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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Au pair - What would be the minimum duration?

19 replies

Rattitude · 15/10/2013 18:48

The daughter of a French friend is considering being an au pair in the UK next summer. She may only be able to do three weeks though.

Is this too short a duration for her to be of any value to a family?

Thanks for your views on this, based on your experience as an au pair or as the 'client' family.

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NomDeClavier · 15/10/2013 18:57

I would say it's too short for the family to really find it helpful and possibly not long enough for her to really benefit from the experience although it may boost her language skills a bit. Families wanting help often want it for longer than 3 weeks and it takes time to help an AP settle in so it's a lot of investment for very little return.

It's possible that she might find someone who does want a very short stay extra pair of hands - possibly to help over a house move or the arrival of a new baby, but she would need to be able to muck in straight away which demands a certain level of fluency and a confidence than IME French learners of English rarely have.

Original poster

Rattitude · 15/10/2013 19:07

Thanks, NomDeClavier. It seemed a bit short to me too.

The girl's English is not too bad actually. She is obviously far from fluent though.

I have told her to look at Au Pair World, and to register with them anyway. She may be lucky and be able to fill in a short-term requirement...

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Mydelilah · 15/10/2013 19:15

I guess if someone needs holiday cover this might work, will likely be really hard to find a family looking for the same 3 weeks! (Needle and haystack spring to mind)

I can't really see the point of such a short stay though, what exactly will she or her host family get from 3 weeks? I only recruit APs who genuinely want to be a part of our family and experience living in the UK for a year. Any less and it's just upheaval for our family and the AP. Still, if she can stretch out to cover the full UK school summer holiday she may have some luck

Original poster

Rattitude · 15/10/2013 19:25

I think she is essentially hoping to improve her English (a bit) rather than getting a full exposure to the British way of life.

I understand she is restricted to three weeks only because she has a holiday planned with her Dad during part of the summer, and that is probably the last holiday they will spend together as she will be 18 by then.

By the way, does it help at all if she speaks other languages? She is bilingual (French and Spanish) and she also speaks Russian.

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Squiffyagain · 15/10/2013 20:34

Not a hope in hell.

Seriously. Not a hope.

YDdraigGoch · 15/10/2013 20:41

Agree, it's highly unlikely. She wants to find a family that is "friend of a friend" who'd be willing to put her up for a few weeks in return for some light housework, but as more of a favour rather than as an AP.
We've had daughters of French friends if French friends on that basis a few times.
(We've also had APs, and would never have taken one for 3 weeks - that's no time to get to know DCs).

MillyONaire · 15/10/2013 20:45

No - three weeks would work for me: a sahm who'd like a bit of reprieve from babysitting but does not want to share my house for any longer - but I've been an au pair and had au pairs and my time is done - I hope. However I'm sure there are parents out there who have covered all but 3 weeks of the summer holidays or ex pat parents who are home for 3 weeks hol but would do with help. My first time as an an au pair back in 1910 (or thereabouts it feels) I went for barely 4 weeks. I am still great friends with all the family...and the grandchildren too!

lovelynannytobe · 15/10/2013 21:35

Maybe an intensive language course would be a better solution? I host Spanish students each summer for 3 weeks. They live with us, we provide all the food and during the day they go to school and/or visit London. We take them out on Sundays as well. It seems to work well and we have been doing it for the last 6 years.

Original poster

Rattitude · 15/10/2013 22:26

Thanks to you all for your input. There are obviously mixed views but a strong message that for most people, three weeks is not enough.

I will relay this back to her. I suppose it will not do any harm if she 'advertises' herself nearer the time and see if any family is interesting.

Lovelynannytobe, you may be right that a language course might be better suited to her needs/objectives but I am not sure she (or her family) could afford the cost.

Thanks again!

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Ireallymustbemad · 15/10/2013 22:33

As someone who is self employed and usually manages during term time, summer holidays are trickier, I would potentially be interested in a short term arrangement. I wouldn't want anyone in my house long term though so wouldn't ordinarily consider an au pair.

My kids are older though (9 and 12 now) so need little supervision so I probably would just use it as a babysitting service for a couple of days a week. And if the au pair spoke the language my dc were learning that would be a great opportunity. Sadly DS1 got selected for german instead of French at secondary, otherwise I might have been interested.

Original poster

Rattitude · 15/10/2013 23:05

Thanks for your input, mustbemad. It is interesting to get the different perspectives.

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Ireallymustbemad · 15/10/2013 23:11

You've even had me looking at aupair world for a german person for next summer - not that DH knows I'm even considering it!!

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 15/10/2013 23:11

Could she not just stay with you?

My friend has just had an Au Pair for 3 weeks, bit of a long story, but basically she was being treated really badly by her host family, so myfriend took her in until she was due to go home for a holiday. She did a little bit of babysitting covering the time the nanny was due to go home and the parents getting home from late meetings etc Everyone was happy.

I think there are a lot of people who would find 3 weeks helpful in the holidays - she should definitely advertise on childcare.co.uk etc

If my place wasn't going to be full to the brim next summer I'd love to have her.

Original poster

Rattitude · 16/10/2013 00:03

Chipping, you seem lovely. However, I am French too, so that is not going to work as I feel phony (and funny!) speaking in English to another French person, unless their English is great.

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ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 16/10/2013 00:16

Oh - would you like to come and stay when things aren't quite so hectic?

That's a shame, but I am sure there would be other families for whom this would be perfect :)

Original poster

Rattitude · 16/10/2013 00:28

Chipping, it's a deal!

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YDdraigGoch · 16/10/2013 10:50

Agree that a language course might be a better option for her. We host foreign students each summer for an organisation called OISE. They come for 2 or 3 weeks at a time, and go to lessons all day. They live with us as part of the family. We provide breakfast, packed lunch and evening meal. I think the courses are quite pricey though, but could be worth looking into. All the students we have are between 14 and 18, and really enjoy themselves.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 16/10/2013 10:54

Original poster

Rattitude · 16/10/2013 17:46

Thanks, YDdraigGoch. I will recommend that she looks into OISE too.

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