pictures of them with children, duration (lots of people just want 1-3 months at the mo as it's summer coming up and I'd like at least 6 months), age - over 25 as cheaper to put on car and then by EU - no visa problems and easier to fly home in case of problems etc. But it's all a bit scary...

many - our car insurance has been lower this time with an Italian woman, who is 23 with Admiral than our previous english nanny with another company.
My criteria are independent, looked after 3 years olds before, I always ask for reference letter, our current au pair gave me one from her priest (as she was working for her father at the time).New au pair works in a restaurant during her studies and has supplied ref from that.

Quick update on this: we ended up chosing a 29yo man with plenty of driving experience and it's only costing about £80pa to insure him on our 4yo Smax with Direct Line. Much better than I thought it would be.

Hi Manyhatson

We also found Direct Line the cheapest to add the au pair to my insurance. That said, it still doubled it to £540, but both the au pair and I have only been driving for four years, and she is 22. Even using the comparison engines, the cheapest quote I could get was nearly £700. Ouch!

I've booked her five hours of lessons over two days, for as soon as she gets here. I wrote it into her invite that if she is deemed unsafe, she will be going home. Not looking forward to that possibility!

Kate

Hello! Just wanted to say that I also received hundreds of applications from Spanish graduates. I interviewed just a few that were already in the UK and went with the only one that could provide references from a family in the UK as I did not have time and I felt it was very overwhelming choosing one. We have been extremely lucky with our Spanish au pair, she is wonderful! Helpful, discreet, considerate, polite, responsible and punctual and is very, very caring with my children - so much that very soon we raised her pocket money as we were so happy with her! Both my PILs and my mother have commented on how good she is when they have visited and saw her interacting with the children without me being present. Just wanted to share this as you may also have a very good experience as well. By the way, my au pair came to the UK for the same reason, could not find a job in Spain and needed to learn English to improve her career prospects. Good luck!

Another update: our au pair started a week ago and he's brilliant. Currently he's cleaning out the pond and weeding the garden before he takes the kids on a picnic and an afternoon cycle. All while I'm surfing on mumsnet working.