YIKES! Interviewing a Nanny for the first time, no earthly idea what I'm doing

[Sparklyboots]

WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HER? I'm so effing working class that I'm going to have to stop myself apologising to her for having a nanny We've not even met anyone with a nanny, we know a couple who use childminders. Talking to them hasn't been all that helpful.

We're in London, it's one day a week, we're paying well (according to the agency). I thought to interview her myself then introduce her to the children for half an hour or so. We're into gentle discipline but I'd be happy for her to be a bit more Jo Frost so long as she doesn't call anyone names (like naughty boy etc.). We're food fussy but will be providing everything anyway, right?

Should I get her a Kew Gardens/ Wetlands Centre pass or somat? Is that a legitimate 'perk'? I feel like such a nob about all this.

Please advise me! I'm actually more worried by this than the two job interviews that I've got this week.

1 day a week......

I really wouldn't worry that much, no need for a pass to.somewhere as there will be alot.of things in the area to do for one day.

Which area of London.do you live?

Maybe people know some things that are around in your area

Just dont make her one day a week Monday, as its a PITA wrt BankHols.

Maybe just explain what your day usually runs like, what tasks you envisage her doing each week, and whether she has got any holidays already booked.

Don't worry! You'll be fine. Two tips:

1. Dream up your questions by imagining things that could go well or badly and thinking of questions you'd ask to get some advance notice. Eg maybe you'll be pleased if she leaves the place tidy / upset if it's a tip. So you might ask her to describe what she expects to do at the end of a session and see if she discusses tidying up.
2. The best interviews get people to describe how they've done something in detail so that the interviewer gets good insight into the interviewee's thought processes. So you could ask something like "tell me about a time when a child was naughty and you had to deal with the situation". Your next questions will be obvious as she tells you the story. Explain that there's no right or wrong answer, so that she doesn't try to guess what you want her to say.

Good luck!

Thanks! This is all really helpful.

Our day is not Monday, so that's good.

Great idea to get her to describe something in detail. God, that's actually really useful for my interviews, too. Unexpectedly helpful advice!

I'd not even thought to ask if she had holidays booked already. I should also ask about whether she's ever available for unexpected extras, too, right? And agree what sort of notice we need for holidays and stuff.

I was going to ask her what her recommended reading was? Just to get the general idea of what her leanings are?

You can basically tell about people, right?

Use some of the time to confirm the basics - such as checking their ID and other documents. Make sure they understand it is 1 day a week, what the hours are. You could ask them about their journey to your home for the interview... did that go well, do they see it being different for the start time you need (more traffic, more busy on public transport?). Take about how they will be getting to/from you, what else they do during the week - just general chit chat but from that you may get info about what other job/s they have.

Agree a Gross salary, make sure they understand what a gross salary is. The agency with luck will have already talked to them about salary if you have given the agency an indication of the salary on offer.

What activities does she like doing with the children, what doesn't she like? Does she know the local area, where would she take children on a nice summers day, wet cold winters day?

Holidays already booked is a good idea, as summer is approaching. Also if there are any other times of year they particularly expect to have off - religious festivals for example. Likewise, are there any times you would not want them to work - sit down with a calendar and work out what dates over say the next year you definitely need them to work, which you definitely do not need them to work. Holiday entitlement for 1 day per week working would be 5.6 days - so consider if you would raise that to 6 whole days, or would you expect them to work part of a day? Some bank holidays change day - such as Xmas, Boxing Day, so factor those in when going through your calendar.

As you say you are food fussy, do discuss what you mean about that in detail. Would you expect nanny to eat the same food as the children? If not, then are there things nanny must not have due to children's allergies (if there are allergies involved)? For example, if you operate a Nut Free or Dairy Free house, then it may be very important that your nanny does not bring such items into the home even for their own consumption.

Gut feeling - listen to your subconscious.

Good advice from all above! But you are worrying too much about not being posh enough to employ a nanny'!! In my 30+ years as a nanny about 70% have been ordinary people and in fact I now choose to work with people who have worked hard to get where they are. I do not want to be 'staff'. I have always been 'one of the family' and still keep in touch with 80% of my x charges. I turned down extensive travel with a pop star because I felt they wanted me to do things completely their way and they had an entourage! So try and find out how nanny would do things and see if you are compatable. Good Luck.

Thanks again, such great detailed advice. I hadn't thought of identity stuff, though have asked for all her certifications. A passport or driver's license is good, right?

I want her to feel like 'one of the family' and don't mind her doing things her own way because she's not their main carer, she's only doing one day a week. There are some things I'm hard line about but I'll be really clear with her. I'd be pleased to hear her input; it's always worth checking your thinking and get an outside view of your child.

I thought I'd sign to the nanny paye company (that my agency suggested) to handle pay and all the related stuff; at least for the first year. Is this a hopeless rip off? I'd rather pay someone to get it right than do us all a disservice by making mistakes.

Gosh I hope she's worth the money as it is a lot (for us) to sacrifice.

Nanny paye is perfect (I'm a nanny)

Find a little about her - her interests/hobbies - a average day as a nanny - what would she do if a child is sick - best/worst part of the day - does she swim

If child sleeps what do you want her to do? Ie cook a couple of meals and put in the freezer or iron (which is more important for you)

Good luck!

A passport or driver's license is good, right?

Photo ID which is issued by a recognised authority is great. Ideally see both of those documents, though you could request them at second interview stage. Not sure on legality of photocopying them but if you employ them then you should keep a record of the passport number/driving licence number. UKBA has a guide to ID document checking

Payroll companies can be useful as they can set things up in terms of registering you as an employer, reminding you when to pay HMRC (the amount and remind you of things like which HMRC accounts office is dealing with your PAYE scheme), producing payslips. Whilst you can do all this yourself with the aid of some payroll software (like Brightpay) or using HMRC's own tools, it can be a steep learning curve. www.payefornannies.co.uk gets mentioned on here quite a bit. Shop around between the various companies you hear about, see which will offer you the best service for your individual need. Do you need weekly or monthly payslips for example? Do you like things to be online, or prefer paper based? Do you need employment law helpline access, or would you call ACAS if you had a query? Cost seems to vary from £99 to over £200 a year, so consider what level of service you need and see which ones answer the phone promptly, provide information clearly. You need to feel able to contact them if you have a query and confident that they will know how to resolve any problem.

A lot of the things to ask have been covered but you might want to just be aware of what not to ask.

You will get a feeling for them from the interview and probably quite quickly. Remember that this will be someone in your home, it's essential that you like and trust them. It's good that you're open to methods other than yours but don't be really vague in the interview about what you actually do. Especially as it's one day a week a nanny with different standards of behaviour will find it very frustrating applying firmer boundaries. Most will tell you that even in a full time job it takes at least a day to recover from the weekend until the children are used to the nanny, and Monday mornings are still usually fraught.

Nannies work for all kinds of families. They won't be bothered in the slightest whether you feel you're posh enough or not :) In fact working for an appreciative normal family is a much nicer experience.