Au pair settling in

[LadyHarrietdeSpook]

Hi everyone
I am thinking about having our au pair for next year come over and do a settling in period with our current au pair before she goes. The purpose is not for it to be completely a trial period - although it would give us a shot at correcting a major mistake in time to hire someone else. For various reasons, we've really struggled this year.

The main reason for doing it is that this is the first year that the au pair hasn't worked alongside a nanny initially and I think a period of time getting used to the set up with our old au pair in situ plus some extra time with us when she comes back in September could be a good combo. We have a gap over the summer with no au pair.

My question is for people who have done this before is would you say this is a fairly conventional thing to do or do I need to worry about getting the current au pair's agreement, as such, to do it? I don't think it's likely she'd mind.

Would two days with the au pair during the day and two weekend days with us be okay do you think?

I prefer to do the settling in myself, to show the highest level of expectations from the outset. Do you mean you've had problems this year with the au pair who would be assisting/instructing the new one?

I typically have current au pair available for a private chat with new au pair candidates when they come for an interview, so the applicants get a good/real sense of the position, the family, etc. And I think it shows that you're relaxed and know you've done right by the au pair that you will encourage them to chat privately. Also this often leads the then-current au pair to give me an inside look at the applicants - as she had her own feeling about the candidates and insights based on their questions (ie one asked genuine questions about the children themselves, while the other was more interested in perks, days off etc (which are obviously legitimate questions to ask, but...)

Could you ask the new au pair to come a week early and take time off to help her settle in/get the routine? I know it'll be slightly different routine than sept, but you can point that out.

Hi,

I am assuming you need your new au pair to hit the ground running in September and that is why you are doing the trial this early. Is that right? It makes perfect sense to me to do what you're planning, if the school drop off/pick ups etc are going to be the same in September. She can come over this spring, see what her job will entail, meet you all, get some time to chat to your current au pair about the job, and possibly even meet some local au pairs, win -win situation in my view.

I would tell the current au pair what you are planning to do and ask her view on it of course. But as you say I can't see why she would mind.

And two days with current au pair and a weekend with the rest of you is fine in my view.

(Having said all that we have never done a direct handover from one au pair to the next but that is because I don't work in August so I normally get an au pair to start at the end of August (by which time the old au pair is gone), show her the ropes, spend couple of days with her at home and couple of days once the school starts then leave her to it. But if I didn't have time to spend with them when they start, I would do it the way you propose.)

Hi Burned
No, no a torrid time recruiting the new one. Sorry I can see now how my message was unclear.

The girl we are liekly to hire has already spoken to our AP. She's helped a bit with providing insight to the candidates as yours has.

TBH I was planning to take time off in August but I guess I'm just thinking it might take longer than that. Also, seeing the area from the eyes of a young person who has lived here and knows the ropes in a slighlty different way might be useful? Or overkill? I don't know. I can't see how, unless they didn't get along for some reason, it would be a mistake but am curious to hear others' views.

andagain, you're spot on, yes about needing them to hit the ground running.

The routine would be much the same.

And I guess I am thinking in case she gets here and really doesn't like what she sees/we aren't reight for each other I will know...

before we've always had the nanny as back up.

I think it's a good plan. I'd definitely do it.

I'd do it as an extended trial/settling in but be aware things may still change over the summer/she may not like you and you could end up at square one...

The points you make re routine, getting to know the area, meeting local au pairs/families with au pairs (as they may change too) are all valid though.