Has DS simply grown out of his childminder?

[FetchezLaVache]

DS, 3.7, has been going to a fantastic childminder one day a week for nearly two years. She's great- on the same page wrt absolutely everything, does loads of activities with the children, takes them for nature walks, picnics, to toddler groups etc, has a lovely garden for them to play in- can't fault her in any way. However, we've had to change days and not only is there no toddler group available on his day, but he's with two much younger children for half of the day and he no longer coincides with his particular friend. Also, CM herself said ages ago that she thinks DS would benefit from a pre-school environment as well as/instead of coming to her.

In September, DS's 15 hours kicked in so he now also goes to a nursery a day and a half a week. He loves it there, spending all his time with children the same age, different range of activities including swimming etc.

However, since he started nursery he's been increasingly reluctant to go to CM's, crying at drop-off and last week he sat on the kitchen floor and announced that he would wait there for Daddy to pick him up! Today he told me he finds it boring at the CM's and that the only thing he likes about it is lunchtime. :(

Nursery has availability for one further afternoon per week. Should I think about stopping CM altogether and instead sending him to nursery one full day and two half days a week?

Definitely....he'll be 4 before you know it....he will be better off at nursery.

yes, definitely, at that age nursery is much better

(I am a cm btw...)

Yes, nursery is better for him now. He will be at school this time next year so it's good for him to get used to that sort of environment. As he is nearly 4, I expect nursery have lots of stuff going on that he enjoys and benefits from.

Yes nursery definitely better at his age.

I wouldn't say so. Surely cm just has to do things that interest him now? Exactly the same as parents change what they do.

CMs can work well for children up to school age, but it sounds like he is happier at nursery and so I would send him there.

I mind children up to 5, but I am also a firm believer that small children should be where they are happy.

Thanks for all the input! Just spoken to Ex about it, we're totally confused because we like the CM so much and were hoping to keep him there a bit longer... You have largely confirmed what I was thinking, so I will see if I can have a chat to her about it, see what she thinks.

I think he must be fairly sidelined in the morning when the two little ones are there, but in the afternoon there are two children his own age (one of whom is his cousin), so I would have thought he would have come away with a favourable overall impression of his day IYSWIM. But apparently not and he mainly takes away memories of being bored (and he's not a difficult child to engage, generally...).

Tricky one!

I'm a cm with my own nearly 4 year old and I sometimes feel he's a bit left out when It's just babies here, but he does play really well with some of them, last week him and an 18 month old spent the day den building and having great fun together where sometimes he can get a bit fed up and I feel he has more fun at school. He goes to the school nursery 2 1/2 days a week which is plenty at his age as he gets tired out. Hard one to choose really his childminder should be following eyfs like the nursery anyway so I'd say it's more of a social thing if his friends etc are on different days now.

I think at that age they might benefit from their day being broken up by pre school. Mine enjoyed the time out from home. I think if you used your CM alongside pre-school it could cure the boredom factor.

He could go to pre school in the morning and have a lovely chilled out afternoon with the CM.

That's how I'd do it. Obviously it might cost a bit more, but might suit your child more. What will you do when your DS starts school? Are you hoping to use the same CM?

I dithered about this because I loved the childminder so much, but she was about to get small babies so I plumped for nursery.

It is trickier to find things to interest and entertain babies and older children. I tend to go out and do more active things in the mornings, mainly for the older children's benefit, then have a bit of playtime with the little ones, then focus on the older ones while the babies nap, doing crafts, puzzles and such which wouldn't suit the babies. It seems to work for us, but I also have older ones who go to preschool on days they are not with me, so maybe a slightly gentler pace is welcome on my days. I think I'd have a word with your CM and mention that your DS has said he has been bored. She may not have realised and might then put a bit more effort into finding activities to suit his interests. If he is still not happy, you could then up the pre-school sessions. I am sure she would understand - every child is different.

We have gone for an extra (paid) session at pre-school to break up the day at CM's when DS2's best friend isn't there. Roll on September, I hope

My DS2 turned 4 last month.
From August onwards he was getting more and more upset about going to his usual nursery (he attends two but he'd been at this particular one from 6 months old) He has always been 'easy' w.r.t nursery - settled no problem, and rarely cried - but he was becoming clingy, upset and occasionally distraught when I left him. I'd ask him why and he would just say he didn't like it any more.

I think he'd just grown out of it. Same rooms. Same play areas. Not enough stimulation. Luckily for us, the owners have another nursery just down the road and the manager arranged for a switch. For him the change worked brilliantly. He immediately went back to his normal happy self. The new nursery was exactly what he needed.

Its not exactly the same of course as going from a CM to a nursery, but pre-schoolers get fed up of stuff too. Change as good as a rest and all that :)

Exactly the same thing happened with DS. Lovely cm but ds had just outgrown the activities and other children. We just rode with it as he started ft pre school at 4 . Bit of a learning experience for us that nothing lasts forever with children !

Sounds as though he enjoys nursery more.

But Ds is leaving his childminder now, with a wrench at his heart, as he has been there for 15 years. But they do have a range of children. They have been the best thing in his life.