Aupair- very basic questions

[flippingstupidnickname]

Hi all, we are considering getting an Aupair but know nothing about it. I have done some research but still have some basic questions:

If you provide a mobile phone are you expected to pay the bills? Or do you just set them up with a pay as you go which they fund themselves?

Are you expected to pay for their flights home?

How much holiday time (ie to go home) would they expect?

Roughly how much has you weekly food shopping bill increased by?

Are you expected to pay for a language course at college?

Roughly how much does your car insurance cost to insure a european driver?

What else (other than food and board) are you expected to pay for?

Thanks for your help.

Wow. Hope someone answers this properly - would like to know all the answers too. We have an AP but English (not local) so no language issues. She has a 3 day weekend every other and often goes home then. We don't provide a mobile but allow unlimited landline to landline calls and if she needs to call us about the kids from her mob she texts or we call back. She has 6 weeks hols in theory but both she and us are v flexible about that. Food bill has not increased by much - £10 at most but she is veggie that may help.

It is utterly the best decision we ever made though - she has transformed our lives

The answer to must of your questions is that it is up to you (not at all helpful I know) but the more you offer the more au pairs will consider you application and therefore in theory at least the more chance you will get a good one.

Mobile - we provide a phone with SIM and put a set amount of credit on it per month. Anything over that she pays for. This is mainly as I want her to be able to ring/text me or DH if she has issues or concerns. And amount others I know this is the usual thing to do. We don't allow her to call out on our landline (France) but she can have people call in.

Flights - no expectation at all! But we paid for our last ones flight home at the very end as a "thank you gift" next time though we think we will just give her the £100. If they fly home during their stay with you it is at their own cost I.e. for Xmas

Holiday - we give 4 weeks paid holiday and all bank holidays off. Again this is pretty normal. Last AP had a job interview so took an additional week unpaid but let us know far in advance and said she wouldn't go if it caused us problems. They normally go back for Xmas and then around (but not for) Easter.

Food - I have NO idea but not that much maybe £10 - £20 a week??

Language course - entirely optional, some don't want to do it. We pay £50 towards the cost of the course. Many give nothing at all towards it, some pay the whole lot.

Driving - cant tell you I am afraid. We don't allow any of our AP's to drive the children as their standard is not excellent and you need to be aware of the fact that though they say they can drive, it may not be as good as you would like.

There is nothing else you are expected to pay for but all household are different. Our AP's pay for their own shampoo, toothpaste etc as they often have brands they want. We will often give them lifts to college, into town etc. It all depends on the pocket money you pay as well. For AP outside of London £75 in minimum and for AP+ it is £85 minimum, but that is definitely a minimum guide and you will have to factor in how many children, how much housework, other jobs. Our AP only looks after children and the dogs (I.e. they are in the house with her, she doesn't walk them) no housework and she has a double bedroom, the next one will have the single bedroom so will be paid more to make up for that.

Bear in mind your AP has to be happy with their "package" as otherwise they can be disinterested in the children, sullen, unmotivated and eventually will leave but also don't fall into the trap that the more I pay the better AP I will get, as this is not always the case. Very careful selection and interview procedure are required.

I always think "would I have been willing to do that for the package AP is on when I was that age" if you are unsure then you probably shouldn't ask them to do it.

Sorry for the long reply, I hope it helps. Another questions feel free to ask.

Thank you Jammie, that's really useful info and exactly what we needed to know!

Hi,
I'll just add a bit about driving. The insurance will vary from one insurance company to the other (and the car you have). But your au pair's age is a factor, if they are over 24 insurance is cheaper, also the insurer will ask if they have had driving convictions in the last 3 years and if they have held a licence for five years.

We only get au pairs which are over 24 and also those who drive often in their home country. (Lots of au pairs have had a licence for a while but never drive and I am not prepared to take a risk with an inexperienced driver.) Also, we always book them 2-3 lessons with an instructor once they are here and then speak to the instructor to see if they are happy with that. Assuming all good, they then drive for a bit in our local area with me in the car (over the weekend) and then they do a school run with me in the car for two three days and then I live them to it if I am happy with how it went. Sounds a bit long winded but we live in London and I need to make sure my au pair is a safe driver and also doesn't freak out on busy London roads.

I apologise for typos....

I tend to "leave" them to it rather than "live" them to it normally!
Also "....speak to the instructor to see if the instructor is happy with the au pair's driving".

Hopefully you got the idea from the garbled message I posted.

Our au pair has a pay as you go phone, which we use to text her with (she gets unlimited free texts to us) and if she needs more credit then she tops it up herself.

Our au pairs have paid for their own flights, but then they have come from the USA and Australia, so if they were European I might have been more willing to offer to pay. They haven't needed language courses. I looked into adding them to the car insurance, but the cost outweighed the need for them to drive as we live within walking distance of everything.

The weekly food shop hasn't increased massively, maybe around 30 a week, but it varies.

Other things we pay for are things like coffees, snacks, etc when were out. E.g. If we go to a soft play centre and I have a drink ill always get the au pair one. Same with eating lunch out, etc. I tend to go out somewhere with dd most days, so it does add up, but it depends on your lifestyle. I know some families make their package more attractive by offering gym membership, or similar extras.

We don't pay for phone, language course, flights or travel on public transport. We do pay about 40% above the usual weekly pocket money rate though as we live a bit out of town so public transport is more expensive. If they don't have a phone that they can use for a PAYG then we have a spare, basic phone that they can use. There are some quite good PAYG deals around and most of the au pairs use the same provider so texts are free to their friends.

Our au pairs have usually wanted to go home when the season changes (so they can get warm clothes from home/return warm clothes), and for Christmas. I give two weeks paid holiday every six months.

I have no idea how much our shopping bill has changed because I don't track it, but none of our au pairs have been particularly fussy or wanted different food from us. Our current au pair is quite a big eater (very high energy person so he needs loads of calories), but this mostly means extra brown bread, milk and sliced cold meat which isn't hugely expensive. So he'll eat regular meals with us and then just make himself a sandwich when he's hungry.

I have comprehensive open drive on one of my cars, so anybody aged 25 or over holding a full EU license can drive it. I found that easier than having to update the policy when I changed au pair. It's quite expensive, but handy to have as other members of my family sometimes use my car too (it has a tow bar). When a new au pair arrives I give them a week or so to settle in and then book them a two hour driving lesson so that they can get used to the scarily narrow roads and unpredictable drivers here in Dublin. I always ask both the au pair and the instructor if they feel that more lessons are needed. The au pair is welcome to use the car if I don't need it (there is also a second family car available to me). They don't need to pay for diesel but do need to pay for their own parking, and are responsible for any parking fines etc while they are using the car.

As HappyDutchMummy has said if we are out and everybody is having a coffee or a meal then the au pair is included as a member of the family.

mobile phone? I give them a set amount of credit per month and provide a mobile if they need it.

Are you expected to pay for their flights home? No - unless I chose to give them notice.

How much holiday time (ie to go home) would they expect? I give 4 weeks per annum plus bank holidays which is paid and I ask that they take this during the children's school holidays. My APs always go home at Xmas and Easter and then finally for the Summer.

Roughly how much has you weekly food shopping bill increased by? Depends on what they eat and how much they eat! This can vary enormously with APs.

Are you expected to pay for a language course at college? No I don't. Some of my APs choose not to do a language course. Bear in mind if you have to get rid of an unsuitable AP you could end up losing the cost of a course if you pay.

Roughly how much does your car insurance cost to insure a european driver? Under 24's are very expensive and can be as much as over £1,000 more. It depends also on your car, area, APs age etc. Call your insurers for an indicative quote.

What else (other than food and board) are you expected to pay for? If we go out on a family day trip, we invite her and pay for her. This can be theme parks, restaurants, cinemas etc. Expect some general wear and tear around the house too. We also pay for a bus travel card. Bear in mind your utility bills will increase as your AP is likely to be in the house during the daytime.

As Jamie said the answer to most of your questions is that it is up to you. You can see different responses above and can figure out what is best for you. I do believe the package is dependent on your location, housework you expect her to do, number and age of your children.

I will put below my answers to your questions. A little bit of context: I have 1 DS who is 12 - so not much care needed. We live in Central London which is very attractive to au pairs who like going partying :). Housework is minimal - vacuum-cleaning, dishwasher loading/unloading and making tea for DS. 20-25 hours a week, weekends free, 2 evenings to babysit, sometimes one of the evenings fall over weekend. I pay 80 GBP. If I ask her to work longer hours or babysit more evenings, I pay extra.

If you provide a mobile phone are you expected to pay the bills? Or do you just set them up with a pay as you go which they fund themselves? I usually provide a mobile and sim card and top it up with 20 GBP when they arrive. I do not top it up monthly. My au pairs never asked to use landline, they all used skype. Couple of times when internet was down I told them they are welcome to use landline but they never did.

Are you expected to pay for their flights home? Simple answer is no.

How much holiday time (ie to go home) would they expect? When they arrive I say to them 4 weeks off plus bank holidays. They usually get more, since we often go on holidays and if they stay in London, I pay them anyway.

Roughly how much has you weekly food shopping bill increased by? It really depends on your au pair. Our current one maybe increased our bill by 20 GBP. The one before her liked nice food and our bill increased more/

Are you expected to pay for a language course at college? No, you are not but I pay first 200 GBP when they arrive.

Roughly how much does your car insurance cost to insure a european driver? If she is above 24 not much, if below then higher. I also pay for 2-3 lessons with instructor to ensure he signs her off for driving in UK :)

What else (other than food and board) are you expected to pay for? Really depends. I also buy oyster card and top it up with 20 GBP when they arrive. I let them use car for private use and fill in petrol (neither of them did use much though, since we live so centrally). I always give money as their birthday present, christmas present etc.

Hi, I'm a nanny and recently my employer had told me that I won't need to work during the Christmas holiday. However, she did not specify the dates and I was wondering what do you consider to me normal in this case? Would this include 23rd (when most people fly back home) or it would start from 24-25th? As well as is it normal to be a paid holiday? Since my salary is good enough, I get the feeling that things will be different.
I know I am supposed to ask, but it is kinda good to know in advance how things should be and what am I expected to do.

Sunshine best start a new thread but briefly this would generally be paid holiday and the size of your salary has nothing to do with this but check your contract, especially if you've used all your holiday allowance, before asking so you have an idea. Precise dates will vary - some will mean the school holiday, others the 24-26, others 24 dec - 2nd jan. Bear in mind there are bank holidays in there too.