We parted company with dds' childminder today and now I have no cover for the holidays and beyond

[galaxy]

Long story but dd 3.5, has been going to her current cm since Easter after her previous minder changed jobs, having had dd since she was 3 months old. New minder has a 2 year old and a 9 year old plus has a 5 year old after school. dd goes 4 days afternoons after being at nursery in the mornings.

We learned today by a letter from her which she put in dd's bag (not told it was there), that her ds and dd are not getting on. In a nutshell, he screams every time he sees her. Apart from the 1st couple of days when she had dd, she has not told us that there was this problem. dh picks up every day and she has never told him there's a problem. I went round Tuesday night to collect dd's shoes, she'd left there and she never said anything despite the fact that we chatted for 20 minutesnd then I get this letter.

Having talked to dd, she is really unhappy, c/m and her ds is really unhappy so we agreed to part company from now.

Now I'm stuffed. I have back to back meetings/client visits until we are on holiday on 11th August. dh can't take any time off work and there are only 3 minders with vacanies where we live, funnilly enough 1 of those being her c/m who said she wasn't taking on anymore children and yet last Friday, she posted a vacancy so I think this has been planned. She also changed her agreement on how she would charge in schoolholidays which I had to accept. It's almost like she has being trying to get us to remove dd. 2 of the others can't do the nursery pick up and I wont know about the other until I can call her tomorrow but the fees she is quoting are £2.00 more than we were paying the 1st minder and she charges full day as opposed to half day , again unlike 1st minder who just charged for the actual hours she had her.

dd finished for 10 weeks school holiday today so now I have to drive dd to my mums on Sunday, collect her on Tuesday, take her to in-laws on Wednesday and pick her up Thursday and do this until I can find a minder. I feel really peeved that she has dealt with itlike this and not had the decency to speak to us.

To get this letter today, having just got dd's nursery report saying what a happy friendly and bright child she is is really upsetting.

oh and to top it all , MIL has just left message to say they can't have dd next week or week after as they are gling away now.

Life sucks

I think you should phone in sick next week LOL

I can't phone in sick - ranted at my boss when I read the letter - was on phone to him when I opened it. Wouldn't do that anyway.

As a very temporary soluition, perhaps having an 'emergency' nanny would help. However the cost would be high, and they would be coming to your home, rather than your dd going to theirs.
This would at least give you a little breathing space to find a suitable childminder.

I'm surprised there was no notice period... childminders I know would generally give parents a bit of warning, so they could find alternative care.

If you are in my neck of the woods (West Surrey/East Berks) then as of Monday I'm on my Summer break, but as a nanny my charges are a lot more than a childminders would be.

Hope you are able to able to sort things out.

Where are you - can we find you a MN minder

I am surprised/upset about the way this minder has acted - even when relationship have broken down I have offered the notice period (except for the time a dad threatened me)

A temporary Nanny might work or contact your local college to see if there is a "graduate" or someone half way thro' looking for a summer job

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Hiya, Feel so sorry for you - where do you live? Perhaps I can help.

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Thankds for your replies but I went to bed early last night. To be fair, I suggested we part company without notice as I was totally unhappy with the situation and the way she dealt with it. There is obviously no relationship between us in that she didn't feel able to talk to us about her concerns before writing the letter. I was worried about dd going there on Monday and spending 8 hours thereif things were stressful enough when she was only there for 3 hours so I suggested we part company.

She offered no objection and it was almost like she had been waiting for an excuse for this to happen.

Anyway, I was very polite and calm when I spoke to her about the letter and despite my normal firey personality I am very proud of the calm way in which I dealt with it.

I have an appointment to see a minder on Monday night albeit she is not in the ideal area for the pick up at night and have the number of the local Childminder Network co-ordinator so hopefully something will be sorted out soon.

I'm in Farnham, Surrey if anyone knows of any vacancies!

Oh and I can't afford a nanny!

I think I need to turn the light on - my typingis as bad as Cod's 2nite!

I think I need to turn the light on - my typingis as bad as Cod's 2nite!

I think it was very nice of all of you ladies (and men )offering to help Galaxy out Especially NannyNick who said he was on holidays from Monday and would help out and FrostyFace who offered help too I'm sure Galaxy really did mean to say thankyou but she forgot

I mean, she did thankyou for your replies, just not your offers of help

Thanks for your valuable input CW - sorry I wasn't explicit enough about my thanks. Anything helpful to contribute now?

BTW - do you have a small or large wooden spoon?

Hi Galaxy,

No help to offer I am afraid, just wanted to pop in and say Hi!

Hope you are all well aside from this.

SM xx

I would look after thenm if it weren't for teh geography

Thanks secur - how are you and the family?

I'm doing very well thanks apart from this stress but I think I've learnt that everything works out well in the end. Landed a great job after the last two disasters, dd and ds are great and dh is fab.

Can you extend nursery hours?

HI jimjams. The nursery is attached to a private school and it broke up yesterday until 13th September so not an option.. She can go 9 till 3:15 from Septemver but it's quite a formal atmosphere and although she's probably ready, I can't bring myself to do it. She's not 4 until November.

Sorry I'm being stroppy. Apologies to everyone who offered help especially Nannynick but I really can't afford a nanny.

Think I'd best disappear now. Very tired and too emotional

Oh arse Galaxy..............

CAT me, may have some one who can help, dont get excited she may not be able to either.

Just CAT me.............

blimey, what an awful 'jigsaw' of arrangements have to be made sometimes. What about parental leave next week to tide you over the period when your in-laws are away? You and DH could share the responsibility and take a week each - you have the legal right to this.

At least this would give you a bit of breathing space to find a new minder and stop your DD having to go from place to place, then immediately into a new CM's home!

Sherlock: tried but my subscription isn't up to date apparently which I'm surprised about. Can you email me on carol120401 at yahoo dot com. The Farnham Network Coordinator never called back

Sparklemagic: I can't take parental leave as I have loads of client meetings booked in and it's really busy at work. dh is a shop manager and he has staff off so that's a non-starter . I'm OK for the next week and hopefully we'll get something sorted even if it's just holiday care for now. Had a chat with dd earlier and she's OK about everything.