Au Pair Advice

[LittleBok]

we are about to start the search for an au pair having never done it before, we at the moment use nursery and a nanny. My eldest will start school in September so I think an au pair would help me with the school pick up problem I will have as I work full time. My question to you out there is a general pros and cons if you have an au pair and where best to find one as I guess choosing wisely is key!

Look at www.aupairworld.net.

Think really carefully what you want them to do - write a list (that will seem long)

Work out what pocket money you'll give them, what will be in their room, etc

Will they need to drive?

Are there other perks - gym,use of car in personal time, help with language lessons etc

What about days off and holidays?

How long do you want them to stay?

How good does their English need to be?

Hope you get the idea. Happy to answer more questions if it'll help.

Little Bok ; I like the idea of an au pair personally as I feel they give the wrap around care that is so useful with childcare. I'm in same boat as you, just about to begin my search.
Do you mind me also asking other experienced aupair users, do you need to pay for the English course, and would they expect access to a computer, or do they bring one with them?
Silly questions, but I'm just thinking of how an aupair would occupy herself whilst she was alone during the day.

Also in terms of heating in the winter, I'm just thinking ahead. Since an aupair might be at home all day, could you discuss heating with them without being mean. I know, for example when we're home we hold out and only put it on if it's really cold.
Any ideas welcome

Childcareisscary - I would explain how/when you use the heating and recommend she buys thick dressing gown, slippers, etc. Perhaps buy a thick duvet and extra blanket for colder evenings.

We also put in on only when it's really cold.

I dont pay for English courses and she has her own laptop, wouldnt let her use our family computer - not to be mean but laptops/tablets are cheap enough today.

Very useful, thanks so much. We live in a small village so my only concern is for school / nursery runs she would have to drive and this seems to be limiting my search. We have a little run around car for her to use. The other thing I've noticed is how young they are!!! My little one is only just going to be 2yrs when they start and I can honestly say I am not sure I was ready at 19 for that experience!

I need to get over that part though as I know some mums who have complete gems and are so lively and helpful because they are young.

good tip on the English course, our local college does offer some courses. We have wi-fi so hope they bring their own computer.

One thing we have noticed since having a part time nanny is our lights and TV are often left on all day (not her bill so why would she turn them off) and in the winter she put the heating on all day which we had to ask her not to and just wear more layers!! Harsh but our bills were doubled!

I'm ready to start the search but need to shake off this massive guilt that someone foreign is going to take my 4yr old to his new school and pick him up and it's not me! The woes of working mums, I could write a book about it!

Sorry last thing, is it really okay to employ someone that you have only interviewed over Skype!?!?! This part makes me nervous...

hi
I have had a couple of interviews via Skype to be honest a lot of people are doing it this way now.

Thank you verap, I felt so mean even asking that question, but I do without due to cost, so was quite nervous about this. Littlebok, I hear your guilt. My DS is going to school for first time and I feel I should be there for all the milestones, but hopefully it will be a positive change.

I have had au pairs years ago, and have returned to that now.

I am on my second Spannish au pair. Both are over 20. Both doing online courses (distance learning), which keeps them pretty occupied during the day.

It is really nice not worrying about travel delays when commuting (no childminder/nursery pick up deadline to meet).

I presume your 2 year old will still be going to Nursery? (I ask this as woman round the corner had a 17 year old au pair looking after her 2 year old for over 40 hours a week - and she was expected to clean and do the school run on top of that!).

They can be very variable on how good they are at English, cooking or cleaning. tbh I expect very little cleaning from any of my au pairs, and treat it as a bonus when they run a hoover round.

We got our first au pair through an agency. Then our first au pair found our second one for us!

The need for your aupair to drive will narrow down your list of aupairs. You might want to check out how much it would be to put the aupair on your insurance. The young ones might be prohibitive so you would want to look for someone older.

Bear in mind if she is from the EU she would be used to driving on the other side of the road, so you would should book her on a few lessons when she arrives or at least get in the car with her first to check her competence.

If you work fulltime out of the house, I would try to go for someone whose English is not basic. She will need to understand you if you give instructions over the phone.

Work out how many hours a week you need her for, by doing a timetable detailing what tasks she has to do and over which block of time. My timetable is divided into different hours of the day and is very prescriptive. My aupairs refer to it religiously. It helps because they don?t have to take it all in at once and can slowly get used to the rhythms of your household. Also, working ft, you don?t have time for a long induction period. I spend at most 2 days on induction before they fly solo. However, with a driving aupair, I think you would want to make sure she is steady with a car and your children first.

Our au pairs need to drive so we on;y have them 22 or over - cost of insurance is prohibitive otherwise. We pay for 2 driving lessons to help them adjust and then plan lifts for school runs etc for another week to give them chance to practice. Friends are willing to help out short term as they know a fully functioning au pair will return the favour! And no matter how desperate, we NEVER let them drive DC til they've driven me or DH and we are totally happy.

Also, I think you need a reasonable level of English or your DC might find it hard

I have a list of house rules and tasks that I can email if you want to send me a PM with your address

Hello BerkshireMum, I am about to go down this route too, really useful reading this thread.

I am just about to go back to full-time work - youngest is 12 so pretty independent but I feel in need of backup.Would it be possible to also get a copy of your list?? Will PM you later.

No problem alimac87. Haven't seen a PM yet. My DCs a nearly10 and nearly 12. It's had it's ups and downs but generally works really well. Everyone's lists will vary but it's a starting point.

Have sent you one Berkshiremum. Really useful to know about your approach to settling them in.

This is really interesting. Can I ask how much people normally expect of an au pair?

We have 2 DC - 6 & 8. My main need is to have school pick up done, evening meal, laundry (about 3 loads a week) and general tidy up - dishwasher packed & emptied.

We can do drop offs in the morning, and I would quite like to have homework started, but appreciate language difficulties.

Does this sound too much? How much would you pay for this?

Also, what do people do about the evenings? Do au pairs normally join you, stay in their room, or sit in another room? We have 3 receptions, so room isn't really an issue (although we don't have anything as fancy as an annex).