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Kicking myself re new au pair - advice please!

58 replies

fistfullofnappies · 23/06/2006 19:25

Our au pair left today, and a new one is coming tomorrow. She is 17 years old (coming for the summer only). I've emailed with her, and talked to her on the phone, and she comes across as level-headed, conscientious and intelligent. She goes back to college in September.
Anyway, tonight, I phoned her to get the exact time that she will be arriving tomorrow, and got her mother, for the first time. Her mother was ever so nice, and then dropped into the conversation, that she had also booked a plane ticket, as the opportunity to have a weekend with her dd was too good to miss, and could I recommend a hotel near our house!!!
I was completely taken aback, and on the spur of the moment, said But of course, you must stay with us! Instincts of hospitality made it impossible for me to callously recommend the expensive hotel at the end of the road.
Suspect I am about to be had. Mother is now going to have the chance to inspect everything, and advise her dd to leave if all is not to her liking. If she is not a realistic person, there is a good chance that I will be without an au pair on Monday morning.

She may just want to see if I have a live in boyfriend who will assault her dd, or she may be an over-protective nutter who cannot let her dd get on with her life.

I am well pissed off and kicking myself for not thinking of a better reply. Does anyone have any ideas about handling this?
At the mo, my first idea is that they will both be on the plane home if I have any nonsense.

I once had an au pair with a nutty mother before, it all ended in tears. Coincidentally, they were from the same country, and I have a horrid feeling of deja vue.

OP posts:
fistfullofnappies · 04/07/2006 12:57

ks - yes they do, especially if they already have loads of friends in your town.
I try to find people who genuinely want to learn the language, then they are getting a lot out of the experience, and wont be looking for alternative jobs in a shop or restaurant.

The best APs for staying are people who came on a visa, and ended up with a shitty family, they are so happy to be treated like a human being and not worked dawn til dusk that they stay until their visa runs out!

OP posts:
SSSandy · 04/07/2006 13:00

ffon, glad it wasn't too bad and the au pair is settling in.

MrsRecycle · 05/07/2006 09:54

Agree FistFul - another one of my questions is "What do you intend to do in your spare time?" My dutch AP didn't get a job - she was here for the experience, to learn english and not for the money (if she'd wanted that she would have stayed back home where she could have got a job teaching).

staceym11 · 05/07/2006 10:57

sorry just gotta say to someone who said 17 yrs old is too young, i had my dd at 17, not too young imo. esp. if they are baby minded iyswim

doobydoo · 06/07/2006 12:07

Hi Fistfull
Glad it went ok and that you and the kids are sorted for the summer.Must be a huge relief

riab · 06/07/2006 12:52

it doesnt count as an invitation if you phone someone up and say that you are coming to their town, and can they recommend a hotel near their house!

sorry haven't read whole thread and you may well have sorted this now, but this doesn't sound like you were manovered into it! I think its perfectly normal to ask a local resident for recomendations for hotels, afterall in a strange country how can you be sure the hotle you pick online will be okay?
If you felt you HAD to ask her to stay, thats your giult issue not hers.

fistfullofnappies · 06/07/2006 17:57

oh god, riab, her dd is joining our household as a family member...see rest of thread

thank you dooby - Ill be going through the same thing in september!

Agree, 17 is not too young to be responsible

OP posts:
staceym11 · 06/07/2006 22:04

glad things went ok btw. good luck!

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