Searching for an au pair has made me realise that I'm horribly judgemental

[happydutchmummy]

Oh, it's so horrible I can hardly admit it to myself, but I figure if I post it online then I'm going to have to confront my issues. Feel free to give me an Internet bashing!

I am looking for a summer au pair to help out 3 days a week with one toddler. It's quite a nice position and I seem to be getting lots of requests. This means I'm having to be quite harsh to filter out applications, so I only spend time replying to the best ones.

But It turns out I'm horribly judgemental. And it's difficult to be confronted with the fact that out of 70 applications I've only accepted the possibility of thin, predominantly white girls.

What is shocking is that I never considered myself racist, I have a mixed race child! Or fattist but it turns out I discriminate on weight as well.

I am shocked at myself.

Ah well at least you've realised. Now you can do something about it can't you. Assuming that you want to, of course.

I don't understand. Did you choose them from the photos dependant on race or did you decide based on other factors and they all turned out to be white?

Really? Ooh, it turns out I'm a bit racist, who knew! awful..... or is this not real?

Talk some more about what has happened....

Are you saying that all the best candidates were in fact white and slim?

Or that you deliberately discounted all the rest to start with?

I can see how you would end up with a "European emphasis" if you said stuff like Excellent command of English and French, preferably also Swedish (as me and husband are a Swedish / French couple living in Britain), and favour somebody with a sporty outlook to run around with your kids.

Sort of.