Who would you hire? Career nanny or not?

[emeraldgirl1]

Just wondering what parents and nannies think in relation to this question for our particular situation.

I work from home so I am around but don't want to be getting in the way!! I desperately need to find someone I can feel completely confident in so that I can shut the door and get on with work.

BUT we only need someone for a few hours a week (8ish, over 2 mornings) so it seems maybe overkill and obviously more expense to hire a fully-qualified professional nanny. I would probably go through an agency too tbh as I am finding a LOT of let-downs for interviews etc at the last minute when looking without an agency. So I would have to pay roughly £500 or more agency fee which is a huge amount for a small-hours job.

I slightly know a perfectly nice girl who is an au pair for another family who could come and do a few hours like this, I guess in more like a babysitting type role. This would be cheaper and less 'faff'.

Thing is though that my DD (13m) is VERY high-maintenance, separation-sensitive etc (main reason, amongst others, that I haven't gone down the route of finding a nice local CM). Have had a nice girl helping me out for a month or so and it's not worked out because DD is too much for an inexperience person to handle. Not only the separation anxiety but also she needs a LOT of energy, ideas for activities etc, and I just don't know if a nice but relatively inexperienced person can do this to the full extent. I don't want (the current situation) DD just pushed aimlessly around in her pushchair with a dummy in her mouth for 2 hours at a time because I have hired someone who isn't confident finding ways to bond or do stuff with her.

Any thoughts or advice?

As I say there are several reasons (too boring to go into) why a CM/couple of mornings at nursery isn't a viable solution.

Bit in a dilemma here!

All the qualified, experienced nannies I've met recently give off an air of confidence that they can cope with a demanding baby...

In your post you've seemed to answer your own question.

You're letting someone go because they are too inexperienced so you know this doesn't work. You admit that your daughter is demanding, and needs the experience and confidence of a good childcarer, and you need to be fully confident of this person whilst you work.

You might think a nanny is expensive for the relatively few hours you need her, but if she enables you to be productive whilst you work from home instead of worrying about your baby then it's probably money well spent.

You don't need to use an agency to find a qualified nanny, lots of us look on nannyjob.com, and a few others.

Are there quite a few families employing nannies round you? If so I'd look for someone who might want to nannyshare. Especially if you can be flexible on hours.

For example there may well be someone whose children are now at nursery school or primary school who wants to keep their nanny on, but the nanny has most mornings free now that the youngest is at nursery school. This is quite a common situation near me. These families would probably love to share their nanny with you for 2/3 mornings a week. You would get sole charge but at a lower cost. And you'd get a "pre vetted" nanny as well.

I would try the cm route. Maybe dc will settle better if you are not there

The agency I used charges 3.5 weeks net pay for part time nannies, so it may not be that expensive if only a few hours a week.

Thanks everyone!
The agency I have in mind (recc from a friend who has a great nanny through them) charges either 5 weeks gross pay or a minimum of £600.
It's partly why I'm in two minds as it is such a lot for a low budget job.
I have spoken to a few other agencies but tbh they have been b
Very generic, this (expensive!!!) one has been the only one that really seemed to listen.
I think I've been unlucky with prospective nannies I've tried to find myself: late cancellations, one who didn't even turn up... Not sure if its because its such a small job so therefore already limits the pool of people available.
I'd love to find a nanny share but at they actually workable in practice? I've heard horror stories of people falling out, also just the kind of niggles that can happen when two different families employ a nanny, differences in what people think is important etc...

I agree nanny shares can be tricky but think a lot of the difficulties are less likely if your DC are not overlapping much so in effect you each have a "sole charge" nanny for your respective hours.

So for example if she only has your DD from 9am to 1pm on Tues and Weds and her other charges are in nursery from 9.30 to 12.30 then there isn't a huge amount of overlap time.

Or even better if you can find someone whose DC are at school, or if you can spread the 8 hours over 3 days (so eg 9.40 to 12.20 Mon to Weds) there need be no overlap at all.

If there is no overlap it doesn't matter if you have different house rules, different parenting approaches, one wants the DC outside all day and one wants them in, one is willing to pay for activities one isn't ... much of the stuff that usally causes fall outs.

I think she would be fine, but you need to book two activities for that time, if you're both in the house at once its not going to work.
So your DD gets used to XXX coming at 9am, then going out (you have the house to yourself to get on with work) and then they come back for lunch. You have your door shut so she can't see you.
I'd book her into monkey music/tumble tots/swimming class/gymboree/season ticket for the local farm, that sort of thing.

Forgot to mention we have had a couple of shared care nannies and its always worked best initially it you're not both in the house together.