How to settle 14 m-o at childminders

[Cratchit]

DS going off to childminder's next week. It's up to me howto settle him in. He doesn't really know her...So Mornings for a week then full-whack of 4 days a week or full whack straight off, or what?

Advice on any/all aspects please.

For my parents I usually ask that they come first off all for an hour and stay for a chat and coffee a few times, this then progresses to leaving for an hour or two on their own and then gradually having the child for a morning and then for a whole day. (however in the real world it doesn't always work like that!)

When you leave your DS for the first time (depending on his age) you could leave him with something of yours and ask him to look after it till you get back- this way he will know that you are coming back for him. Also don't forget to leave his favourite comforter with him.

I've had children settle in by having them visit with parent a few times, then doing odd hours/days solo; and also had children start full-time with no short settling-in periods - I think it very much depends on your child and what you think he needs.

Will there be other children there next week?

If you have the choice, you could leave him there on his first morning - then ring and check how he is getting on. If he is getting on fine, then you could leave him a bit longer??

Thank you to both. There will be one other child tehre next week, and it will only ever be the two of them. The minding goes on at the other child's house or here. I've suggested an afternoon here next week, where I stay out of the way. I've done this with Dh and brother a couple of times where after ten mins or so I've gone upstairs and all was well with no crying or anything, but I've always done lunch etc. He can be very clingy with me, but happily goes off for walks and stuff with his dad. I know it's probably more painful for me than him, but at the moment he's so gentle, interested, happy and bubbly with other adults and kids I don't want to do anything to jeopardise it. Also don't want all my time with him to become clngy don't leave me as that would make it all very sad after 14 very happy months. My instinct is to ease him in a bit, because, well, why not and why risk it. What do you think? Do I sound neurotic?

No, you are not neurotic!! I think that it is incredibly difficult for parents to leave their children with anyone new, and I always tell any of my new parents that I've had many mummies (never daddies) leave in tears (and, no, not because I'm a monster!)

If you are able to do a shorter day to start with, then I would do that, even if only for your own sanity and peace of mind. I am always happy for a parent to phone or text me to check on how things are going (but not to panic if I can't get to the phone immediately). I've also texted parents to reassure them, particularly if they've left a child who was upset.

Just one question however - why is your childminder going to another mindee's house? That is not usual practice.

Thanks TP. Those are kind words. Day one wasn't good, both kids were haivn ga bad day so i didn't go anyway except around the house. Day was better so I left her with him, but staye din the hosue for an hour or two. Day three I wnt out for and hour and half two hours. Drove round the corner and sobbed my eyes ou for half an hour. Your kind words made me feel better that at least I'm not alone. Not sure what to try next week as need to get him used to the other house too. TGhink maybe I'll jsut take him for a visit as if it were a play date. Then go back on Tues and leave him if all goes well, again for a couple of hours. What do you think?

She goes to my and other mindees houses as really I guess she nannies, but isn't qualified. I calle dhe a childminder because that's what the other mum called her in her ad.

Dpo make sure she is registered if your child ever goes to her house

Unregistered Childminding is so dangerous (both for the minder, for you and for the children)