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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Child care

28 replies

Nat2828 · 02/06/2013 03:46

I have a child minder who looks after my three children Mondays, Thursdays Fridays , Saturdays and Sundays .. On signing the contract it states that she would have my children hours to suit Rota, weekends and bank holidays.. My job is non contracted hours but an example of my rota is;

Monday, thurs , fri, 7am start. So I take my children to the childminder for 6.30am already dressed and had b/fast.. So all she had to do is take my daughter to nursery for 7.30am and my boys at 8.15am. At 3.30 she collects my boys provides dinner and activities .. She collects my daughter from nursery at 6pm and provides the same... I finish work about 8-9pm.

Sat/sun 6.30 start childminder has all three children. and I finish work 8-9pm..

Tues and weds are my days off

Before having a childminder my children attended an after school club and breakfast club however the childminder insisted I give this up and she would provide an all Inclusive fee during school term and holidays.!!!!

Day one the child minder complained that one if my children is very lively and constantly on the go from morning till evening .. Before a contract was signed I explained to the child minder that my lil boy is hyperactive and is currently seeing a peaditrition, so she was well aware if this situation . Day two .. The child minder wanted to put my children in another form of child care for that day expenses in her., so I felt she was trying to get rid of them .. Day three the child minder states on giving her my rota for the following week VIA TEXT MESSAGE AT 1am ( and I have work at 6.30am the same day)"" looking at your shift for next week, I am sorry I can not cope with the work hours. I am totally exhausted. I can not do this.
Weekdays I can manage, but the weekend hours will finally kill me off.
I understand the reason why you have to do it, but I am too tired and exhausted to cope with the working hours. I am so knackered right now, that I don't want to get up in the morning.
I feel very bad right now, I hate letting people down, but I physically can't cope with your working hours. I apologise for this turn of events. I am very sorry to have let you down.
As a gesture of goodwill, I am willing to forgo my fees for the past three days work. The fees that should have been paid to me will be waived for you to regard it as compensation.
I am so sorry Natasha, I really wanted to help you. Your hours just overwhelmed me. Please forgive me.

I now feel lost and don't no where to stand. I have only just started this job so I am on a probation period and if my child care falls through it could cause me to lose my job.. Please help any advice on what action I could take.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Tanith · 02/06/2013 06:57

The action you take is to find alternative childcare.

You are still in the settling in stage where both parties

Tanith · 02/06/2013 07:00

... Get to know each other and decide if they can work together. Your childminder has given it a go and is unfortunately unable to continue.

What action did you envisage?

EleanorHandbasket · 02/06/2013 07:08

6.30am until 9pm?

Crikey.

CM was perhaps a bit naive and eager, is she new to CMing? There is no way I woudl take those hours on, the impact on my own family/other mindees would be horrendous.

Did she have a settling in period written into the contract? I believe it's standard on the NCMA ones. She is perfectly within her rights to terminate the contract.

I'm very sorry but I think those hours are going to very hard to cover. Could you employ a live in Nanny? For three DC it might end up more cost effective anyway, and you'd be more likely to find someone suitable who could do the hours.

Best of luck.

CreatureRetorts · 02/06/2013 07:13

Those are mental hours for anyone. Do you have a DH who could help? Can't he step in for the evenings?

Pendipidy · 02/06/2013 07:58

Poor kids! When do you ever see them ? Surely a nanny would be better. Better still, look after them yourself and go on benefits, if that is the only option. I really think those children would be better off poorer with a parent they see.

dancemom · 02/06/2013 08:02

Your children are out of the home 6.30am until 9pm five days of the week??

When do they sleep?

NarkyNamechanger · 02/06/2013 08:09

Blimey I don't blame her for saying its too much.

I would put money on your son being hyperactive due to chronic sleep deprivation.

forevergreek · 02/06/2013 08:16

I think a live in nanny also. For 3 children and long hours it must work out cheaper. I would still put youngest in nursery in the mornings though to give nanny a break say 9-12 as 6am-9pm is very long hours even for nanny. Most dont usually work weekends.

You will probably get a live in nanny for £600 net for those hours and weekend cover ( most charge more on weekends but maybe ok with x2 weekdays free) .

A live out would probably work out more expensive as would charge per hour, maybe time and half/ double at weekends and long hours. Probably £12 net per hour min for long, inconvient hours ( as no chance of a life in evenings or meeting people at weekends when most others are free)

forevergreek · 02/06/2013 08:22

And yes, a nanny could maybe help with hyperactive issues as likely to be from lack of sleep. I don know how old all the children are but I'm guessing they must not get to sleep until at least 10pm and up 5.30 ish for time to get ready and breakfast etc.. That's not really enough time. A nanny could get them in bed in the evening when needed and let them sleep in later.

apotomak · 02/06/2013 08:25

OMG! These working hours and days are just crazy. Your kids hardly see you. And physically for you it's too much as you say. I don't think it's time to look for another childcarer ... it's time to change the job .... and quick. No money is worth this sort of sacrifice. Think about your kids and you first and make sure you're both comfortable with working hours and days as these are really unfair on your children.

lechatnoir · 02/06/2013 08:27

I can only assume she's either new and naive or desperate for work because nothing would persuade me to take that on & I'd be staggered if you find another cm to do it. 3 kids arriving at 6:30 (having had breakfast & dressed - what in earth time do u all get up?!) and not leaving until 9pm is totally absurd - I don't even look after my own DC that long, your children must be absolutely shattered.

I would seriously consider either getting a new job or live-in au pair (or nanny & drop the nursery place) so at least they can get up & go to bed at a reasonable hour.

forevergreek · 02/06/2013 08:29

Is there any chance you can work from hOme also in this job? As if you could work 6-8am at home whilst they slept, then 8-9 break to drop at nursery/ school, then pick all up 5/6pm from clubs/ nursery. And work a few hours in the evening once they are asleep. Still long hours for you but not so long for children

BoysAreLikeDogs · 02/06/2013 08:37

I have worked weekends in the past, 7 to 7 sat and sun. It's killing.

I think your CM has done the right thing by calling a halt, yes she bit off more than she can chew, no CM I know would be mad enough to agree those hours on the first place.

What action to take? You find alternative care. Or a diff job

NomDeClavier · 02/06/2013 10:55

With those hours I'm guessing it's medical based work. 12/13 hour shifts aren't uncommon.

I think giving up the nursery place and getting a live in nanny or keeping it and having an au pair (although I doubt they would cope with a hyperactive child or full weekends) is your best bet. Contact a nanny agency to find a temp who can help you next week.

forevergreek · 02/06/2013 11:43

Yes but 13 hr shift means 15 hr shift for nanny with commute. Most do around 12 hrs live in, hence the probable need for a bit of daytime childcare also in form of school/ morning nursery also to bring down the total time full on with children for nanny to 12 ish. Will be more at weekends.

Basically need 15hrs of childcare x5 days. 75hrs a week. Very long hours so I doubt less than £12 net to compensate. Approx £15 gross. £1,125 a week approx for a live out nanny. A few hundred less for live in, but higher than above estimate I would think. Maybe £800 live in.

Probably still cheaper than childminder who I'm guessing is £5-7 per child per hour, and prob more for unsocialble hours and days.

In perspective a weekend nanny in central London is around £350 for the weekend only. Normal hours

What's your rough budget?

NatashaBee · 02/06/2013 12:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nannynick · 02/06/2013 12:21

On signing the contract it states that she would have my children hours to suit Rota, weekends and bank holidays.

In my view there are not many childminders who would agree to that. The working hours are unpredictable and could be rather long, especially at weekends and school/nursery holidays. 6.30am-9pm is a long time and she tried it... it has not worked out.

So what do you do now? Well, you could stick with this childminder for the weekdays, though I would wonder what happens if school/nursery is closed as then the 6.30am-9pm situation could occur.
Try to find other people to cover the weekend but it is very long hours, so will be hard. Given you have 3 children, care at your home may be a viable option, as nannies are paid per family rather than per child.

Could you make a flexible working request to work to have working hours that fit with what childcare you can find? Not all employers will accommodate it but some might be able to fix shifts such that they are weekday rather than weekend.

Could their father care for them some weekends? Could other relatives help?

Suzycb · 02/06/2013 12:26

Oh dear, this is exhausting for everyone involve! Your DH can spend weekends with them and arrange for nanny so that they can remain in their own environment. Both my child's parent work until very late two days of the week and they've arranged for a babysitter to pick her up from mine @ 6.30pm. This arrangement, she gets to be in her own home, her own bed and her routine not too destructed b'cos those two days change.
Plan your arrangement with your other half & best childcare suited as this is very important.

NomDeClavier · 02/06/2013 12:38

Not arguing it wouldn't be a long day for a nanny, just questioning the WFH suggestion made downthread. Any kind of care at 75hrs/week isn't going to come cheap. You may even need 2 nannies - a 3 day one and a weekend one.

StatisticallyChallenged · 02/06/2013 13:17

Those are crazy hours - DH is a CM and has just agreed to take on a littlie who will need some late finishes/relatively early starts and one day weekends. However we decided it would probably doable because a: it's only one child who will have the longer hours, b: it will probably only be two lates (until 9:30) per week and one day at the weekend and c: she's only 11 months so she will still nap and we will be putting her down to bed at a reasonable time in the evening then mum will just transfer her to the buggy.

We definitely wouldn't do it with 3 older children who will still be up and needing entertained (and probably knackered) until 9pm or later - I think it would be far to much

Original poster

Nat2828 · 02/06/2013 16:34

Yes I am a respiratory nurse so I have to work 12 hour shifts however it is only mon thurs fri sat Sunday .. I see my children Tuesdays and Wednesdays and Sundays .. My daughter goes to full time nursery 7.30 am till 6pm and y boys are in full time education .. It's not a job I want to give up to say that I've studied and worked so hard to get here .. So as for the comments get a new job .. im sure your aware that nurses now days are not being hired as much due to the resession and cut backs . so walking out of my job would be ridiculous.. And as for going on benefits. ive worked to hard to get here and have not and will not eva claim state benefits .. i believe its needed for people who actually struggle ...My children are my life and I want them .. to see me as a good role model and have ambition .. For everyone who stated a live in nanny thank you it was actually something I Neva considered but will do ..

OP posts:

nannynick · 02/06/2013 16:53

Are you also a single mum, as you do not refer to your partner having any childcare responsibility. Being a working single mum doing 12 hour shifts is very tough going. Bad enough for those who do have partners who help out with childcare. So you are doing fantastically well with or without help from the children's father.

A live-in nanny does sound like a possible solution, though you need to have the space and want to have someone sharing your home. So not without it's own problems. Have a look through the message threads on here about nannies, some are about live-in nannies, others about live-out but will still be useful as they will help give an idea of what a nanny does and will not do.

Original poster

Nat2828 · 02/06/2013 17:24

Thank you

OP posts:

Original poster

Nat2828 · 02/06/2013 17:27

I am a single mother my husband died 4 years ago

OP posts:

CreatureRetorts · 02/06/2013 18:33

Sorry to hear that. My heart goes out to you as it must e do tough! I hope you can find a live in nanny as sounds a great solution for you.

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