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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

nanny off sick at least once a month

19 replies

sttf01 · 10/12/2013 11:19

Hi, We've had a nanny since April and she's been off sick at least once a month since she started. She has an underlying health condition (colitis) that can flair up, but when i checked her reference, she'd had 5 days off sick in her last job over 2 years. She has only said one of the occasions she's been off with us is down to her condition.
Does this seem excessive? any advice?

OP posts:

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MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams · 10/12/2013 11:24

Are these sicknesses the same time each month? Also, my SIL has ulcerative coalitis (sp) and can go a year fit and well, then (as is currently the case), be admitted to hopital three weeks in a row.

Have a chat with her - ask if theres any underlying issies

NomDeClavier · 10/12/2013 11:24

Are you paying sick days in full? If you are I would stop that now and do SSP only. Odd days of sickness are much more tempting if you know you'll get paid.

Unexpected · 10/12/2013 12:18

What does your contact say about paying for sickness? Obviously if you have been paying her in line with her contract you can't suddenly change that but yes, if you have been paying in full when you are only obliged to pay SSP, you might wish to review that.

When you say she has been off at least once a month, is that single days or multiples? How many days in total has she been off sick since April?

You don't mention if you have spoken to her about her level of sickness. Is she taking time off for every sniffle? Have you encouraged her to try and come to work and just have a quiet sofa day with the kids watching TV? (Assuming that would be preferable for you to having to make alternative emergency arrangements). Has she actually told you what is wrong? Is it different ailments all the time (you said only once was connected to colitis)? You need to work with her to see how you can both help to improve her attendance rate.

Blondeshavemorefun · 10/12/2013 13:19

so she has had maybe 8 days off?

if one was due to her health condition then what were others for

a sniffle/cough etc then i go into work and if i feel really crap (rare for me tbh) then i still go in but say have a quiet sofa/tv day which tbh most employers are fine with as means they can go to work

i have never got S&D touch wood/head but thats the only thing i think nannies should stay away with

what does make me laugh thought, is often employers (mainly my friends and not mine) but they have days off sick and bum around at home, when tbh they arent that ill, yet they get annoyed if their nanny is really ill, and make them feel guilty

got one friend, not sure if on here and she suffers from tonsillitis and bronchitis really badly and needed to take time off last week and her mb made her feel terrible and guilty for being ill, but was was worse is that mb is at home on ml so not even at work !!!!!

Original poster

sttf01 · 10/12/2013 13:35

her contract says SSP so she's not getting paid and it is just one day at time. Saying she's vomited or has got a stomach bug. Only yesterday did she say it due to her colitis.
I've talked to her about how as long as she gets her and makes sure the kids are fed and safe that is the only thing that really matters (i.e. don't bother about washing or taking the older one to ballet or swim class if you haven't got the energy etc) I've made it very clear I'm supportive of sofa days. Honestly, i did this in a really supportive way. she broke up with her ex boyfriend in September (cue another day off) and we didn't say anything...we do recognise that she's human and has ups and downs!

to be honest, she been needing a bit of reminding to change the kids beds and i've done most of the washing over the past few weeks.
I really want it to work out but I'm not sure if she's not well or not happy and being a bit passive/aggressive about it!
I feel i have to say something now about her attendance record as a verbal warning. is this reasonable? trust me, i really want things to work out but the disruption is quite frequent: we really need greater reliability :-/

OP posts:

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams · 10/12/2013 13:44

I get performance reviews in my work and dont see why you couldnt do them with her. Discuss her atributes and areas for development and discuss anything she may need support with. Look at her list of duties with her and see if there is anything you and she agree to remove or add. Tell her she will be reviewed again in six months and any areas of concern need to be addressed by then. She is your employee.

Blondeshavemorefun · 10/12/2013 13:47

i think maybe you need to have a chat and say you noticed she had a lot of days off, and you are concerned about her, mention again you are happy for sofa days

praise good things, then mention duties arent being done

yes breaking up with someone is hard, but not worthy of a day off

what do you do for childcare when she is off? is your work ok with you taking time off or do you get gps/temp nanny etc in?

lilyaldrin · 10/12/2013 13:48

Most employers have some kind of system for managing attendance - for example where I work, 3 absences or 6 days off within any 3 month period would trigger a warning that would last for 6 months. You might have to exclude any disability related sickness if her condition counts as a disability.

Original poster

sttf01 · 10/12/2013 13:52

thanks for the advice folks. we'll have to sit down with her and say we'll review the "progress" in 3 months time...she's only been with us just over 8 months.
we use temp nannies from tinies. work have been ok, but its happening quite frequently so has actually contributed to my work stress. i found myself lying to work yesterday that i had a plumber round to service the boiler as i didn't get in until 9.45am.

OP posts:

SwirlingStorm · 10/12/2013 16:16

I think it is legal to dismiss an employee within their first two years of employment (used to be one year) without having to give a reason. Probably worth checking this out but I used to work at the CAB and I'm pretty sure this is the case (unless an employee is dismissed due to e.g. pregnancy which is of course illegal).

I'm sure you don't want to go down this route just yet but it might be worth bearing in mind if things get worse...!

NomDeClavier · 10/12/2013 16:36

You're right swirling but colitis may count as a disability and dismissing due to sickness caused by a disability is problematic. Not impossible if it has an unsustainable impact, which a nanny taking frequent absences would be, but not as straightforward as just giving notice.

Poloholo · 10/12/2013 16:39

You have to say something. Sounds like she doesn't fully get that if she can't work, you can't work unless you pay for emergency childcare which is really not ideal anyway.

Original poster

sttf01 · 10/12/2013 16:49

will bear this in mind. thanks x

OP posts:

nannynick · 10/12/2013 22:10

to be honest, she been needing a bit of reminding to change the kids beds and i've done most of the washing over the past few weeks.

Put a system in place, a diary for example. Google Calendar is useful, you can set it up with repeating tasks.

Original poster

sttf01 · 11/12/2013 13:59

good idea nannynick...thank you!

OP posts:

d1d2 · 12/12/2013 10:06

I had the exact same situation 4 years ago, our nanny even having the same medical condition. In our experience the absenteeism got worse, it got to the stage where I could not arrange work meetings for Monday mornings as I could not be assured she would turn up. Our mistake was not addressing this at the start and making it clear that we could not continue like this. In hindsight, I would not have kept her on beyond the probabationary period, the stress her absenses had on DH and I was too much,

Shruti04 · 12/12/2013 13:43

You should talk to her about this dear. You need to check whether she will get pay for off day or not. Sometimes it is quite normal to get off, it may be true about her.

Unexpected · 12/12/2013 16:58

Shruti, your response doesn't make a lot of sense? The OP is the nanny's employer, she is well aware of what the nanny gets paid, which in this case she has confirmed is SSP.

Original poster

sttf01 · 16/12/2013 14:32

that's very interesting that you've had the same experience d1d2. we're talking to her tomorrow. we'll see what happens!

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