cm or family....

[newdad47]

My ex and me are at loggerheads over whether to send our 5 month old girl to a registered childminder or let her sister/mother share the responsibility of cm.

I believe children develop better interactive skills and learn to share if they are with different children in different surroundings. My ex believes keeping her within family is better.

Can anyone help and offer advice pleade???

What is likely to be more reliable?
If family member did it, what would you need to do in return?

I'm a CM and I'd choose and did indeed choose family to look after my first. With my second I decided to look after them both myself.

A family member who is willing and able to take care of your child in a similar way to you is best. However, ground rules should be set from the start - expectations of what kind of food/ naps etc. you need to be singing from the same hymn sheet. And this is where issues can arise if they don't. If you aren't paying somebody it can be difficult to tell them what to do.

Babies don't need interactions with other children. They need a strong bond with there caregiver - who better than their Grandma or Auntie?
And I'm sure their caregiver will seek out interesting opportunities for them such as toddler groups.

Early Education can come later on in the form of pre-school.

Can't you do half a week at both?
My kids do two days at CM and two days with family.

Their*

If it was your sister /mum would you feel differently?

Ie as his is that why you want a cm?

Family is nice but there need to be rules and make sure they do and bring your dc the way you want

Which if is different from how ex brings up then likely to go his way

Are they reliable? Trustworthy?

I take it that the grandma and auntie would provide free care? That is a consideration. Are you willing to meet the bill for a CM? I can understand your ex being unwilling to foot the bill, or even part of it if she has family on hand who would provide free care. Also depends who your DD lives with - if ex has her most of the time it does make sense to choose childcare to suit her, but if you have her it makes sense to make arrangements to suit you on a day by day basis.

Who would be paying for the childcare?

Split the week. SHe chooses childcare for her half and you choose (and pay for) childcare for your half.