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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Should I tell mum about her son's bad diet?

19 replies

Wallace · 25/08/2006 21:25

Somebody I know (not exactly a friend) has recently started childminding. She was commenting on the appetite of one of her charges(whose mum I also know) She was telling me that in one afternoon this 2 yearold had cheese on toast for lunch, followed by three packets of crisps, a mars bar, chocolate buttons and a few other things I can't remember. I would be horrified if my kids were being fed like this, and I'm pretty sure this boy's mum would be too.

Should I say something, or is it really not my business?

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Original poster

Wallace · 25/08/2006 21:39

bump

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Tommy · 25/08/2006 21:46

oooh..... don't know what I would do but 'll keep this bumoped for you so someone who knows comes along!

moondog · 25/08/2006 21:47

Say nowt.

I can't believe a mother wouldn't ask what her kid is eating at CM's/nursery/school.

First thing I do is ask for a menu!

Original poster

Wallace · 25/08/2006 21:53

That's what I thought moondog, that surely she would want to know what he was eating she also has a 4 year old who goes to the same CM, who would be capable of telling his mum what he had eaten, even if the 2 year old couldn't. I wonder if she was so desperate for a CM that she just puts up with it...

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Original poster

Wallace · 25/08/2006 21:55

I mean would already have asked the CM because she would want to know what he was eating

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moondog · 25/08/2006 21:58

Amalready steeling myself to tell dd's new childminder that I don't want her eating any crap.

Reputation as village lentil weaving loon already firmly established.

nearlythree · 25/08/2006 22:00

Would the CM tell the mum the truth? Personally I'd want to know...I guess it depends on how much you value the friendship of the CM!

smeeinit · 25/08/2006 22:00

omg! i just cant believe sum1 would feed that sort of junk to a child in one day!
i would be furious if sum1 had fed my children like that when they were small.
i think if i were in your position i would drop a few hints,maybe ask the mum if she gets given a full list of what her child is eating each day.

im a cm and each child has a book which i write down daily what they have eaten.
it really cant be doing the poor child
any good to be fed like that and he must be mega hyper when he goes home!!

Original poster

Wallace · 25/08/2006 22:02

LOL I'm sure not all CMs are like this, but another one I know always has a bag of sweets in her pocket which she hands out to all the children as they are coming out of nursery.

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satine · 25/08/2006 22:04

Shoot, that's awful. A childminder I know gets organic meat, fruit and veg for her little charges, and will make flapjack or granola bars for them - which is what I'd like to think my kids were getting, not junk like that. Although I'm not sure what I'd do in your position. Maybe suggest to the mum that she find out a bit more about menus etc without making a direct accusation, if you don't want to tell tales?

Original poster

Wallace · 25/08/2006 22:04

that LOL was for moondog BTw.

I guess I could drop hints, or maybe just drop it into the conversation, eg "so and so was saying what a great appetite your ds has, he ate blah blah blah, etc" And see whta she says!

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smeeinit · 25/08/2006 22:05

seriously what is wrong with these cms?!!!!
my mindees very very rarely get any kind of sweets (im evil really!!)
i feel its my duty as there childcare provider to give them a really healthy diet.
i cant say i do the same for myself though!!

Earthymama · 28/08/2006 04:13

Some of my mindees have been related to people who work in local shops. So now I'm seen as the evil monster who won't let children eat bars of choc or bags of brightly coloured sweeties on their way home from playgroup for lunch.
They've been known to slip the sweets to little ones behind my back, as I'm getting milk out of the fridge, and they are stood next to me, with instructions to not let 'Her' see!! What can you do, just smile grimly and say 'Thank you' through gritted teeth!!
It's no good speaking to some parents as although they rave about the fact that I try to provide organic fresh food and snacks, the kids always ask for rubbish and say, we always have that at home. (not all of my mindees, but quite a few)
DP says I should forget my principles and just give them c**p as it costs less but I can't cope with the hyper behaviour so I still keep trying!!

saltire · 28/08/2006 11:54

I have never really had to give any mindees lunch, as, in the 6 years i've been doing it, parents have always sent lunch. I just provide snacks.
I do however despair of some of the things parents put in lunchboxes, in fact i started a thread on it a while ago - organice grapes, cereal bars and dairylea lunchables one day.
A loaf of bread, a tin of soup, 2 fat free yoghurts and a packet of chocolate biscuits the next
Am i not right in thinking though that CM'c are supposed to follow healthy eating guidlines? I know in Scotland we keep (or at least i do) getting sent things through the care commission about healthy eating - posters leaflets recipes etc. I would assume it was the same in England/Wales

Cailyn3 · 28/08/2006 17:42

If the mother isn't asking the cm what the child is eating, its likely that she's giving it to them herself, esp if the four year old didn't comment on it - I'm a minder and my charges always have their own food packed (although sometimes I have to prepare it). But, not to heap blame on the mother - maybe the child is really fussy with food and thats all the cm could tempt them with. Maybe the child was particularly hungry that day, and being a new minder, maybe thats all she had in the house at the time? Everyone knows what its like when you're running out and really need to go food shopping but can't find the time (and whose willing to take an armful of children shopping with them around Tesco....anyone?). Its not fair to assume that the child eats like that every day, but also its not fair to assume its the cm's fault!

smeeinit · 28/08/2006 21:29

cailyn, sorry but i have to totally disagree with you.
as cms we are being paid to make sure we have all the neccesary "equiptmnent" to care for children on a day to day basis,part of that "equiptment" is food!
if a cm cannot take 4 kiddies to pick up something healthy and nutrious for lunch then do it the night before.......be prepared!
i PERSONALLY dont believe there is any excuse to pile so much junk into a child in one day.

looneytune · 28/08/2006 21:41

I'm afraid I had 2 young children last year and their mum used to be a childminder. Although I made it clear I provided lunch, the mum packed loads of crisps, sausage rolls, cakes, chocolate, biscuits, sweets etc. The children were 5 and 1 and I couldn't believe it, I kept it all in the bag to go home with them but the older one would go on and on about what his mum had packed and how he was going to tell his mum I wouldn't allow them to have them etc etc etc. Anyway, this all happened IMMEDIATELY from starting childminding and I didn't know how to deal with it well. It was MUCH easier when the summer hols were over and I just didn't get anything out for the younger one! I only had these children for a few months due to other problems and having to give them notice!

All this after me telling the mum about healthy food I provide, it not being fair on other kids etc etc

fireflyfairy2 · 28/08/2006 21:55

I don't really think it's up to you to tell the parent anything. It may all come back and make it look like you were sh!t stirring. It's not really any of your concern what other peoples children are eating, in fact I would be annoyed if anyone came and told me what my children had been eating, I think it would look like my c/minder was talking about my ds I send his food daily, be it soup, bolognese, sometimes just fruit and wheaten, so I know what he eats. I think you could come out of this looking bad if you stick your nose in.

Just feel smug that you don't feed crap to children

Cailyn3 · 29/08/2006 21:49

Sorry if I offended you Smeeinit, I would just like to point out that I totally agree that the non-stop crisps and sweets in a diet is appalling, I don't condone it at all and the thought of it makes me quite queasy....I was just showing a possible explanation, not an excuse. No-one really knows the situation that the cm was in at the time, its all assumptions. To get things straight though, I'm personally perfectly happy to tour the local shop with my procession of kiddies to get healthy food. We'll be doing it tomorrow as part of a party day. Speaking of diets though, I've got one mindee that seems to have non-stop noodles and I'm always trying to bulk it out with fruit and offering other food....everyone has problems!

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