how to have a difficult conversation with a minder

[fionathepink]

Tonight my son just told us that his minder's child is slapping him on the face. We knew that they were calling him a 'baby' all the time but whenever I have gone to collect him there has been no animosity and they have been really good friends. I am clearly not happy he is being hit but am worried about approaching her about her own child. My son has two months left there and I am dreading sending him on Monday knowing how unhappy he actually is.

I think you will just have to ask her about it and see what her reaction is. What ages are the children involved? I have a 3 year old dd and look after another 3 year old girl. One minute they are the best of friends and the next they are both crying and saying "she hit me", "she pushed me", "she kicked me", etc .... Sometimes they do actually push/hit each other but more often that not it is just an accident completely blown out of proportion mixed in with a bit of general frustration and competitiveness on both sides. Especially towards the evening when they get tired the squabbling gets worse. But for the most part they are good friends so I don't worry about it too much.

I agree there can often be lots of squabbling, particularly towards suppertime, so although it's worth mentioning I wouldn't necessarily take it as gospel. I would suggest you ask her about how she deals with fights between the children (have you seen her behaviour management policy?) and what her plan is for the future as it's clearly an issue.

However you say 'they' were calling him 'baby' all the time. Who is 'they'? Do you mean that the CM and her child have been calling him a baby to his face? If so that sounds more abusive and bullying. Your post mentions that every time you've picked him up he's been fine, but at the end you say he's unhappy? If he's really unhappy then it may be worth considering whether you and your DP can reduce the amount of time he has to go, perhaps by using up holiday. If he's fine every time you pick him up then I'd suggest sticking out the remaining two months.