I have no choice financially but to leave one job :(

[ConfusedPixie]

I've been mucked around a bit with hours as charge gets used to nursery (or not as the case is), I realised a while ago that I couldn't afford one of my jobs any more but decided to stick it out until next summer at least in the hope that MB's work/health situation changed/got better and that hours would be more regular again. But I have since discovered that I just can't afford it any more. I am hoping to stay with the family as a holiday nanny (my other job is term time only with a couple of ad hoc days in holidays) and do some ad-hoc and babysitting with them but fucking hell I feel really awful at the moment about leaving them.

It's 4 hours one day a week and an extra 4 every second week. So it takes a huge chunk of time out of my day without scope for finding anything else.

I can't afford it and I know I need to leave because they can't give me the hours I need, but I don't want to leave. Has anybody else been in this situation? My options are:
a) stick it out until summer, financially leaving me no room to save anything or have any money for spending on anything apart from food and rent
b) drop the job, keep my newer, before/after school job (which I got to suit the job I now need to leave)
c) drop both jobs and my new ad-hoc/temp family and my previous employer who still uses me for ad-hoc and try for a full time one now that some seem to have appeared.

I called my local Tinies as they are brilliant and they've said that they'll be able to help me by keeping me in temping and babysitting until I find a new job (hopefully through them!) for one day a week as a full day or two part days.

I haven't told them yet, I plan to leave at Christmas and was going to say something today but boss is really not well atm and stressed and I don't want to add this to her stress. I don't think they'd be able to find another nanny and I was planning to go then as their free hours for nursery kick in in Jan so they wouldn't be left in the lurch and were planning to drop me to one afternoon then anyway, but now she's talking about dropping nursery days instead of adding them, not sending charge next week and dropped my afternoon next week too. Having just been dropped by my ad-hoc family this weekend for £160 that now makes a loss of £200 over the space of five days. Ad-hoc I can deal with the dropping (and expect it sometimes) as that's my 'spending money' but not my employed jobs.

If you want to keep the job and make more money I think the only option is a nanny-share. Could that work?

No, she doesn't want that, it's come up in convo many times unfortunately. Not recently though but I still don't think it'd happen. She wants to drop me to 4 hours on an afternoon come January, but I've now got an ad-hoc job that crops up on Friday afternoons (to suit her Friday mornings that she originally said she wanted me to do still) so I won't be able to pick up work on a Friday in case this ad-hoc family need me, and they are one that will give me a lot of work through holidays and weekends so I don't want to lose them to another nanny by becoming unavailable.

That all sounds very complicated. I'd actively look for something full time now and keen on what you can in the interim.

That's the tough side of nannying I think, as much as we want to give out families as much support as possible sometimes we do have to put ourselves first. Staying in the position you are in sounds like it really isn't viable financially and this could begin to make you resent the position and have a negative affect on the relationship. I think you need to perhaps have a fully open discussion with your employer/s and see if there is a way for you to work out a way you can stay either committing to doing 8-2 each day so you know you have afternoons free to find another part time position or vice versa or looking for a full time position elsewhere. You obviously care very much but it is a two way street and the job needs to benefit you as well.

I really don't want to have a full time as I must admit I get a bit bored with the one family I like the vast differences in my jobs (one autism based and one toddler) and also the fact that my before/after school one allows me to have the middle of the day free to do coursework and pursue my buisness, I have fatigue issues and having that middle bit of the day has been a previously unknown blessing. I'm so much more productive in my other areas of life.

pink that's it really, it doesn't benefit me any more. I have spoken at length and we ended up in a very emotional conversation last month about my hours and I said outright then that I might have to look elsewhere. They can't afford to up my hours (it's partially the money that made them reduce them in the first place) and charges nursery is morning only which is why she wants to keep the afternoon after Christmas.

I've been with them for two years and really wanted to keep going for longer. I just hope that they don't hate me when I tell them. I was hoping to ask for their daughter to be one of my bridesmaids, I absolutely adore her :(

I'm sure they won't hate you and there's no reason why you can't still be friendly with the family. If they already know the situation then they can't be too put out that you've made a decision in your best interests. All you can do is give plenty of notice and be honest about it. If you have time/availability and still want to offer ad hoc care then you won't be completely walking away and sounds as though you need to look after yourself a bit too, suffering fatigue can be brought on by too much mental stimulation and stress too so don't let the situation drag you down more than it needs too. Good luck working it out!

I don't think they'll be too impressed for a while tbh, MBoss is ill and really struggling at the moment. The stress of the money situation is really not helping my health so I'm desperately in need of looking after myself and finances is a start in that.

Thank you for replying. Just needed to get it out of my system as DP wasn't home and I hate talking to my mother. Moments like these where I wish I had a friend to moan to and hash things out with! MN does the trick!

It harsh but you need to think of yourself

They could turn round anytime and get rid of you

Look for a new job possibly fulltime as again tbh very hard to fill in odd hours if has before /after school job

See what is about and then if like a job talk to employers

Oh, I won't be going for another before/after school jobby, definitely not. I'll be going after one full day or two part days, two 5 hour days will be fine financially though I'd prefer 10+ hours a week just for saving purposes.

But originally was supposed to work between my before/after school job one day a week for this job I'm leaving and have Friday's off (which was the first change around) and that was perfect as it allowed me to have the day off to visit family for the extra day or temp for the day to make up money I had lost and it was something that fit in with my before/after school job.

Then she changed my hours to Friday for four hours (which is when we had a big, emotion fuelled discussion) and I then got a temp ad-hoc thing on a Friday evening and weekends which would bring in extra to suit my old job when she changed my hours. She then decided to change them again leaving me in a position of having two very good families/future references paying me a really good part time wage (something I wasn't able to get before with a lack of experience) and then also a good wage from her but she was changing hours leaving me unable to fill in the extra with other temping and having arranged temping and a job around her. She originally requested that I leave certain times of the week free "just-in-case" but I explained that I couldn't do that as much as I wanted too as I needed money.

It's a big palava basically. It has all gone up in the air since I started this new job and little one started nursery. Not anybody's fault particularly but none of it is working any more and now I'm faced with DP probably having to live away for a year and our wages having to cover two separate rents. I realised that I cannot afford to pay for the rent on my room alone in this situation, whereas before I could have stuck it out if he was here with me and try to get my business making a profit quicker and my ad-hoc stuff on a roll.

It doesn't sound like she's understanding your needs for income. She should be paying you for any contractual hours not worked. It does sound like you've been more than flexible but now its time to look after yourself. Start looking now, get new position in place and then give notice. Sometimes we just need to put ourselves first.