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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Do i need an Au Pair or is there something else i could do...

18 replies

littletikes · 19/06/2006 18:33

i have a ds1 of 2 1/2 and a dd2 of 1 1/2. My partner works away for long periods and i never know when he is comming home. All my friends have kids and can not help me out. No family. I have not been out in 3 years alone. i go through very low periods as my son has allergies and is has very difficult behaviour and i have to keep him away from certain situations. He is quite behaved at home but as soon as we go out its a nightmare. I can not take him anywhere we never have a good time. I cant go out weekends when all the activities are on because i can not handle his behaviour in front of even more people that do not work at weekends. (it is easier during the week). Summertime fairs etc are soon and i can not do it alone. I have tried. I need an au pair or something just to help say push one buggy whilst i teach him the dangers outside etc and get him use to new things. I feel that an au pair would be the cheapest option, she will never be alone with them as i do not work. We can not afford anything else. I need help mainly at weekends and holidays when there are so many people about.
Is there such a thing??

HELP!!!

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vix1 · 19/06/2006 18:46

Where abouts do you live?
If there is a college near to you, you could try advertising there for a childcare student, williing to help out at w.ends, and hollidays.
When I did my childcare course I did a term where I helped a mother during the week, as one of my placements for free. If you found someone to do this they may be happy to stay on to do weekends whilst at college for a bit of pocket money.
You could always try ringing your local Nanny agency, they may have sum1, or give you advice.

Original poster

littletikes · 19/06/2006 18:50

Wow thanks never thought of that. How much would i need to pay them though. The local nanny agencies do not deal with au pairs and were not very keen to talk about alternatives unless i wanted an au pair...

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Original poster

littletikes · 19/06/2006 18:50

fleet hampshire

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vix1 · 19/06/2006 19:01

It would depend, if you employ a proper nanny, you should pay tax and national insurance, but if a student then I would suggest about £5 to £6 an hour? Its also worth advertising in your local shops or paper. And you could try putting a free ad. on www.gumtree.co.uk (prob. under the section of Reading) or www.nannyselect.co.uk or www.nannyjob.co.uk is good and free. You'll be suprised about how many people have different circumstances, esp. if they are at college. You could even advertise in Basingstoke College. When I did my course i knew girls who came from your way!

Original poster

littletikes · 19/06/2006 19:22

Gosh. I think i will have to go down the line of the au pair. I cant afford anything else. She will only be £50 per week. i could spend that just in two days on a childmender.

Does anyone have a part time au pair.......

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vix1 · 19/06/2006 19:29

A student may accept less, try advertising your rate that you would like to pay, just to see if you get any interest. When I was at college I used to charge £3.50 an hour for babysitting, so you may get it cheaper.
Maybe an au pair will work out beter, she could help out during week aswell.

Original poster

littletikes · 19/06/2006 21:12

yes that what i thought. MOney is really tight but am so desperately needing help. Oh how i envy people who have their partner at home evenings and weekends and family close by. At least they can nip places or help with the other child.

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MrsRecycle · 20/06/2006 09:58

An AP should work 25 hours a week and I have never had an AP looking after my dds whilst they were as young as yours - I believe aged 3 and over is the recommendation. You may find it a struggle to get someone who wants to work mainly weekends as that's when they tend to socialise. For the holidays they like to go back home (trying to find an AP over the school holidays is near impossible) Also, you may find your location a problem. A lot of APs like to be close to a big-ish city.

Also, it's not just £50 a week - you have to factor extra food/drink/telephone calls/internet/etc into the cost. Also, in terms of input you can't just recruit an AP and expect her to help out immediately (especially with ds). There is a relationship that needs to built between the two of you.

I had a similar situation re DS with DD2 who was 3 at the time and a real handful (we couldn't eat out for fear of her screaming the room down). I recruited what I thought was a suitable AP who would follow our discipline style. Dh was off sick one day and I didn't tell her. He got woken up by AP having a screaming match with dd2. We sacked her. We learnt by our experience and the next AP was with us for over a year and followed our discipline style. DD2 actually said to her a few weeks after she had been with us "I'm so glad you don't shout at me like AP did". Broke my heart.

An AuPair is certainly not the cheapest/easiest option in terms of family time invested but it can be rewarding if it works well.

Bugsy2 · 20/06/2006 11:00

I'm a single mum & I have found an aupair has transformed my life. My children are older than yours & my aupair does have to do some childcare while I am out at work, but it is only a couple of hours a day.
However, from a babysitting perspective & just having another adult around the house, it is fantastic.
For what you want littletikes, I would say - GO FOR IT!!!!

Original poster

littletikes · 20/06/2006 15:52

Yes Bugsy2. I am not looking for an au pair that i can leave the children with. Maybe my first message was not clear. But only to work along side me and also help with house work. Then when i am more confident i wan hoping she could baby sit but i would put them to bed. So really she would just be watching telly. As mine rarely wake. I just need an extra pair of hands when i am out and in the school holidays is when all the activities are on. I have free broadband so that will not be a problem but will make it clear that there will not be any oversea phone clls unless urgent. My local calls are free too. That only leave food. We already spend a fortune on food and it normally gets wasted as the kids do not eat well. I am living like a single mum too so it will be company for me. If i could find one to share that would be even better for her. My location could be difficult but was going to join a family gym that she could go to.

Is it still a good idea mums or not??

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MrsRecycle · 20/06/2006 16:30

From my experience - they like to meet up with other APs. If they are not able to ring home and/or meet up with other APs then you will find them extremely homesick within a short space of time. Or the other side of the coin is that you will get someone who is desperate to get away from home and does not have the same family values as you (I speak from experience here). But as you have broadband, get a camera/speaker and they can chat away to their friends back home. It is important not too isolate them too much.

However, I can totally relate to the friend/extra pair of hands. It is nice having someone to chat to in the evening. However, I have had APs that did not want to do this and went straight to their rooms. So you need to make sure that you get someone who wants to be part of your family. As soon as I put "part of our family enriching our lives" on our profile/responses to applicants it's amazing how many didn't respond. You will find the self-recruitment process very time consuming but ultimately rewarding. Search this topic for my experiences/questions

Original poster

littletikes · 20/06/2006 18:46

Yes we have the camera and speaker. I havd lodgers for 7 years so i am sure it will be very simuliar.

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nannynick · 20/06/2006 21:12

How about a local teenager, as you say you mainly want help at weekends and during holiday periods.

I used to live in Fleet, Hampshire (still live quite locally) and when I was a teenager, especially over the summer following doing my GCSE's, I helped local parents with childcare (shared care & sole charge). While I may be a little unique... I expect teenagers these days still look for summer and out-of-school time work - I remember finding that babysitting was far better paid than delivering the local paper!

In Fleet highstreet, there is now only one place for private small-ads. Can't remember it's name, but it's near to Boots. Worth a try putting up a postcard ad there and see what you get. Would mean you could get someone live-out, rather than live-in like an au-pair.

Family Gym wise, I think the Hart Leisure centre still has a membership scheme.

Hope that's of some help. Nice to see someone local to me on here

nannynick · 20/06/2006 21:24

Another thought, have you tried contacting HomeStart? While I doubt they can provide someone to help out every weekend, all holidays etc... they do have volunteers who assist parents who have under5's. It's not as if you are wanting childcare... I see you as wanting help with current issues in your and your children's lives.

Could be something else to explore - also talk to Health Visitor about it, as they can referr you to HomeStart should it be required, and may also have other suggestions of help with regards to your sons behaviour and regarding children's food (if they are not eating well, and also how it can affect allergies and behaviour).

\link{http://www.homestart-nehants.org.uk/whoarewe.htm\HomeStart North East Hampshire}

PS. £50 a week, only gets you 5 hours of me! Though advise is always Free.

Original poster

littletikes · 21/06/2006 20:04

Thanks nannynick. Will investigate. Great advice.

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hovely · 22/06/2006 14:21

your ds will be 3 in a few months.. although it doesn't deal with your immediate concerns, could he go to a nursery or playgroup a couple of mornings a week? Our local authority pays for 5 free sessions a week from the term after 3rd birthday. It could be a breathing space for you to give dd some 1-1 as well, and help ds to learn to socialise?
I do appreciate that you think he is difficult when away from home, so it may not be straightforward, but maybe something to go along with the help you are looking for.
By the way, I always thought that a person who worked alongside the parents was called a 'mothers help' to distinguish her(or him) from a nanny or au pair. this might be the best description to use when advertising.

RnB · 22/06/2006 14:38

Message withdrawn

Original poster

littletikes · 24/06/2006 20:20

thank you hovely. I did not know it was called a mothers help. I will investigate further as i really need some help at weekends Yes he will be going to preschool. But this time without him will be spent rushing around doing all of my normal chores. I added up how many times i have been to various hospital this year it was 18 time so far. I go to the docs for repeat prescriptions 3 times a month (docs will not change my prescriptions to high quantities, I have allergy food shopping which is in various health food shops then normal shopping. So still not time for my dd2 :0(
Sorry to moan had a really bad afternoon.

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