Au pair troubles

[Debingstar1]

Our Spanish AP has been with us since Sept. She normally makes the children's breakfast, takes them to school and then collects then at 4.15 to bring them home until I get home about 6. She doesn't make their tea or anything. When she started I asked her to do reading etc with them after school but all she does is put the TV on and she just skypes her friends. She gets Fri - Sum off. Anyway I asked her to look after the children for the first time whilst I was working this week for 3 days. I specifically asked her to take them to the park for a few hours to make sure they got some fresh air. It was a beautiful day yesterday and when dh got home they were both still in their pjs and she'd basically done nothing with them all day. She probably couldn't be bothered to take them out having got in the night before about 4 in the morning. I asked her to be around today and she's disappeared for the day! She's got all next week off and I feel she's just taking liberties. Am I being unreasonable? I feel like asking her to go now but will probably have to keep her until the summer holidays as I'm stuffed for after school child care. Any advice would be appreciated?

She's taking the mick. She is being paid to do a job, not just 'be there' passively. She needs to pull her finger out as she just sounds lazy.

Are you being assertive with her? Are you going to ask her for a explanation as to why your requests for her to read and take the children out are being ignored, and why she has gone out for the day when she is supposed to be looking after the children?

Also, does she have a written copy of what the expectations are? If she is under the impression that she has to do little more than make breakfast and do the school run, perhaps that might explain her reluctance to dress them, take them out or read. Was she paid extra for the additional day, given that her hours are usually just markings and after school? Could there be a sense that she feels she's being asked to do more than she signed up for?

It sounds like the job is a means to an end for her, and she isn't really very involved with / interested in the children.

Markings? Mornings!

Would you be paying her the extra for working more hours then usual due to them being on half term?

I think you're totally right. She wants to stay in London but I'm not sure what her plans are so I'll probably tell her she has to leave at the end of the summer. We've been very clear about what we want her to - I wrote out a guide outlining the day and what was required of her. I also spoke to her last week about what I wanted her to do this week. I thought I was being reasonable considering she had 3 days off a week! Thanks for your advice.

She's completely taking the mick. Whether she's paid extra for holiday - my AP isn't but then like yours her workload during school time is fairly light - this is unacceptable behaviour and shows complete disregard for everyone. Time for a very serious chat I would say.

Although her normal school term week is light, I think it is better to structure the aupair's pocket money so that she gets less during the school term and extra for holiday cover as human nature is to want an incentive for more work otherwise she will see term time work as the norm and holiday cover as an imposition.

Alternatively, give her more duties e.g. cleaning during the week to up her hours to 25 hours minimum a week. I think certain people can get lazy if the job is too easy.

But back to the problem, your aupair is taking the piss and you should ideally get rid now and not after the summer. I could not bear an aupair like that in the house eating my food and taking up space for little return. I find the minute I start to micromanage is the beginning of the end. The difference when you actually have a reliable and competent aupair is life-changing. After 9 years of hiring aupairs, I find that the sooner you get rid of the dud, the better it is for everybody.

I would start to seriously performance manage with a view to terminating soon and start looking for a replacement asap. The summer is too long to have a useless aupair in situ.