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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Dummy troubles with mindee.

11 replies

MPB · 03/12/2013 13:01

How do I wean a 2.5 year old off the dummy?

DC comes to me full days Mon -Wed. And arrives with one in mouth. We set off straight to school, if I take the dummy at school mindee grumps a bit, but starts crying for it as we are walking down the path out if school. Then has full on screaming fit if it's not given.

I tried not giving it - results in a 15 minute plus tantrum when we get home.
Giving it just in car - same result as a above when we get in.

Had it this morning as was laid out on Sofa. Watched some TV. Took it away and resulted in a tantrum.

WWYD?

Parents are trying. Dad dropped off the other day took out dummy, child was fine without, then he put it back in as he left!

My children had dummies but only at night or nap time at that age.

Don't know why it's suddenly an issue with the child previously it's come out of its own accord, dropped and then I've hidden it.
I feel so mean, but it is affecting speech. But it is the one thing that would calm the child down mid tantrum and I can't give it, because that's what it's all about - aaaargh!

If it was my own child I'd just think tough luck!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

eeyore12 · 03/12/2013 13:32

If the parents and you only want the child to have it at sleep times then that is what happens. If they want it they go and lay down (and not in front of the TV) in a quite boring place. If they want to get the dummy stays there and they can go back to it anytime they like but they must lay down with it. Hopefully they will soon realise what else they are missing out on and you can get them to put it there ready when they arrive. They will soon pick up on different rules at yours to home so I would prob continue with this even if parents didn't do it at home as long as they back you up ie they tell the child to go and put it on the bed when they arrive.

Good luck

PhoebeMcPeePee · 03/12/2013 14:13

I would treat this a bit like potty training insomuch as I would be speaking to parents about starting the process at home on the Thursday which gives them 4 full days to crack it then you will them by carrying it through in your setting. It sounds like Dad is trying but mainly just giving in which of course defeats trying in the first place! Good luck.

PhoebeMcPeePee · 03/12/2013 14:14

Hmm not sure what happened there > should be support !

HSMMaCM · 03/12/2013 14:42

I agree with eeyore. Keep the dummy in the bed.

homeaway · 03/12/2013 14:58

You could suggest to the parents that the dummy fairy comes to their house one night and collects all the dummies for the tiny babies who need them or something along those lines . The fairy leaves a nice present for the little boy in exchange for the dummies. Or... father christmas could collect the dummies with his elves ....

Belugagrad · 03/12/2013 16:19

I believe in cold turkey. We 'bought' a toy with our dummies and that was it. It wasn't easy but wasn't as bad as you think- we also did it at lent to give me greater strength!! Everyone as to agree and stick to a plan though.

HSMMaCM · 03/12/2013 17:02

Cold turkey is much easier, but if this child's parents want them to have it for sleep, then that's where it should stay.

Original poster

MPB · 03/12/2013 17:03

I think that Father Christmas is taking them. But meanwhile I'll stick to my guns. Mindee is realising, as they handed them straight over after the school run (in pushchair).

I was worried I was really upsetting mindee by taking away their comfort. But I think it's just a toddler strop rather than true upset. I always offer a nice thing to do instead, and sit them somewhere dull but safe. If they have to have it.

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Original poster

MPB · 03/12/2013 17:05

I cold turkeyed my DC's.

I'm just taking away first thing tomorrow. And taking no nonsense. Only have at nap time. Toddler group should distract.

OP posts:

Lucylouby · 03/12/2013 21:27

I had a similar situation with a mindee. Parents said no more dummy, but would give in if she cried for long enough. It was hard, but I just said, no more dummy at Lucy's house and it went. I told parents to stop sending it. It is too confusing for child to sometimes be allowed it, sometimes not. The only exception would be sleep time, (my mindee had stopped napping). If they are used to sleeping with it, keep it for that, but only in the napping place. It shouldn't take long to break the habit, but it may be a hard few days for you all.

Original poster

MPB · 04/12/2013 11:25

Much better day arrived with two.
I took them from mindee straight away. And there was some sulking. Now we are fine.

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