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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

AIBU not want to pay in advance for a childminder

21 replies

TreeHuggerMum1 · 31/07/2013 23:34

I'm due to go back to work on Monday after 4 years off and I thought I had everything sorted for 3 little darlings.
Found out today that the childminder I have booked and been dealing with for weeks now wants £400 in advance as she wants monthly payments in advance.
I'm so unsure what to do. I really don't have the sort of money lying around and I'm not happy she's left it til now to spring this on me and my husband.
I've used c/m's before and never had this.
Any advice???

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Picturesinthefirelight · 31/07/2013 23:35

Monthly in advance is normal for childminders & nurseries. It's so patents can't leave without paying their bills.

gintastic · 31/07/2013 23:35

Every childcare I've ever used (2x CM; 2x nursery) is a month in advance. However, it was made clear well in advance that this was the case. Do you have a contract with her? Check the small print.

fuckwittery · 31/07/2013 23:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JustCallMeMaam · 31/07/2013 23:37

Mine was always paid in arrears - happy as long as she got her cheque on day 1-2 of the new month.

Original poster

TreeHuggerMum1 · 31/07/2013 23:42

With 3 other c/m's I've always paid weekly in arrears and assumed that's what everyone in Devon does.
Today she gave me the contract to sign and it was in the small print, and that was when I questioned it. I knew nothing until then, I'm gutted. I won't be able to pay it so have lost out on a CM and now buggered for child care for my youngest.

OP posts:

Smilehappy · 31/07/2013 23:56

I have had x3 childminders and two demanded payment in advance, to then x2 phoned in sick etc and losing out on my childcare and pre paid money! I swiftly let them go! 3rd childminder was paid weekly in arrears, IMO they provide a service you then pay, you don't hire a window cleaner and pay in advance, you don't hire a domestic cleaner and pay in advance, you don't go to a restaurant and pay in advance, WHEN YOU WORK YOU ARE NOT PAID IN ADVANCE!
so I don't think they deserve to be paid in advance, they get what they work.

I'm a bit snippy about it due to being bumped out of pre paid childcare and would never pre pay again, if they want to work with me and look after my kids not only will I comply with their expectations but they should comply with mines

If your childminder really needs the work she may agree, talk to her and if it doesn't work out then just move on, what else can you do? That's a lot of money to expect from someone who has not worked in many years with young children,

I'm not a b!tch... Honest

nannynick · 31/07/2013 23:57

Could you offer to pay something up front? Could a friend or relative lend you the money? Could you get a bank loan - a job offer letter may be enough to convince your bank with whom you have been a customer for a number of years, to lend you the money at a reasonable interest rate.

It's a shame payment procedures were not mentioned until this stage. CM is trying to prevent bad debt, they may well have had parents leave in the past owing money. Paying in advance is not unusual in my view.

It can be a catch-22 situation when starting work though alas - you get a job but can't get childcare because you have not got the money to pay for the childcare until your wages come from the job.

Forresitters · 01/08/2013 00:22

It is common for childminders to be paid monthly or weekly in advance just like most nurseries. Usually a deposit is paid if payment is not made in advance. This is to secure your child's place and so the childminder is not out of pocket if you decide to leave and not make payment especially if they have turned business away.
When my daughter attended private nursery I had to pay 2 weeks deposit plus advance monthly payment.

As a childminder myself, I do request that either a refundable deposit or monthly advance payment is made depending on when your child is due to start. I previously allowed parents to pay in arrears but stopped this when I had continuous late payments and had to give notice to one parent in particular due to this. I am still owed over £1000 and have learnt my lesson and vowed to only take advance payments as no one can afford to work for free!
I do think your CM should have sat down and gone through everything with you clearly though as I do this with all prospective parents so they fully understand and don't think that it's just a way for CM's to try and make quick money!
I haven't had a day off sick in 16 months of minding and I do not charge for sick days so this would be reimbursed to parents. I also haven't taken any holiday in 9 months because I try to work with my families so we can all take time off together and everyone is relatively happy!

Talk to your CM. I'm sure if you explain your circumstances and offer to pay a deposit or weekly fees in advance etc you can both come to an arrangement.

moogy1a · 01/08/2013 06:59

smile unfortunately, many CM's are also a bit "snippy" about the issue of many many parents terminating contracts and not paying what is due. Taking a month's fee up front covers us for this.
All nurseries that I know of also do this and many other services. ie. paying a deposit for wedding flowers ( as a random example!)

HSMMaCM · 01/08/2013 08:06

I charge in advance, but I make it perfectly clear from the outset. I also ask for a deposit on booking.

Sorry, but I have heard too many stories of people leaving without paying. Think of it like a hotel booking ????

LingDiLong · 01/08/2013 09:19

Yep, as others said payment in advance is the standard thing for childminders/nurseries. She should have let you know sooner though.

What CAN you afford to give her up front? Would she agree to weekly in advance or the first two weeks in advance until you get your first full pay packet? It's worth asking.

I did start out allowing people to pay weekly in arrears but got sick of continually chasing people for payment - a process I hate going through and that's really damaging to my relationship with the families I work with as everyone ends up fed up with each other.

brightonbythesea · 01/08/2013 09:47

I pay my CM monthly in advance, however, when I first went back to work she let me pay weekly in advance for the first month, as she knew I was waiting until my first pay packet. If you ask her she might be fine with that.

Chopsypie · 01/08/2013 09:53

I pay weekly in arrears but paid 2 weeks advance to hold their place

MaryPoppinsBag · 01/08/2013 10:51

I allowed one family to pay weekly in arrears. When I gave a months notice because of the behaviour if their child. They fucked off onto the sunset and I lost a months money. Luckily for me I had had that weeks money but they owed me £600 in lost wages for the following month. They even had the audacity to ask for their £50 deposit back when they were I. Breach of contract.
Won't do it again!

I have a few September starters who is happy to pay up front. Any missed days will be reimbursed/ knocked off the flowing months pay.

Surely any reasonable person can see why we do it?

aliceinapalace · 01/08/2013 10:58

It is also worth bearing in mind that the childminder will be paying out for things for your child during that first month I.e. snacks, activities

LingDiLong · 01/08/2013 11:01

Yes, MaryPoppins and alice make good points - I don't charge if I'm off sick and always offer to reimburse the parents there and then or knock it off the next invoice. And we DO incur costs straight away. Having just done my tax return, the costs are quite scary - food & drink, outings, art materials etc etc

Tanith · 01/08/2013 11:20

Blame the many, many parents who have taken the proverbial in the past. We can't afford to work for free.

I used to trust parents and accept payment in arrears once I was sure of them. Then one family disappeared, leaving an unpaid bill of hundreds of pounds. I was devastated because I loved the kids and never thought this family would let me down.

Never again!

Every single childminder I know has had similar payment issues at one time or another. It's a sad fact of life that even the nicest parent can turn where money is involved.

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/08/2013 11:53

it does seem weird that cm/nursery get paid a month in advance as nannies dont

yes we could work for a family for a week/month and then not get paid, but guess trust has to come into a bit

op - maybe talk to the cm and offer to pay weekly for the first month till you have some wages coming in

LingDiLong · 01/08/2013 11:59

Well, like Alice points out there are expenses laid out by childminders and I guess there aren't with Nannies?

Picturesinthefirelight · 01/08/2013 12:07

Nannies are employees and therefore it's usual for employees to be paid in arrears.

Nurseries & childminders are businesses providing a service. It's the sane as private schools, ballet classes etc. fees are due in advance for all these things usually.

minderjinx · 01/08/2013 12:10

I think the difference is that with childminding you are usually paying for a combination of goods and services. You wouldn't expect to take food from a shop and pay at the end of the month, or go to the theatre and pay later for the performance. As others have said, the childminder will usually be putting food on the table, fuel in the car, paying for outings and materials, all up front. If a parent is a bad payer, they will not just have lost payment for their own time, but also for a lot of costs, unlike most employees.

I think willingness to pay a deposit and payment in advance is also some measure of how "committed" some parents are to the proposed arrangement - otherwise there are those (thankfully few) who would sign up all over the place and not think about how much disappointment and disruption will result when they let people down.

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