Childminders Club: How do I say this to parent?

[looneytune]

Further to the thread about forward facing car seats, I have a problem I need help with.

I started with new baby yesterday and she arrived in a forward facing car seat. When we signed contracts, mum mentioned probably changing to forward facing seat and I said something about her being too young etc. and she came back with it being one of those you can have rear facing to start with then move to foward facing (so I presumed she wasn't going to put her forward facing yet). I made it perfectly clear she would be in my rear facing car seat until her weight was enough to move her.

She arrived yesterday in forward facing seat. She's only just 7 months old and weighs approx 14 lbs.

What do I say to the parents? It's not safe for her to be transported this way and I really don't want to interfere but I can't ignore it either.

Any idea's?

Explain the safety aspect of this, the child may not be safe in an accident, there is advice on www.mothercare.com about this if she's unsure

Loonytune I'm a CM and I used childminders for 6 years and I would not of expected one of my CM to interfere in this way. It's your responsibility that while ever the child is in the care that you use the correct seats and ensure the child is safe when with you. You could mention it in conversation but I would not make a big deal of it.

Are you 100% sure about her weight? DS was in a second stage car seat by about 7m on the basis of his weight (he used to get bad wind in the smaller one, but was fine in the bigger one). Mind you, if it's one that can swap round, then the size will be the same either way won't it?

it is the weight of the baby that determins whether the child should be in a rear or forward facing car seat

No size will not be same either way - we had a forward/backward one for DS and it definitely stated that it should only be used forwards once the stated weight (9kg) was reached.

TBH I don't think there is much you can do though.

Maybe I should just leave it then? It's just that I used to mind an 18 month old who was transported on a booster seat (the type without the back), in the front of the car, with the seatbelt but the long bit behind him (so acting as a lap belt) and I never said anything and another childminder said I should have reported it to the police. I never did (just couldn't go that far!) and I had to let him go for other reasons anyway. I felt bad for the boy but I'm not the interferring sort and just didn't know how to handle it.

Since then I've been told it's our job to make sure kids are safe with or without us and that this sort of thing could be classed as neglect as far as child protection goes and therefore I should do/say something.

I'm just not sure what to do now but I wanted to explain why I was thinking about saying something.

Does that make sense?

BTW, I don't know her offical weight but she's very light so I sat her on my home scales yesterday, fully dressed with wet nappy, and it reg'd 14 lbs exactly.

Well, at least I said something at the beginning about it so it's not like I haven't raised awareness. Think I'll just leave it now.

Thanks for the advice! :)

If you are still unsure may I suggest that you ring your Childminding Co-ordinator at your local Early Years Centre and maybe she can advise you further

I've had issues in the past and phoned her and she was extremely helpful.

Cheers Saz - was thinking about doing that, just find it hard getting hold of her!! Will keep trying though :)

Well looneytune that is about 2/3 weight of what she should be so I think you can safely say that she is well under. I think it is a difficult one.

Looneytune,can you just leave the parent to do her own thing re the car seat and put it in your car rear facing till shes heavy enough to face forward.
I agree it's the parents decision(even if the wrong one)but as a cm you have a duty to transport the child properly in your car.Could it affect your insurance in an accident.or you could use one of your own car seats if you have a spare one?

Have you thought about getting some leaflets about it. Have you asked if there is a reason why the child is in a forward one already as she is small?

Its really difficult isnt it. On one hand the standards state that you should act in the interests of the child at all times. So you cant just ignore it but at the same time its difficult to get involved.

What about just an informal comment e.g. sounding surprised like you've just noticed 'Ooh, is she heavy enough to be in that car seat already? Gosh, she's growing fast isn't she?' The parents may not realise the weight factor and need it pointed out in a friendly way or that car seat may say it is suitable for her weight.

Either way, talk of shopping them to the police doesn't sound like a good way of building close links with the parents or in the best interests of the child !

this is a tough one.
I think in this situation I would find out how far your responsibility should go. If you speak to your childcare co-ordinator or even Ofsted, then fi they say it is your responsibility to tell the parent, then you can explain that to the parent. Letting them know that Ofsted or the CIS have made it clear to childminders that you have a responsibility to inform the parent.

I would definitly use whichever is the correct seat in your car.
Saying that, I have parents who occassionally turn up to collect their child in a car with no booster seats for their child, and i have never felt i should tell them how to look after their child.

Can you use big bad ofsted as an excuse and say "we are not allowed to carry children in forward facing until x, y, z"

i did this with a mum who was preparing milk incorrectly. Rather than me tell her she was wrong I said Ofsted say we have to have milk prepared in this way blah blah

Im soft like you!

But as I understand it looneytune will be transporting her in her own backward facing one when she is with her. Looneytune is concerned about the child in the parent's car.

I have a parent who regularly brings her child to me in car seat not appropriate to her age, so I have put a leaflet about the new seatbelt/carseat laws in every mindees diary. Cos I have given everyone one I hope she will not think I am 'picking' on her, just letting everyone know the law.
Although you are concerned I agree that you can only inform parents in general what to do then it's up to them I am afraid. I know a childminder who regularly gave mindees parents 'her opinion'about different things eg food they should/should not have, car seats they should use, weaning and she became known as a 'busy body' and prospective parents were put off her by her mindees parents because of her interferring.

I am not saying you are interferring in this way, but on all of the occasions she gave 'her advice' she only had her mindees safetly/health in mind but it lost her a lot of business so you so have to be careful how far you get involved.

I have a parent who regularly brings her child to me in car seat not appropriate to her age, so I have put a leaflet about the new seatbelt/carseat laws in every mindees diary. Cos I have given everyone one I hope she will not think I am 'picking' on her, just letting everyone know the law.
Although you are concerned I agree that you can only inform parents in general what to do then it's up to them I am afraid. I know a childminder who regularly gave mindees parents 'her opinion'about different things eg food they should/should not have, car seats they should use, weaning and she became known as a 'busy body' and prospective parents were put off her by her mindees parents because of her interferring.

I am not saying you are interferring in this way, but on all of the occasions she gave 'her advice' she only had her mindees safetly/health in mind but it lost her a lot of business so you so have to be careful how far you get involved.

I have a parent who regularly brings her child to me in car seat not appropriate to her age, so I have put a leaflet about the new seatbelt/carseat laws in every mindees diary. Cos I have given everyone one I hope she will not think I am 'picking' on her, just letting everyone know the law.
Although you are concerned I agree that you can only inform parents in general what to do then it's up to them I am afraid. I know a childminder who regularly gave mindees parents 'her opinion'about different things eg food they should/should not have, car seats they should use, weaning and she became known as a 'busy body' and prospective parents were put off her by her mindees parents because of her interferring.

I am not saying you are interferring in this way, but on all of the occasions she gave 'her advice' she only had her mindees safetly/health in mind but it lost her a lot of business so you so have to be careful how far you get involved.

Feelingold - you have soooooo written that the way I feel. I don't want to interfere and if I'm to be totally honest, I love my ds to bits and want him to be safe at all times HOWEVER the thought of a childminder having him and then making comments which make me feel like a bad mother makes me feel funny. It would totally put me off using a childminder!!!!

As a few of you have said, I've made my comment already so what else can I do! And I feel much better because my Early Years Co-Ordinator says exactly the same!!!

I'm not the interferring busy body type

Phew, problem sorted :)

Thanks everyone for your advice/comments, sorry I can't reply to each of you but got kids to mind and all that