Unpleasant Mothers ...

[NotQuiteCockney]

There's a local mum who's used two childcare workers I know, both of whom now refuse to work with her. (I say childcare workers, one is a babysitter, daughter of a friend, the other is an au pair, but quite a knowledgeable one, who's worked for loads of people.)

I've used both these childcare workers, and am happy with them.

The problematic mother in question got in touch to ask about a third childcare worker I'd mentioned somewhere public. I sent her the details, then went back and found out that she'd managed to annoy both these other girls.

(She didn't hit them or refuse to pay them, she was just rude and unreliable, cancelling arranged worktimes, etc etc.)

I've left a somewhat hurried message on the nanny's phone, explaining, a bit, the history, so that she can feel free to price herself higher, or at least be aware that there's a potential problem here.

I feel sorry for her, and her kids. I'm tempted to recommend a not-very-good nanny who I know is always looking for work, but can't quite bring myself to ...

What would you do?

Eeeek, steer any poor nanny away from this mother! She sounds baaaad to work for.Why is the not-very-good nanny so bad?

Hmm.

1. She's really really really annoying. She gets my back up in seconds, just by being bossy and irritating and negative.

2. She was doing school pick-ups for a friend, and left her one-year-old downstairs howling while she went up to get the middle kid, up two flights. I understand this if the one-year-old was asleep and woke up, things happen, but she did this over and over and over.

3. The school in question has had complaints about her before and advises against her, so I'm sure there's more.

It's not for a fulltime job or anything, the nanny was doing 6 hours/week for me for a few months, until DS2 was old enough for the co-op, she has kids after school and in the holidays already, so bits and pieces is all she's after.

The nanny is older and more experienced and more assertive than the other two (and also white - problems might have been racist, underneath?), so maybe she'll be ok.

Hello NotQuiteCockney

Right, so this nightmarish-sounding mothers previous childcarers have not been white?

@ leaving 1 yr old alone 2 floors down. What kind of nanny does this I ask ye? Was this her own child or one of her charges?

One of her charges.

The one-year-old was in no danger, she was strapped in a pram, in a gated school yard, iyswim. But she wasn't very happy about being left there.

And yes, the previous carers have been Black British (raised here, very British really) and Turkish.

I know quite a few nannies and childminders and so on. This bad nanny is one of only two I have actual reservations about. (And the other one is not so bad, she's just not great at keeping control of boys, from what I've seen. A friend has been happy with her, but has girls.)

I would steer well clear, keep my lip buttoned, and just agree with any inane comments she might make on the difficultly of finding 'good' childcare, before making a quick getaway.

Local nannies/au-pairs won't thank you for passing their name on to someone like this.

Oh, hello, GO, can I ask you a question about uniform? What sort of shoes and socks are boys supposed to wear? (If you remember the pre-prep uniform, that is?)

Yeah, I would have happily not given her nice-nanny's name (I'm mostly kidding about giving her bad-nanny's name.), but I had v publicly said "I know a lovely nanny who's available for intermittent work." so couldn't really back down.

Hello NQC - sorry, I can't remember the pre-prep stuff. I know in the prep side the shoes must be black and socks grey - would imagine it is the same for pre-prep.

Black socks are required for ceremonial events in the Cathedral when Eton suits are worn.