boundaries

[Peachyjustpeachy]

hi,

I'm a CM and fairly new to it. this is only my second summer holidays.

Now in order to fill my places, I've done a special rate which is 1/3 of my usual daily rate.

Now the problem i have is that i'm quite friendly with some of the mums, and they are happy to send their kids here, but their faces fall or they moan about the expense when i mention money, although none of them have failed to pay so far

It makes me feel bad, like i'm abusing the friendship.... when in fact... its them who are expecting something for nothing.

it makes me feel so sad

Difficult to mix friendship and business. You are doing this professionally so they have to cough up or go elsewhere.

Thats your income, you can't do it for free. Don't feel bad. If you worked for a business you wouldn't feel bad if your employer complained about overheads and staff costs. Nod smile and say you understand, we all have bills to pay.

I have a friend that I am minding for and she is scrupulous about paying me. Never late, never quibbles, tells me I'm worth every penny. Mind you, she'd looked into taking on a nanny and was amazed at how much cheaper we worked out

Hope you pick up soon and don't have to rely on cheapskates like these - they're the ones abusing your friendship, not you.

thank you... i just needed verification that i was right.

these are all people who i have met when they orignally asked me to CM for them, so its not even as if we were friends first.

I hate being hard though

poor you - I assumed they were already friends - even worse that they are people you have met since childminding = what a cheek!!

tbh, I think you are doing yourself a disservice - why are you under charging? if it was your sister or someone then maybe but for people who aren't even real friends, why? they know they are on to a good thing and they see you as a push over it seems - do they think if they whine and beg you will eventually give in and do it for free?

it depends how much you need the work but if it were me, I would write a letter/email to all - letting them know that your current terms are no longer working for you, you are undercharging and have decided to put up your rate. also point out that they may be able to get help from WFTC (bet some of them do already - and if they don't, well they earn enough to pay their own childcare....) and give them the option of either new contracts or going elsewhere.

you will feel better for it - you need parents like that.

Childminders are worth their weight in gold! We could not function as a family without ours and whilst paying for childcare is an expensive business I would never moan about it to our childminder- think that is a bit off to be honest. Don't really understand why you have reduced your rates when you have the same expenses and are looking after them in the same way? Think you need to have more confidence in what you are offering these families and they need to be a bit more appreciative!

my last post should say 'dont need parents like that' lol

thanks for all the responses.

I reduced my rate in the summer holidays so that i could compete with the local holiday club, because I NEED the money! and i'd rather mind 4 kids than 1!

Does that make me a bit mad?