How long to give a new position?

[fromunsureofswansea]

I started a new job 9 days ago (am an Ofsted registered nanny with 9y experience) and if I'm honest, I'm really unhappy

One of the parents works from home (something which was never even mentioned in the interview and I wouldn't have taken the job if I had known...probably sounds strange I know but it's one of the (very) few things that would make me turn down a job...just how I work tbh) and I didn;'t find out until the first day...undermined me infront of the kids...spoken down to me hugely and its that amongst other things (inc being told I can have milk for tea and bread other then that I need to bring anything else I want myself...but it's the way in which they said it iygwim) that have made me feel totally unwelcome...and like I'm intrudung

I KNOW (I really do) that this all sounds stupid but I genuinely am so unhappy there and I don't know how long to give it...or what to do

I don't think that sounds stupid at all.
Are you their first nanny?
It only works, with a nanny and a parent in the house if you both back each other up. Otherwise it's chaos.
I don't know how you could broach that with your employer.
You should also be having you lunch provided - but maybe they don't realise that if they're new to having nannies.
It's not great to have a very short emplyment on your cv, but if its only one in your employment history - I'd move on and find something else.

I'd leave immediately tbh. 9 days doesn't even need to be included on your CV, but if you stay for a few months and then leave you'll need to include it.

I find there is a 2 week itch, it happens around the 10 day point, though can happen earlier. I think it is once the realities of the job have hit home, you start thinking that you can't do it, don't want to do it, don't like it.

A parent working from home should have been discussed. Once you found out, did you then discuss how things would work so that you didn't get under each others feet too much?

Was food not discussed either?

It's not stupid at all, it sounds to me as though things did not get discussed prior to starting the job and still probably remain not talked about.

Are the parents new to having a nanny? Are they perhaps unsure about how things should work and therefore are not realising that it's little things that can make or break a job. Food on the grand scheme of things is quite small but can quickly become a major issue, if someone is working a 12 hour day without any breaks then in exchange for no breaks nanny often gets to eat with the children, eating the same as the children where practical. Whilst the parents may feel you should bring your own food to work and you may feel the same, the relationship between you and the parents needs to be such that you can talk about things without getting each others back up, not coming across as talking down to someone.

Can things change? If you don't feel able to discuss things with them, can you write to them/email? Not ideal but I've done that before... air the issues and propose solutions. Ultimately the parents want you to care for their children, they don't want you to leave. It may have taken them a long time to find a nanny, so they may not want to lose you but unless they know about issues then they can't fix them.

Thank you...I genuinely feel slightly relieved that I'm not being entirely stupid

Parents have had several nannies before now (4 or 5 in 3 years I believe) so it's not because they're new to this nanny lark

I sat and cried today...because I was so dreading going to work next week...I've worked for alot of families over the years and believe me they all had faults (As do I...who doesn't!) but I've never felt so unwelcome or so negative about work...and of course I've had days where I don't want to go to work or dread going but thats been because I want a lie in, am tired, it's cold or it's going to be a crazy day...not because of the family iygwim but I SO don't want to go next week...but I don't know if this is to soon to give up...I was unemplyed for 2 months due to lack of jobs and am worried about burning my bridges...

I wouldn't leave without telling them how you feel. I mean their behaviour is not great but if you give them a chance to pull their socks up, things may get better.

That's a lot of nannies in a short space of time. It's likely other people have had similar issues.

Not backing you up is a major problem. Even if they disagree with how you're doing something then they should let it go that time and talk about it later, unless you're putting a child in harms way but I'm assuming you weren't.

It doesn't sound like this relationship started well, let Alone it souring around the two week point, and you and this family are not right for each other. Better to accept that know and move on IMO.

I'm still awake because I'm dreading work next week...because I'm just fed up already...power I know what you mean about pulling their socks up but I think a big part of it is one parent working from home..I hate it really hate it...I think everyone has things they dont want to do or won't do or dislike and having a parent work from home is pretty much th only one for me...silly I know

Leave, life is too short and there are plenty of jobs out there and plenty of families. Trust me.

There are a few families who believe nannies don't deserve respect, I have been in one of those jobs and I nearly quit being a nanny.. a nice family then turned that opinion around.

Honestly, stand tall, and write if need be all the details down that you have said above... they should welcome you into your home, offer you more food and also should have said about working from home rather than what you have described.

Good luck with a new job hunt and leaving!

5 nannies in 3 years isn't good

Tbh some of it is your fault - as in you didn't ask/mention at interview the things that bug you

Ie I always ask if they ever work from
Home - I'm like you - don't want wahp unless they are somewhere away from you /kids - ie shed at end of garden - not in room next door to kitchen /playroom

It's not that I do anything different whether parent is there - but more the things that they do

Same with food. I always mention it and have written int contract I can have 3 meals and snacks /drinks throughout my working day - leant years ago when a friend did 7/7 and only allowed a sandwich at lunchtime

Under minding a nanny is the worst thing and they on. Have no respect for you :(

But that's hindsight - what I mention above - personally I would leave - you aren't happy and of you don't think things can change then leave now. You don't need to put on cv - tho if for job through agency they won't be happy as will need to find a new nanny asap or will have to return their fee

Life is too short to be unhappy in a job

I agree with blondes life is far too short to be unhappy in your job.

Either call them tonight and tell them it's not working for you and therefore you won't be in tomorrow (which is rather unfair but if you are being spoken down to that is unfair as well) or write a letter now stating that it's not working out for you and you are giving them your weeks notice and Friday will be your last working day, hand it to them when you are leaving tomorrow and hopefully they'll call/text and tell you that you don't need to go in on Tuesday.

Ring around the agencies and try to find temp work, even if you have to work away Monday to Friday, it's amazing how much you can put up with when you know it's only for a few weeks! And to be honest temp employers are so grateful for nanny for stepping into the breach that they'll do anything to keep you happy!

Please don't be unhappy.

Blondes-I completely agree, I shouldve mentioned it in the interview but because they didnt, I didn't even think of it. ..but I agree, some of it is my fault-you live and learn! !

Ive decided to give it until the end of the week before making a final decision. ..I'm just worried as it took 2m to find this job and I dont know how long itll take to find another

Though I think my mibd may be made up because when she texted ladt night...part of my was hoping tgey would say its not working out so we're letting you go...which is ridiculous I know!!!

Yes, it is as you obviously want to leave so why put yourself through another week of being unhappy?

Indeed we live and learn

I learnt a few years ago that sadly life is too short :( so if you are unhappy - which you are then hand in your notice

I know it's hard not being in work - but could you temp for a few months

Better a bad temp then a bad perm job

Or you could sit down and talk to them and see if things could improve - tho obv them working from home can't change - and if that is a deal breaker then .......

Hace told them I need to talk to them and wr're going to sit down on Friday. ..I basically told them I'm not happy and am leaving. ..theyre seriously unimpressed and running a guilt trip on me

But I feel better already. ..as long as I don't cave

I think about you and your dh from time to time blondes(am a nncing regular) I hope life is treating you kind x

well done for having the chat, its hard to give notice, but i think you have done the right thing :)

onwards and upwards and hope a nice job comes in asap, or if not hope temp work comes in

thank you about dh - been a rough few years :( but def things seem to be on the up, and in the end life is what you make it, and i intend to live it to the full :)

who are you btw, feel free if you want to message nc - so many people do it but i cant be arsed, everyone knows me as blondes, been that on mn for years lol