I HATE being an au pair.

[ddwah2]

Basically I have a fiancé back at home, the family are nice and all on that side is well. But I've been getting so depressed I've stopped eating, I don't sleep much anymore so I feel like a zombie, I just don't think it's benefiting any of us being here. How do I say "I call it quits" and do I give some notice. Bear in mind I'm only 3 weeks in, but like I said, I'm not eating, sleeping and I've been feeling more depressed.

Help fellow mothers?

So basically there isn't a legal definition (unless you're an A2 national) but even going on what the gov.uk site is passing off as a definition most of them are related to being a foreign national....

None of that really helps you, OP, in deciding what to do. I don't get the impression that you're going to walk out on them but neither do I think this is a goer for you so you need to talk to them, and accept that they'll be upset, but find a way forward.

I've given 3-4 weeks notice, thank you everyone. In the mean time I'm going home every weekend to see my fiancé and the family where ok with it, they understood, so all the pressure is off. Thank you everyone

Why on earth didn't you think this through before accepting the job?

5hrs away from friends and family really isn't that bad and you could travel home or meethalf way at weekends

there are times when I don't see my oh for a week as I work nights and he works days and never in the house at the same time - it happens - its work - we call each other - yes I miss him but it not forever and as I said its a job

If I were the family I would be annoyed

Glad you have handed your notice in and hope you think carefully before accepting another job

I think my comments are fair. OP appears to me to be wallowing in her own self pity without any consideration for the family who will have undoubtedly put a lot of time, effort, and cost into hiring her.

I wonder what their view is?

I agree with Strix. At the end of the day, you don't go waltzing into a childs life and then walk out within a few weeks, it's not fair on them. OP should have though it through properly. Leaving because staying would cause problems, fair enough, but leaving because you didn't think things through knowing that you had a partner at home.

FWIW it's how I got into nannying, taking an AP job in the UK, was more of a mother's help job anyway. I stayed with my family a year, which is what was intended from the start.

I don't think British people working in the UK can be classed as au pairs.

The classification of au pair doesn't exist any more though, so it is just a Home Childcarer, which can mean many things.

And it's not really even a childcarer. An "au pair" can be contracted to perform duties which are not childcare. She might be asked to do the family's laundry, or cook a meal for everyone, or a million other domestic duties.

I realise the matter is dabable, but I ind life in simpler, clearer, and everyone is happier if we write a contract and sign up to an emplyer/employee relationship.

It is obviously not everyone's cup of tea. But it works for me.

I also find that state of the art smart phone and posh gym membership go a long way to building a happy relationship. Apparently, all the other "au pairs" are jealous.