How old/ young was your baby when you went back to work?

[firstimer30s]

Considering going back 4 days a week when baby is 3 months old. Is this evil or has anyone gone back when they are this young? Was it ok??

Well I'd strongly urge you to look for a nanny or CM not day nursery if you can, because I think a baby so small needs a connection with a carer. I am very lucky and took DS to work from 12 weeks old, co-sleeping and b/f totally saved me from going loopy through sleep depravation though! Is your baby not born yet? You cannot tell how you will feel once baby arrives and you settle into motherhood. IMHO it's a terrible shame to have a baby and then pass their care so someone else for so much of the time, but obviously it depends on your circumstances.

I did 2 weeks work when DD was 4 months and really struggled with the lack of sleep - you might need to have a nap when you get home, or go to bed at 7pm with the baby!

I am convinced though that she was happy as long as she was fed, I think it will be harder for you than the baby.

OP, you will find all sorts of newspaper reports and research to support both arguments, for and against daycare for under 2 year olds.

FWIW, my DS went into a nursery which I thought was excellent. He has the loveliest manners and is G&T and I cannot see how being at nursery from 9 months has affected him adversely at all (none of that is a stealth boast, I'm just trying to point out that it didn't harm his development). He was there 3 days a week, I had him one day and DH had him one day.

However, I really didn't like the nursery local to us where we live now and I couldn't imagine putting 7mo DD in it. So we've gone with a highly recommended childminder for here who I'm really happy with. I'm working flexibly to have her one day a week (compressed hours, I'll still be full time) and my parents will have her one day a week.

It's each to their own. You need to trust your instinct when finding a childcare place for your DC and then it'll take a lot of worry off your mind.

Good luck

Four months, and work saved my sanity. Literally.

The research into the behavioural problems is not as simple as it seems, as we're not sure what the controls were. Other studies say the exact opposite, in some cases.

But small babies can be fine in nurseries if they have a cuddly, affectionate key worker who carries them around a lot and is very attentive to their needs, basically a sort of nanny share taking place within a nursery, to all intents and purposes.

Baby units where they are lined up all day in bouncy chairs supervised by bored teenagers fresh out of the local FE college is not a good situation.

So it depends on the nursery.

I was a childminder for 8 years until I had ds3 and the ages varied a lot for those parents. I had one who started with me on odd visits at 5 weeks old then properly from 7 weeks old (but had been going into the city with parents from couple of days old I think), 2 babies started with me at 8 weeks old and the rest ranged from 5 months old - 9 months old. I've had them start later but not usually mums just going back after ML. As a parent I didn't need to go back after ds1 as was made redundant, with ds2 I was back minding when he was 10 weeks old and now I have ds3 and he's coming up for 4 months old and unlikely to return to minding but that is more because of the situation at home.

For those babies who started with me at a younger age, there were a lot less problems with separation anxiety and they settled very quickly. From my pov as a parent when mine was very young, it was hard going with the lack of sleep but that's because ds2 wasn't an easy baby, ds3 is amazing and I'd cope differently I'm sure. So NO, it's not evil. If you want to do this and can cope then there is no reason you shouldn't :)

In nursery from 8 months. 4 full days per week, necessary because of my job.

She stayed there until she started reception. She thrived on it, I was happy with how the nursery communicated and worked with us (they fed and toilet trained her according to our methods).

It worked for us, although everyone's circumstances are different and we each have yo find the best solutions.

I went back at 14 weeks for a 2.5 days a week. This upped to 3 days a week when dd was 2. I felt evil, but my employer had taken me on when I was 3 months pregnant, so I felt obliged to go back as early as I could. I found it very easy to compartmentalise baby and work as I had great child care in the form of grandparents and a close family friend, all of whom added something to dd's upbringing. I gave up work when she was 4, after my 4th miscarriage, realising that I wasn't going to have any more babies and I needed to make the most of the time I had with my PFB (Only Born!). I also felt my job gave me little, other than money, and didn't really enhance my life greatly. I traded on Ebay for a while and then I gave that up and became a teaching assistant, a job I love beyond reason.

DD is 12 now. She is, I believe, a much more rounded child for having had a nursery experience from age 2. The time I spent with her, Mondays and Fridays, were Mummy and babyrabbits days and I loved them beyond measure. I still miss em now. I feel like I made the most of her childhood and I try really hard to remember how much fun we had together now she's in that awful pre-teen, know-it-all phase.

Do what feels right for you. Don't take too much notice of the press or what other people think. Half the time we penalise our kids if we don't set them an example by going straight back to work, the other half we penalise them by putting them in nurseries and ruining their chances in life. No-one knows what's right for your family but you. Good luck

Everyone went back at around 3 months when mine were little.
With dc1, I went back for a week (then had 6 weeks school Summer holiday, 'on holiday' as opposed to 'on maternity leave' when he was 5 weeks old).3 months for each of dc2 and dc 3
My dc went to CMs

Also meant to say: cosleeping made it all very possible (both extended breast feeding and going back to work at 3m but not feeling too bad)

Between 5 and 6 months
My choice both times
Both fine with it
Would your DP take some of your maternity leave, if that's what could work for you?

DD was 12 weeks when I went back to work full time. She was the darling of her nursery the first really little baby they had, had for a while. We still see some of the nursery nurses who cared for her.
She has grown into a happy, confident and outgoing girl.
It saved my sanity going back to work then. It also kept my career on track so when I ended up a lone parent I was in a good financial position.

My sister went back at 3 months as she lives in the US and that was the longest she was allowed to take. While she found it hard, I think she also quite liked being able to walk away and let someone else struggle with my dneph's terrible daytime sleeping (her words, not mine!). She did, however, have a fantastic nanny and also worked close to her home so she could go back at lunch at bf.

My DC is 6 months old and I would be fine if I had to go back to work part-time right now. In fact, I think the break from my DC would make me appreciate more the time we have together. As it is, I'm going back full-time at 8.5 months. I feel happy with that decision, not least because I've just found a lovely childminder who I think DC will be very happy with!