Dropping nanny's hours but terrified going to lose her

[luckywinner]

We have a really lovely nanny who the dc (3 of them, ages 8, 7 and nearly 2) love. When she started we agreed 3 days a week, 8.30-6. It was meant to be a temp job as initially it was because I had had a back op. I have recovered much quicker than I thought.

I have since got a last minute place on the university course of my dreams. Having her makes it all possible and so stress free as when I get home at 6 the kids are all fed, watered ready to get in the bath.

I was a sahm pre back op, and now I am back at uni 2 days a week. The third day we have her seems such an extravagance. We are finding the childcare costs really crippling. I have worked out the alternative childcare options - nursery for little one, wrap around for other two, and it is only £20 difference and plus all the stress of getting them home, tired, hungry etc doesn't seem worth it.

Ideally for me, she would come 2 days a week. But she is lovely, and I really don't want to lose her. Should I just suck it up and keep 3 days?

I know I should talk to her but I am a complete chicken! We are about to sort out a new contract with her anyway so I suppose it would be a great time to ask her.

Any tips? And thanks for listening to my woes.

Hmmm....if you see the third day as a study day it makes it less of an extravagance.

An alternative would be to suggest two days per week, but extra annual leave, as you will, of course,.have quite a lot of holidays now you are at uni?

I know its a difficult conversation but you have to have it! As a nanny I have had many of these chats. I have been gutted with some families...but still keep in touch with 80% of my past charges. Some I knew it was time to move on. I'm a bit confused. Are you only £20 better off with 2 days nanny? I agree with Ken Adams, use this day as study day. And I must say, if you do lose her, try not to worry as children are very adaptable and there are more than one 'amazing' nanny out there. Parents have to do what is best for them....even tho nanny might be upset!!

I know its a difficult conversation but you have to have it! As a nanny I have had many of these chats. I have been gutted with some families...but still keep in touch with 80% of my past charges. Some I knew it was time to move on. I'm a bit confused. Are you only £20 better off with 2 days nanny? I agree with Ken Adams, use this day as study day. And I must say, if you do lose her, try not to worry as children are very adaptable and there are more than one 'amazing' nanny out there. Parents have to do what is best for them....even tho nanny might be upset!!

Realistically, if you cut her hours by 1/3 then yes, she will probably leave because she will need more money than you are offering. What does she do the other two days? Any chance you could find someone to share her with on your third day?

Do talk to her about it because you never know, she might come up with a solution. But be prepared that you are probably going to lose her. It probably won't be as hard for your children as you think.

it depends how much she has to earn a week and if she has to work 3 days, or maybe even more if she has another job on the days she doesnt work for you

if you really cant afford the extra day, then you need to tell her, she may be happy to work 2 days if has another job along side, she may try and find another one day job,she may leave if needs 3 days

either way you wont know till you ask her :)

If the alternative is only £20 cheaper (a week/a month?) and much less suited to your needs, wouldn't losing your nanny mean your childcare costs were still fairly crippling but your life much more difficult? I think I'd be looking at other ways to save the £20.

I thought op meant if she used a cm for 3 days she saved £20 a week

Thank you lots for the replies. With regards to the savings I would make these would be over the month. I totally agree that for that small amount and the huge amount of stress it would add is not worth it.

I really like the idea of the third day being a study day. I hadn't really thought of it like that. And god knows i could do with one as trying to cram it in at other times.

My nanny makes my life so stress free, apart from the cost. The course is only two years, so I am wondering whether to just see this as a temporary cost. And then my littlest will be 3 and I think would qualify for nursery vouchers?

£20 a month , then def stick with your nanny

if she ofsted reg? if not then pay for the yearly fee think £105 and you will get tax relief on your partners salary

that may help

As soon as your youngest is free she is entitled to fifteen hours free (effectively two days or 5 mornings/afternoons) childcare at nursery or childminder or split between the 2. I should add though- that the places aren't necessarily "free" but a certain amount (£3 something) is knocked off the hourly rate at the nursery.
I would stick with the nanny for now and then the term after your youngest turns three send her to nursery/a childminder and you can claim the free 15 hours against the cost of your childcare.

Honestly though- I don't know many nannies who would be willing (or could afford) to do 2 days a week. Could you look into doing a share with another family/would she be willing to do a second job?

Does your DH get childcare vouchers? If so is your nanny ofsted registered and can you save some £ that way?

Also we cut our nanny's hours to 2 days and she found a 3 day a week job. It was hard but we were lucky. I then got more hours at work and got her back again! Luckily!

I agree about the 2 day week, losing her though. If I were in her position then I definitely couldn't survive on two days a week work. Esp not in London.

That's interesting about the ofsted thing though. Is it v complicated to register?

With regards to future childcare, the vouchers I know wouldn't get me free childcare but def lighten the load.

I really really like our nanny. She does an amazing job and I want to make sure she knows how she makes my life workable. So I am leaning towards keeping the 3 days and selling pretty much anything I own on ebay. i think I am going to have to repeat to myself short term financial investment so I can do my course, long term it should pay off in a better job/more pay.

Thanks everyone for the wise words.

Yes they do help a bit.

It depends - does she have childcare qualifications? I think she needs them so if not, then a faff. She also needs an up to date first aid certificate (a weekend course). We split the cost of the ofsted (about £100 a year) and first aid (can't remember the amount). It's pretty quick to register once she has all the documents. Your DH then registers for his childcare voucher scheme and the vouchers are paid to te nanny.

Stick with her, and go out - to Starbucks or the library or somewhere, to study on the third day. Then you can enjoy the rest of your time without worrying about studying, and she's not an extravagance but a necessity!

Thank you all for wise words of wisdom. We have decided to stay with her with three days. Third day is going to be study day. In the meantime I am going to sell the contents of our house on ebay for a bit of extra cash, plus really cut down on spending. No luxuries for us, although do need the treat of Liz Earle moisturiser! Thanks again all.

Be sure to tell her how valued she is. Its very rarely said in my experience. And a few words make all the difference.