settling with childminder success stories please...also posted in behaviour and development

[nervy555]

That's it really. My 10mo ds is struggling. He spends hours hysterically screaming. I'm back at work soo so he has to settle.

Really hoping some of you can share stories of similar struggles that worked themselves out- or share what you did to help. I'm very happy with the cm and ds definitely likes her- he also does get left with his dad and gparents regularly.

TIA

Hard for everyone

Counterintuitive but if the CM could carry him HEAPS that will help with bonding and settling imo. Rather than rocking in buggy/ shushing in cot, strap him on ( kari me, or maybe a mei-tie) and the closeness will help immensely

Hey I'm a CM- it's tough and for whatever reason some children can take longer to settle with some people. As long as you are happy with the care your child is receiving, try to trust that it will get better!
Depending on ages of CM other children, she may not be able to carry around your little one all the time- nor would I personally advise this. I would suggest quiet activities in the home, such as story time, and sensory play.
One day it will just click and all will be fine- in my 10yrs of childcare I have never had a child that didn't settle, some took an hour- some took one month, some took 8weeks, but then one day the crying stops and it's all forgotten!
It's garden but keep with it if your happy otherwise! CM definitely sounds better for your DS that a loud busy nursery!

Meant to say it's hard, not its garden!?

Thank you!

I've childminded a few who started at around this age and it can be hard. Things that I found helped were;

Music and tv programmes which were familiar from home.

Cot bedding taken home to be washed so it smells familiar or child's own bedding comes with them.

Making sure food and drinks are familiar.

A top worn by the most involved parent for at least a day or slept with to put between me and the baby for the familiarity of touch and smell.

Sitting with the baby facing away from me but still cuddled close brings a reassuring touch without the challenge of the unfamiliar face.

Learning the songs and games the baby plays on parents laps exactly how they do them.

Trips out in the car and the pushchair because these were times that the babies didn't fret so much about who the adult with them was. It gave me and the babies a break from the distress.

Time and patience won in the end with every child and I often thought that the ones who were hard to settle ended up with a closer bond with me.

Keep at it and ask the childminder to take some pictures of the the bits of the day when he is settled so you can see some positives too.

Gold that is a super post.

I agree with everything gold said. Also write down little things you do

• always sing twinkle twinkle before sleep
• always pat on back when crying
• etc

Anything which could help settle your child in a familiar way.

I also agree with Goldmandra's suggestions. All I would add is try to resist the temptation to overcompensate by holding, hugging etc every minute you are with your baby, and make sure you demonstrate that you are comfortable with others holding him, feeding him and so on, whether you are there or not. Especially be bright and breezy when you hand him over, as babies pick up on parents' anxiety/ambivalence more than anything else.