How would you settle in a 14month old who had extreme separation anxiety

[missrose]

i posted a few weeks ago about a nanny-share where the nanny seemed to be having problems with the two babies. I will update the other thread but briefly, we found out she was lying about various things to do with the childrens' welfare so we let her go.

We now have another nanny starting on Wednesday next week. My 14month old DD did not settle very well with the old nanny and subsequently became very clingy and upset when I'm not around. My DH and I have shared the childcare for the last month while we wait for the new nanny to work her notice period. When I am at work he says that after about 3pm she doesn't really settle, whinges and cries and nothing calms her down for very long.

I am still breastfeeding her and she has now become obsessed with feeding and would sleep with my boob in her mouth all night if she could. She's also waking 3+ times in the night. I try not to feed her more than once and really want to stop as I am exhausted and constantly ill but it does seem the easiest way for everyone to get some sleep. DH tries to settle her as much as he can but she is very determined! She won't drink any sort of formula or cow's or goat's milk during the day.

I'm very worried about how she will settle with the new nanny and wondered if anyone had any tips to try and make it easier for her and for the nanny?

I was thinking of doing one hour on Saturday and Sunday with the nanny and baby, then leaving them together for two hours on Monday and two hours on Tuesday, then into a full day for Wed, Thur, Fri. Would that work? I also thought that when I leave them on their own it could be at the other house in the share so that she doesn't expect to see me or DH.

I'm very very nervous about leaving her; with the old nanny she cried for six hours non-stop.

I'd say the more she sees new nanny the better. If you've picked a good nanny I really wouldn't worry that much. Lots of settling in sessions with you and nanny and try walking out if the room, eventually out of the house etc etc. my DD is really clingy but fine with professionals

Sounds horrific what happened with last nanny. You poor thing

Thanks Evees. The new nanny didn't seem at all fazed when I said DD cries a LOT. I think she's more used to it than the old one. It was just so awful leaving her with someone I didn't trust so I'm really glad we are out of that situation. Just dreading the settling in period as I know she will be really upset.

I recently changed CM and was panicking about my daughter losing the bond she had with one and her daughter and being scared with the new one. They really do shock you at times. You will be more upset than her I promise.