Gut feeling about childminder....am i being silly?

[HelpMePleaseImConfused]

This is a bit unusual, but i am currently looking for a childminder for my baby ds. I thought we had it sorted with a childminder my dh had known since he was young himself, and she happened to have outstanding OFSTED report and fantastic parental reviews. On paper she is perfect. All was great until i met her.

I sound neurotic and i cant explain it, but upon meeting her, i just feel very uneasy around her and my gut feeling is telling me i don't want to leave him there. She can be slightly abrupt in her mannerisms and when speaking to her occasionally, but at the same time comes across as friendly and good with the children...but even when she is like this i sense an underlying feeling that i can't explain.

I thought maybe i was just nervous about leaving him with someone i essentially dont know, but i have been to visit nurseries and other childminders and i dont get the same uneasy feeling. The problem is, my inability to explain the feeling and to give a good reason for him not going there is annoying my husband who knows her and says he trusts her. This is particularly as i have not found another childminder or nursery with as good experience/recommendations/reviews/extra qualifications that she has.

Is there anything to be said for gut feeling when choosing childcare? Its not helping that i am normally quite an intuitive person, and am normally right with my first impressions about people. Only this time i dont know what is bothering me. Am i being silly?

The best nursery we have experience of doesn't have a great Ofsted report.
Definitely trust your gut. If your gut feeling is that its not the right childminder, it is almost certainly not the right childminder.

I think you should listen to your instinct, it could be that you have picked up something - even if its just a personality conflict, and remember if you do go with her you will need to work with her closely.

However...are you sure that its her you are having problems with- could it be that your husband has taken this very important decision about your baby's care out of your hands by suggesting you use her and its affecting your emotional response to this childminder?

I know I hate being rushed into decisions, especially when I don't feel a have a totally 'free choice'.... if I were in your position (and considering a mothers overwhelming need to protect and nurture) and I was being told whats best for my child then I think I might been having the same issues as you- ie doubt.

I removed my child from a childminder after a couple of trial sessions because of a gut feeling. On paper she was very good, and I felt a bit bad about it. But then about 8 years later she turned up on the front page of the local rag having driven drunk with some of her charges in the back of the car (had no sense of that at the time) so I must have sensed something!

FWIW I happily left the same child with a different childminder, so it wasn't childcare itself that was an issue.

Do NOT go against your gut feeling. Source child care elsewhere.

No, dont go with her, it wont work. You have to feel 100% happy, you have to completely trust and like her a lot.

You are an expert, you need to feel happy. I would say no dont do it. Let me know what you end up doing and Ill give you some tips if you want to go with her of what to do. Like turn up unexpectedly and things, just do it at the beginning then you have to let go if you do chose her. I dont think its a good Idea.
Forget Ofsted reports, they only care about paperwork and superficial stuff. Ask childminder if you can ring previous parents. Has she looked after children long term, thats a good sign.

Actually, sorry I forgot to add, its not about going with or not going with gut feeling. If you feel uneasy, how will it work. You could end up getting ill with worry all day. Then when you go to pick up your child you are going to feel awfull.
I do think childminders are better than nursery though. Its more one to one, it should be like home from home too. The childminder should be more like an aunty, children are taken out doing family type things so they learn about shopping and choosing things at supermarket etc.
I have had a few friends children who have done work placements in nurseries, I am not impressed with what they tell me about what goes on, gossip about the parents, young girls without experience.
Dont trust Ofsted and dont trust CRBs. Trust you.

I went against my gut with the first cm I chose, cm was a friend/client of my mother's so I let that override my feelings. A few months later, I had to leave as my baby hadn't settled there.

The next cm I chose interacted beautifully with my baby & my dd really took to her. the cm was quite quiet with me initially which made me a bit unsure but this was better after a couple more visits. Dd is so happy there, like one of the family.

Go with gut.

Well, I would say go with your instinct, too, if only because you need to have a trusting relationship with her.

I'm outstanding, as is DH. We are, of course, perfect and a shining example of exceptional childcare but I'd be the first to say we don't suit every parent. I would also agree don't go solely on Ofsted reports.

Don't ignore them entirely, though. I used to compile a report of recent Inspections and, although some comments were superficial, I did come across one or two that were shocking, with complaints from parents about quite serious incidents:
A nursery with 6 hygiene complaints upheld (filthy toilets, dirty children); a childminder accused of using pinching as a disciplinary method. You need to at least check the reports for complaints and use them as input to your overall impression.

Thank you all, some of your experiences are really interesting and have definately helped me make my decision. I have decided i wont be using her and am really happy with my decision. I also met another childminder who i really really like today, so am trying to get him in there, fingers crossed. It is so true that you know when you havr found the right one.

Thanks Tanith for you advice, will definately give the report a good read

Another vote for gut feeling. I know of a fellow CM who had outstanding and she was dreadful to her kids (laughed at one when he bit the inside of his cheek for example)

Another one I know was rated Good yet she has had numerous complaints against her.

Go with your gut. If it does not feel right, don't do it.

The CM I chose for my son was a bit ditsy, house was a bit untidy, her child played up a bit - but she was LOVELY and my baby boy adored her and she him. The previous one I mistakenly selected was ok - house was pristine, Ofsted report was good, and she felt only OK to me - not great.

Go with your gut!