Sick days, hours, pay.

[Ninny8]

Hi there,

I would really appreciate advice and opinions on my predicament. I am a nanny to one child and have been with the family just over a year. The mother has always been difficult to work with but over the time, we have formed better understandings of each other and I have found ways to work with her extreme personality. At the beginning of this week, I took two sick days - my first in the whole time I have worked there. I was able to do this because her mother was visiting. Prior to this, I have been ill but have worked anyway and she is aware of this.

Their housekeeper (who normally comes three times a week) is off for a day this week and one next week and she sent me a text saying that she may have to ask me to do some ironing and that we would discuss this. I replied saying that I would be happy to do some but that I am not a quick or perfect ironer but would do my best and if she wanted to call me to discuss it, she could. Because her mother is there, I am leaving before she gets home so we have not been able to speak in person. I went in yesterday, despite still feeling quite unwell and did one load of washing and today I was also only able to do one load as I could not get into the laundry/spare room as her mother had been using it and I did not know what space I had to dry things and also only had a limited amount of time as the washing cycle is really long. I had a text from her when I got home today telling me that she hoped I would have done more washing and telling me to come an hour early tomorrow to do ironing. I apologised for not doing another load of washing today and explained the reasons why and she then sent me another text telling me how upset she was that I had not done enough washing so that I wouldn't have as much to iron as though it was intentional which was not the case at all. As well as this, she said that although she will pay me for the sick days, I haven't worked much this week (because her mother is there, not my choice) so next week I need to work reduced hours because of her mother but I won't get my full pay which is supposed to be 35 hours minimum. Well the money will go through but I will need to work of the deficit which will be about ten and a half hours. I don't get any choice in this at all and when her mother has been there before, I have still received my full pay. I have a feeling that this is because of the sick days as I know she treated the last nanny badly over sick pay. I am incredibly upset about it because she is accusing me of not doing enough laundry intentionally without accepting my valid explanation and demanding I begin early instead of asking me if I can. I am not a housekeeper and ironing is a favour. I am still unwell and trying to work to the best of my ability. I am offended by the way she is treating me and I don't even know if it is okay for her to decide to pay me less at the last minute because her mother came to visit. Surely this should have been discussed first. Sorry for such a long message. I would really appreciate any opinions and advice, especially from a mother's point of view. Thanks so much.

She does sound difficult to say the least
What does your contract say? Did she tell you to leave early because her mother was there or did the mother tell you?
It seems very unreasonable of her to cut your hours just because her mother is there?

Well we only have a verbal contract. She presented me with a contract in the beginning that involved me signing to say she could see my medical records if I was ill so I wouldn't sign and she never revised it and eventually we settled on a verbal agreement which sometimes I think gives me some more flexibility if I need it but on occasions like this it might actually be helpful. This week the mother told me I could go but she said that next week she doesn't need me as much because her mother is there. On the previous occasions when her mother has visited, I was payed my minimum and still left earlier than normal.

It's illegal to be in a job for a Year and not have a contract

Also without one you havnt got a leg to stand on tbh

If mum wants to send you home early she can and without pay :(

She sounds unreasonable and asking you to iron was a bit but I believe in give and take - but I wouldn't be coming in early to do it

And disbelieving you about the washing :(

Sounds to me you would be better off finding a new job and a family who appreciate you - tho easier said then done

I didn't realise that. I know the last nanny didn't have a formal contract either. I am very much a believer in give and take too but I continuously feel like it is one sided. Like I said, I am happy to iron but not happy to be ordered to come in early to iron. I would willingly come in early to make up for the inconvenience of being ill if I was asked politely though. She gets mean when her mum is around every time so I guess there are some things that are on her mind that she is taking out on me as well. I wish I could leave but responsibility to the child and fear of her refusing to give me a reference if I go are major factors that make me stay. In less than a year I am leaving London though so I just need to get through it. On occasion I have confronted her about her rudeness/unfair accusations. This may be one of those times when I need to again because although she never accepts that she might not be in the right, she does back down starts to be more polite. Any thoughts on what I should do regarding contract?

If you have the draft contract still, modify that and present it to your boss for consideration.

You both need something which sets out what the verbal agreement is. If you are in the UK then what has to be in the document is specified on the ACAS.org.uk website (google ACAS Written Statement). If you are elsewhere then look at local employment rules/legislation.