If you were expecting number three and already had four and two year old and could afford £2000 of help what would you get?

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Do I want a maternity nurse for two weeks or equivalent spread out so I get some sleep?

Or a specialist baby nursery nurse to help out a few hours a day so I can spend time with older two?

Or an au pair for six months to help generally?

Or a childminder for older two so I can bond with the baby?

Or something else?

We are in a similar situation (although I'm already pregnant with number three )
We have decided to go down the mother's help/nanny route and I'm actually in the process of advertising the job now.

Hyper - I have advertised on Gumtree and Nannyjob.co.uk - so far had a bigger (and better) response from Gumtree.

For us, it's the long list of jobs that have to get done after the DC are asleep because I never manage to get them done during the day (laundry, putting clothes away, cleaning, cooking meals for us, ironing) that means both DH and I are exhausted, go to bed too late and so the cycle continues. DC1 is even at pre-school 4 mornings a week and I still struggle.

I think having an extra pair of hands to get all those things done more quickly is going to be most helpful. Also I want to be able to have some time with DC rather than always doing the chores, so the emphasis is on mother's help rather than nanny.

I was fortunate enough to have a maternity nurse for 6 weeks with DC1 and although the MN was lovely and not pushy or bossy in anyway, we found it very difficult having someone live-in with us. DC1 was not in night time routine by the time the MN left either (but possibly because she wasn't with us long enough) Although she is a now much better sleeper than her younger sibling.

Maybe dont worry about it until you're actually pregnant.... what is it with people trying to make childcare arrangrments before the kids even been concieved or is past embryo stage

Many.people manage very well with 3 or more without having to get paid help... Just see how things go.

Just looked again at your age gap - a lot will change in that timescale, your eldest should be in pre school/nursery, you could put your youngest with a cm or something...

Or you could even put off dc3 until you are not so stressed by the thought of it. Its meant to be enjoyable!!

Sorry just seen this as was out yesterday - tbh op if not even pregnant yet then don't worry about what help you may or not need till you are preg - may take you ages to conceive so ages may be totally different hence so will you needs - both may be at school for example

Soothe pat is a bit like The baby whisperer method - tho think all
Books have some methods to a certain degree

shh pat is roughly swaddle, sit, and shh pat rather then letting them cry so that babies don't get very distressed

When dc shows sleep signs or it is nearing their sleep time if in a rough routine (hopefully) dim the lights, etc to set stage, swaddle, the sit with dc w/out moving or noise for at least 5 min until totally relaxed. Then put down. If dc fusses then either rub/pat tummy and say shush shush

Or to pat their back (obv as baby will sleeping on back) so need to tilt on their side so can pat their back and as above - pat and shush

some books advise to pick up over shoulder and say shh while patting the upper middle back but i prefer not to pick up unless have to as can get into habits of keep picking up at every noise and baby then expects cuddles etc

This method does work - better on under 6mths and personally i think better on under 3mths - I usually start mn position when baby is 3 weeks or so - no point any earlier so the shush pat works well with this age

Why does baby wake? Hungry? Habit? Make sure has enough milk during the day. Give a dream feed at say 10/11 and try the pat shush method

Hope this helps :)

Thanks ReetPetit but I like planning. Plus I only want dc3 if I think we can find a way to make a family of five work for us.

Well clearly at the moment you can't, as you are having to save to afford childcare and you are already assuming you wont be able to manage 3...

You can't plan for everything op.

my dses were 4 and 2 when dd was born. ds1 was in half day school nursery class, grandparents picked him up 2 days a week; ds2 had 2 days in nursery. We both work ft (obv I had mat leave). we didn't need other help. If your older dc aren't already getting some time with a childminder or nursery, cinsider a couple if mornings worth. at 4yo your eldest should have a free 15hr nursery place anyway or be at school. Try not to over think it til you are, umm, nearer the position? (easier said than done, agreed)

Hi, I work as a mat nurse/night nanny and would like to think I'm not bossy or interfering!