Toilet related! Differences between CM & nursery

[ZenNudist]

If be interested in CM viewpoint on this. The question equally applies to nursery staff.

Is it acceptable for one of your charges to have 6 wee accidents in a day? If they are 3.2yo & have been potty trained for 6m?

Ds does have lots of wee accidents at nursery. More than he has at home with me. They often send him home having gone through three sets of clothes, which I think is showing lack if care on their part. Today they reached a low of 6 changes. I think this shows lack of care on the nursery's part. I'm also concerned they are teaching him that its ok to wet himself! AIBU?

Ds is similar to lots of my friends' dcs who will hold out on going to the loo or say he doesn't need it when he does. At home with me I keep an eye out and ask/make him go to the loo. Usually when I want a wee I ask him if he needs it too.

I recognise its different when you have lots of children to look after. Am I being unfair on nursery? Or are they doing a bad job on teaching good toilet habits?

Yes, think you've just got a tricky one like me. I had a not brilliant one first time round, so was beyond pleased when she got it straight away and was dry for 3 months

Good luck. The most depressing bit was when my DD just couldn't ever get to the loo anywhere without accident at all. She has recently been so much better at nursery and occasionally takes herself here without accident so I see hope again which makes me feel much better!

zen, you are expecting too much of the nursery
you say they have promised to 'pay more attention', it sounds exactly like you are blaming them and accusing them of being neglectful in their care
he doesn't sound like he is toilet trained to me, not if he needs constant reminding to go to the toilet
also, they simply cannot have set times when everybody is taken to the toilet- children need to be able to read their own bodies and decide for themselves when they need to go to the toilet, or yes, it will be still happening when he is at school

Some things to consider
are his trousers pull-down and up, without buttons and zips?
do they fit properly and not too tight? This can cause accidents if he is unable to manage his trousers

does he pull his trousers down far enough? is he weeing on them in the bathroom?
could he have a urine infection? showing any signs of redness on his willy?
does he need circumsicing? if the foreskin does not pull back sufficiently then it sort of comes out at a funny angle and the flow can be unpredictable
final piece of advice- stop asking him to go to the toilet- let him tell you when he needs to go, or he will never learn, at the moment it sounds like he is relying on the adults to tell him to go

Your ds is way too old to be wetting that many times a day - sounds as though you waited fir nursery to tell you when to start potty training and you waited too long. He shoukd not need constant reminding and it is wrong of you to blame the nursery. You need to deal with this. maybe take a full week off work to train him yourself as he does not sound toilet trained.