Would an au pair be the answer?

[Lys72]

Hello

I wondered if anyone could give me their thoughts or opinions.

I'm a single mum to a 13 year old girl. I have been widowed for 12 years and have pretty much only worked part time during that time. I'm thinking of going back to work full time (out from 8am until 6pm Mon to Fri)

I'm not keen on leaving my daughter alone after school every day or for all the school hols, although she technically no longer needs a babysitter as such and is quite self sufficient.

We live in a very rural village about 8 miles from Norwich in a very small 3 bed cottage and I only have a small box room available. I would be able to offer use of the car during the day, and there are regular buses into the city. Norwich is a bright and vibrant city with lots going on. As well as all food and board, family days out and stable home environment etc.

I would only need someone to be around after school and maybe cook tea. Occasional evening baby sitting (being here and watching tv). 8am -3pm would be free time.

We're very friendly and thought this could be a good opportunity for a language student and also, for my daughter to improve her languages too.

I am prepared to pay around £75 -£100 per week

Do you think this could work?

Sounds fan, what does dd think?

I think that it could work quite well, although you would need to have care with regards to the maturity of the applicant, so that they have enough authority over your 13 year old.

She thinks it sounds quite exciting. Would be company being an only child and she would particularly love a French speaker as loves French at school.

She's very grown up for her age.

I've never had any experience of au pairs or lodgers, but we're very laid back and have a wide social circle.

Was particularly worried about space issue. Small room, small house etc. there's not really anywhere to escape to.

Yes Branchingout, I thought about that. Although dd is fantastic. No trouble at all, funny, intelligent and great company. Has her moments with me obviously, but generally fab.

Where on earth and how does one go about selecting someone? What kind of qualifications do you ask for and are there Crimean record checks etc. sorry for complete ignorance :s

Oops criminal record checks

Well if you get a French AP they can apply for their own police check (cashier d'extrait judiciare). You should also ask for a first aid certificate and someone who has done the BAFA, because they're likely to have experience as a camp leader. The other thing to look at is scouting/guiding experience as they'll be used to exerting authority over 13yos in a fun way. That probably holds true for other nationalities but the BAFA is a specifically French youth work course that is easily available and quite a lot of people will have done it.

References are tricky unless you speak French but try their English teacher at school and then google translate for a job they've had.

Try website like greataupair and aupairworld. Be aware that at this time of year some people are 'managing out' crap APs already in the UK so probe carefully and ask for a reference. Be prepared for sob stories, some will be true, some refs will be spiteful but in general be careful if the host family says the AP is a dud and can give specific examples.

The hours sound really good and a 13yo should be fairly light work :) I wouldn't worry about space, especially if you get someone who is used to either living in an appartment or who shares a room with a sibling.

The only other thing to consider is whether you need a driver - the insurance can be prohibitive for younger APs.

I have an AP for my older kids (11 and 9) and in principle it works fine. In my case not so fine as our AP is crap and is shortly getting the boot, but in general I think having an AP is a good solution for after school childcare for this age group.

If you need her to drive, bear in mind that insurance for the under-25s is very very expensive. Even over 25 can be a lot. I had to get a second car for ours to do the school run in, so had to start a "new" (i.e. with no no claims bonus, as that is all on the policy for my own car) policy for her. Even though she has a clean licence and has had it for 7 years, it costs me £1000 a year for the insurance.

NomDeClavier and HomePigeon Thank you so much for the helpful advice. We're very lucky that we have some good French friends just up the road, so they will be able to help with admin etc

I might not have to provide a car - dd gets the bus to and from school and plenty of friends about if she missed it. Lots of regular buses into the city for AP during the day and about a 15 min cycle to the train station.

So all sounds good in theory :)