not been CM Long need advice (two years)

[Peachyjustpeachy]

I have two small mindees one is one and one is two and i have just taken on a three year old.

the two youngest are a dream, really kind to each other and play well, but this new child is well... the opposite!
any time they are playing nicely she will barge in and ruin a game, she then blames the other child for it.

she waits until one of them is asleep then stands next to them and yells in thier ear at the top of her voice.

i've treid all the usual, thats not how we behave and i've tried time out. the two littlest are sleeping right now and i've put her in time out in the cot for pouring water all over the little ones head. she's kicking off royally and i'm at the end of my teather.

thing is... this is only the first week! she is wonderful on her own, but cannot mix with the others.

should i perservere?
should i give her parent notice?

I really wouldnt want my dd to be screaming in the cot, but withdrawing from her seems to be the only effective discipline.

but i keep asking myself... this looks terrible.

With both little one's asleep that seems the perfect time to do something with her on her own, something more age appropriate which you would not do with the younger children.

Like the younger children, she needs some quiet time. She won't nap I guess, so you need to look at doing things to help keep her calm and not get up to mischief, such as reading her a story, building a train track together, doing cooking together, play-dough, some activity which has small pieces which you would not get out with the 1 year old around. You may also do some more energetic things after her rest period such as dancing, running in the garden, helping hang out the washing (they love to help carry things and sort out the pegs).

Is she an only child?

great ideas. i've had her all week. Monday and Tuesday when she was on her own, there were no issues at all. Lovely child, played well , engaging, active. she did have a sleep that day, but the dad complained when i told him and hes told me to keep her awake.

Wednesday i had a little one who is only crawling and every time i turned my gaze away from the new one, the little one would get a dig or a poke or took a toy away, generally mean stuff. she terrorized the pets too.

today i turned to help the two year old and the three year old poured a bucked of freezing water on the little one. she totally refuses quiet time... making as much noise as she can to disrupt the others.

I just don't think its fair on the little ones. Really, i would expect this behavior from someone with brothers and sisters (because they can be really mean to each other) but she is an only child.

I have mentioned that the child is having trouble settling in and the dad just said that both he and his wife were stubborn so its no surprise the child is stubborn too.

but it seems more... deliberately causing anguish.

plus... if she is kicking off and stopping the little ones resting/quiet time... then surely i'm rewarding her bad behavior by having one-to -one time?

The baby was sobbing tired - from being constantly provoked by this new child... my heart broke for her

id give her notice. ..

I would give notice. Do you have a settling in period?

i have a two week settling in period, she did all day friday, with the others and was a handful, but i put that down to being her first day

monday and tuesday were fabulous

wednesday deteriorated

thursday (today) was awful!

she is here for half a day tomorrow, with the other two little ones.

she will be with me all next week too.

then she goes to three days a week. unfortuantely its the three days that the little ones are here.

BUT it school holidays coming up and the littlest is tto. we will have lots of bigger kids here at the same time as her, so it isnt likely to be so bad in a couple of weeks time.

I just feel like i'm letting the mum down because she has just started a new job

Not very nice for the little ones, they are effectively being bullied. I would not be happy as their parents to know this was going on.

You either need to find a way to control the 3 year old & stop her impacting the others or if you can't, give notice.