I really need some advice as I don't want to be unfair to new AP. She has been with us 6 weeks and all started well. The kids seem to like her and she takes her work seriously ie does homework with them, collects from school etc - can't fault her on this at all. But it's started to dawn on me that she doesn't really like children. She often refuses to play with my 5 yr old DD. I don't think DD is very demanding and likes playing by herself eg with lego a lot. AP only has the kids in the afternoons, has half day to herself and tends to go to bed for most of it. When she sees them she is impatient and snappy. She's worst in the mornings and I put this down initially to being a teenager (well, 19 next month) and not good in the mornings (I am probably irritatingly chirpy!) So I generally give her space, let her have a quiet breakfast and talk to the kids and manage getting them out the door myself. I like doing this so no probs. But this morning she was particularly bad and I think things are coming to a head for me. She shouts at the kids in front of me. At first I put this down to cultural diffs, I am a softy with them and laugh at myself for this, and she is German so arguably more brisk, stern. I hate cultural, national stereotypes but thought it might explain a little. Now I a startting to think she actually doesn't like kids. She is never affectionate to them. My DD vomited yesterday, and she never asked me or her afterwards if she is ok. When I took her with me to the hospital one time when my DS (aged 8) had asthma she told me she was bored. I know hospitals are no fun, but does bored come into it when a child is ill? She wasn;t expected to do anything and maybe I shouldn't have taken her along but I thought a helping hand might be needed. This morning she has really name called DS. She told him he was like a woman because he was messing about brushing his hair in the bathroom before school. I understand enough German to get what she says, and her tone is really shouty. Horribly impatient and short and keeps saying 'bitte' raher than trying to interact with them. She sometimes says 'Arrggg' with impatience or sighs to herself in front of me as if she really doesn't like what she does. I don't think my kids are angels but they are well behaved, like most kids a bit scatty in the mornings but loving and never, ever allowed to be rude. Now feel she is putting them down and I have a duty to intervene - if she is like this in front of me, what is she like when I am not here). They seem to like her though. The only other thing to say is she is serious at her tasks, never gives me any hassle asking for anything. But she is eating me out of house and home. She is very overweight and a couch potato, spends hours with her handy (mobile phone) texting and never reads so much as the back of a cereal packet. I don't mind feeding her of course - I think she is part of the family, we budgeted for this, she is always welcome to eat well (though her 4 helpings habit is stunning to watch) and joins us on all meals at restaurants. She is also paid very well, I provide taxis for everytime she goes out with her 2 friends who are trainee teachers at our kids school, and willingly change my work schedule etc to allow her to go out as I think she needs company her own age, to go out, and time away from our home. Also she is always free to invite her friends and they are here a whole day most weekends, and fed by us. I don't begrudge any of this and I treat her as i would want my DD to be treated if she went abroad. In return am I right to want someone to be nice to the children? I don't mean worship my little darlings, I really am not that kind of parent, but patience and some attempt to talk them around, be playful rather than shout and then come out with a stream of put downs doesn't seems a lot to ask? We live in Kenya so she has a nice and rather exotic package package, never has to do any housework as we have a lot of help. But I think she wanted to go abroad, has not got good school results and thought AP was the way to do it, rather than actually liking kids. She often rolls her eyes and comments v clearly that she would never want to be a teacher or work with kids which I thought was a little undiplomatic but not a major sin. Her only experience was babysitting neighbours in her village whom she knows well and who gave good references. But do you think I might be right that she doesn't seem cut out for being an AP? I have put a lot of kindness into her, always include her, show her around as a tourist/visitor, buy her treats, feel responsible for her. And so guess I am a little hurt when she is nasty and would feel guilty if I stand for her being horrible to my children as they are my first interest. What to do?