Advice about baby getting ready to be with childminder

[Helsbelscm]

Have already posted this elsewhere but it was suggested I put it here for further suggestions.....
I am starting to worry about my back to work plans. DD now 4.5 months I start when sheis 6 months. She will go 2 days a week to a childminder & 1.5 days will be with my MIL.
Currently she is EBF and is refusing all bottles I try for her. She is also a crap mapper & generally takes 4 1/2 hr naps a day but needs to take them in her sling if at home (she will nap in car or pram if out and about). She also has no routine as did decide to try to start one this week but she then decided to suddenly change her normal wakeful/sleepy times and so my original plan now bears no relationship to current timings.
I would not be worried about any of this if the plan was for me to stay home with her for longer but I a, really starting to worry how CM/MIL will manage. Do I need to make some big changes before work starts? Any thoughts on how?

I am a cm and I think you'll find she will get her own routine when she starts. Are you doing any settling in sessions? They may help you feel better about it?

Not doing much in terms of settling in. I have 2 hours the week before I start work.

I like to settle babies in slowly over a few weeks if poss, maybe see if this is possible? Are you leaving her with mil much before?

Whatever changes you make, you can make them gradually you have two months. Start with timing how long your baby is awake before she needs another nap. My guess is at that age, 1.5 hours. Try to make that two hours of wake up time by the time she is 6 months old. Make note of what time she woke up, and it will give a good indication as to when the childminder has to put her down for the first nap. We all have our methods, but I tend to put the baby down and hush, and put gentle pressure on the stomach and or stroke the head gently. It would be difficult for a childminder I think to go out in car / buggy every time your DD needs a nap - so it would be much better to try to get her to fall asleep without the motion. Personally, I do carry babies in slings if needed but looking after babies and toddlers is very hard on your back so I try to do it for short periods at a time.

You could try to see if she would be happy in a little bouncer chair for 5 minutes at a time, and increase to ten minutes after a few days.

I also find that it is helpful if a baby has a reassuring teddy/blanket from home that they sleep with all the time, it does provide them with a bit of reassurance.

As for bottles, it is very difficult as many babies will have the same reaction as your DD. Would you like her to move on to formula when she starts or will it be expressed BM? If I was you I would try one type of bottle and offer it at the same time every day, and ask your partner/friend to give her the bottle. Not you, as she will be expecting to be BF. Warm the teat by spashing a little bit of boiled water on it, it might help. Stick with it. But most childminders will find a way to make sure that a baby gets the milk, even if it means spoon feeding or from a beaker. For me what worked with one little boy was to hold him very close to me with a blanket over his head, it is strange, but it did help him feel more secure I think.

I know that I have managed to 'train' babies to fall asleep in a cot at my house, but the parents couldn't do it at home... We all have our different methods, and hopefully your childminder will have a lot of experience with babies. Good luck!

Oh yes, I meant to say, some books say to give a bottle at bedtime, in my experience that is not necessarely the best. Babies can get very cranky and cluster feed from 7 pm, and can get more upset/cry more and it's not the best time to try and give a bottle when clearly they want BF. I would be more tempted to try mid morning ish, or even first feed of the day. Just my opinion, I am no expert...

I can't advise on the bottles but I think it would help if you found out your childminder s routine and tried to follow that.

Thanks for the ideas. I have already started with a special cuddly toy & some special music for nap & bedtimes. Glad to hear these are sensible plans! Will keep trying the cot but am wondering if you think buggy in the hallway might also be ok? Before her 4 month sleep regression she would sleep in the pram in the hallway if I pushed it up and down a bit- would this be ok for CM? She seems very motion addicted for daytime naps (although not for night sleep). Will keep trying without but what mostly happens is that she just won't go to sleep at all.

I would think so, but the childminder might ask you written permission for your baby to sleep in the pram. I know it sounds a bit OTT, but prams are not as safe as cots and it's something I do, I have a short policy about it and ask parents for their written permission. We all do this differently though, so your CM might not ask for written permission if you just tell her it should be OK.

have you explained how she is to the cm? I assume your mil knows? does she seem worried?

i have had babies who are rocked/breast fed/walked around by their parents to get them to sleep - i don't do these things as a cm with other mindees to care for. It takes time for them to adjust but eventually they do.

The best thing you could do to help your dd and the cm/mil is to get her used to not being rocked/carried to sleep and try and encourage her to take a bottle - perhaps from mil and you dh.

the sleep/comfort toy is a good idea as cm can take that wherever she goes - music maybe less of a good idea as it's setting the cm to always be stuck indoors for naps which she may not want to be tied to.

try and talk to your cm about your worries - find out about her routine, times of groups etc. I think you will find your dd will change a lot between now and then and when she does start she will naturally fall into the cms routine. The more relaxed you are, the more she will be too.

I would suggest a slightly longer settling period - not too long, maybe a few sessions over a week, but each cm runs their business diffferently. it's a good idea to leave her with mil as much as possible though between now and then.