Au pair, own room or sharing with child?

[Farala]

We live in a tiny flat in central London, with only two rooms (one bedroom and one living room which we use as second bedroom). For now it's just me and DD, but we want to bring an au pair and don't know what would work best, if to give her my room or to put her in DD's bedroom (in another single bed). Whatever the case, one of us would have to sleep with DD. Thoughts?

How big are the rooms & how old is the little now?

You can't expect an adult with limited childcare responsibilities to share with a young child with multiple waking, bed wetting, whatever. If she's 10 that's maybe okay, but how do you work DD's bedtime with letting the AP be an adult. On a night off she might stay out beyond 1am and unless you've explicitly stated that's not okay, she won't know.

I don't think many AP's would agree to sharing a room with a child to be honest.

With the limited hours AP's work, they have quite a bit of free time and mine have always enjoyed having their own space to chill, Skype and watch TV etc.

True! DD is 5, almost 6. She still wakes up sometimes and gets in my bed.

When I thought of putting them together, I was thinking it'd be easier for the AP in terms of dressing her up in the mornings, putting her to bed etc. But yes I think the girl would like some privacy / rest from us too!

Ah, I wish we lived in a bigger flat! Has anyone had the same problem?

Oh gosh. I don't think you can expect a grown (or semi-grown) person to share a room with a child. That's not reasonable .

Thanks for the tip, I think putting a tv in her room a great idea!

I really want her to be OK and this to work for everyone! I'll be starting a new full time job soon and am trying to arrange everyhing...

MacaYoni the girl is 17 and used to sharing with other 2 sisters.

Has she been to your flat?

I honestly can't see it being possible to have an Au Pair in such a tiny flat :(

I thought they were supposed to have their own room!
You'll have to share with DD, or get a live-out nanny. It sounds like you'll need more childcare than an AP is supposed to do.

I think you're going to have to give the AP the bedroom and you and DD use the living room bedroom. AP need their own living space ime. Maybe the size of the flat will be compensated by the location but it sounds a bit of a tight squeeze to me.

No, she hasn't seen the flat, but I sent her pictures and explained her the distribution. She is very excited about coming to London.

Re the hours, I had thought 2 hours in the mornings, 3 in the evenings, 5 days per week, plus two nights for babysitting... that's less than 35 hours per week I think, what is the usual? I feel a bit clueless, it's my first time hiring an aunpair, any advice would be of great help.

How much do live-out au pairs charge? What are their pros and cons?

sorry about the bad typing, Im using my phone

There's no such thing as a "live out au pair", the whole point of the relationship is that the au pair is part of your family, like a big brother/sister, who contributes various domestic tasks (childcare of a six yo for those hours would be fine) in return for a roof over the head and a bit of dosh, usually around £80 a week. And English lessons would be good, the reason they au pair is to improve their language skills.

actually I know a liv eout au pair, she came here to be with her boyfriend and the arrangement suits everyone, I doubt she is officially living with him though

So perhaps on a tourist visa, rather than a working one? So not really an au pair.

I totally understand the need for affordable chiildcare. I also totally understand the disquiet around "private" arrangements. But I don't think it's a good idea to get childcare on the cheap.

Even if this aupair is happy to share with your child, the next aupair may not be.

A live out unqualified nanny in London, 35 hours per week could easily be £250 a week.

I can't quite see how you could fit 4 of you go two rooms. During the day, when she plays with your child she'd effectively be in your room? If she stays up watching tv in the sitting soon you can't go to bed? You won't have any private space at all away from her will you? Part of it is that they're to share the family experience.

We have a small house and have ruled an au pair out. It does seem as ever if you have money you can save money!

Not sure it is 4 people Robots. Think it is the Op, her dd and the au pair.

She should have your room and you should share with DD.

What hours will she be working in the school holidays?

Ap HAS to have her own room

You share with dd

whatname she's either not living with the boyfriend (staying there, but not officially living there) or she's not an au pair. If you live-out you are not an au pair. Babysitter, mother's help, cleaner, PA maybe, not an au pair. If they're paying her 'pocket money' and not providing room and board they're breaking the law. If she lives out they're required to pay the minimum wage.

Au Pair absolutely needs her own room.

Could you not use breakfast/after school club? or a childminder? It doesn't sound like great living conditions for any of you.

she is here as an au pair, I think its an unofficial arrangement, they dont need her in night and she doesnt want to be there, so it works for both of them

What name - a nanny doesn't live in or want to live in but still gets around £13 gross per hour in London

Op- are you saying that you have no other rooms once you and dd are in one and au pair in another? Ie no living room etc. Where is the au pair supposed to entertain child after school? I think you should look into before and after school care tbh as doesn't sound like you have space.