What happens with nanny during mat leave for #2?

[Amberbop]

I am expecting my 2nd child and trying to work out how things will operate with our (live out) nanny during my maternity leave. Immediately after the baby arrives I will definitely need the extra help, but after a couple of months I'm not sure if it will be weird having her around. What are other people's experiences with this? I plan to be off for the full year, so potentially an awkward 9 months! (I am also conscious that DD really plays up when there is a parent & nanny in the house.) There is also the financial consideration - I only get paid for 4 months and after that the nanny's salary will be a bit of a stretch (but managable). Do I end a contract with a really good nanny and hire a new one when I return to work? Would be grateful for your thoughts!

I was wondering exactly this this other day - not sure why, as there's no way we can afford a nanny, but it just occurred to me that it must get complicated, so I'll be intrigued to see the responses! Sorry not to be able to help...

How long are you planning to have off? Are you definitely planning to go back to work to the same sort of job (hours, pay) which would mean her role was exactly the same albeit with two children?

There are plenty of people who keep theirs on - I can see how it might be weird and it's not something I would personally seek to do but lots of people seem to think it works fine. I have to say that most of the people I know who have done this, though, have school aged children who are doing a fair bit of running around as well as the baby.

If you decide you really don't want it, the thing is it may not be as uncomplicated as just giving her notice...you may have to make her redundant, there has to be a certain gap between letting her go and hiring someone else...financially paying for redundancy and (if you use an agency) to hiring another person only a couple of months later may mean it's barely worth it financially. Plus the time and effort recruiting a new person.

So - lots of factors to consider.

Thanks LadyHarriet. I hadn't even considered the possibility of redundancy! I shall have to go back and read our contract. I am definitely planning on being off for a year, but not sure about going back to work full time. Part time wasn't an option with #1, but will be now, so that would affect the nanny's hours. So tricky!

If her job is not there as you are at home I suppose she is probably redundant. Take legal advice.

I took 2 weeks off for the babies so our nanny just carried on and then I went back full time almost right away with all the children so it was never an issue.

If you take a year off you might want to spend half the day with the baby and the nanny has the toddler or the nanny does more cooking and shopping and cleaning in that time or takes the toddler out or you may want apart from breastfeeds to put your feet up or work from home. When I had the twins I was back at work in a couple of days from home and our nanny would get me when they needed feeding and then I'd hand them back. That worked well but I was working. Even if I had not been working though we could have just kept away from each other if she had them and I wanted a bit of peace. Plenty of non working wives of wealthy men have full time nannies and the mother then has a lot of time to do what she likes.

I have always carried on as normal when Mb has their 2nd or even 3rd

When have 3 - more then likely eldest is at nursery or school so def handy to keep nanny on if you can afford it

Having 2nd child and then mb being on ml and paying a nanny can be a stretch for some families - if you can afford it then worth keeping on a good nanny to help you esp in the first few Manic weeks - and to be there for your eldest child

To lose their nanny and mummy having less time for them while a new baby in the house is hard for the child

Sorry not trying to make you feel bad

Having the nanny about also means you can spend one to one time with each child as well we her having both if you are tired

If you can't afford it then some employers pay a retainer for the nanny to come back 6/9mths later

Though many nannies I know wouldn't do this as hard to find a job to fit in with the mums ml so obviously sometimes it falls into place

Basically you need to weigh up the costs of paying a nanny while you dont get paid to losing a good nanny compared to finding a new one plus the financial costs to yourself

Some of my mb's have taken 6mths off but most go back to their job 3/4mths after baby is born and all have said its wonderful having me around to help out and keep older child/rens routine as normal as possible

In my last two jobs they had another child while I was there.

In job 1, the mum didn't work anyway, so everything carried on as normal really.

In my current job, the mum does work and took 9 months ML. Again we carried on more or less as normal. I did the same job that I'd been doing looking after the older three and mum focussed on the baby, took time to see friends, do jobs around the house that she'd been meaning to do, but hadn't got round to. She took a more active interest in the older kids school, going to meetings etc that she hadn't been able to do before. I was dreading it, but it actually worked very well. There was an odd occasion where it was a bit annoying having her around and I'm sure there were times I got on her nerves, but overall a very postivie experience for everyone.

Thanks all. I can definitely see the benefits to keeping her, but I am also thinking of sending DD to nursery a couple of days a week when she turns 3 (just before #2 arrives) so there will be even less of a role for her, and more expense! I will keep pondering, but thanks again for your replies. I have an early scan this week, and if it turns out to be twins I'm never letting her go!

I have recently been through this. We already had 3 school age children so I really didn't need my (excellent) nanny for the year I was on maternity leave.

We gave her 6 months notice and made her redundant, ensuring we complied with all legal requirements. She has since found another job where she is happy & I'll start the childcare hunt again shortly.

I'm not sure whether this applies nationally but here it does seem supply of childcare is greater than demand at the moment so I'm not envisaging any problems finding the right person at the moment.

I've kept mine - currently on leave with DC2. Definitely a luxury, but gives you time to recover a bit from the birth, if you can manage to keep her on. Things I really appreciate, compared with the days when she doesn't work -

• Time to have nice hot shower and get ready properly, while she minds both DCs downstairs. Makes a world of difference after a rough night
• Someone to take the toddler out twice a day, maintain routine, lots of exercise - a Godsend, especially in the early days
• A bit of adult company. Yes, it's sometimes a bit awkward, but on balance I like having another adult in the house
• Would have to find another nanny when I go back, anyway, so not worth hassle of redudancy payment + agency fees etc, plus really value bond with DD1 and know I can trust her with new baby

I'm a nanny. Baby#3 has just arrived and I'm working as normal (just mornings) so I take the toddlers out so Mum can get some peace, also an extra pair of hands to get dishes done, help with lunch, etc. Would your nanny consider a cut in hours, ie. just mornings or just afternoons? You'd then have time to yourself but all the benefits of nanny at half the cost?

Put together a nanny-share arrangement with another mother in the same boat?

You could also "lend" your nanny to friends or other women she knows. There is a lot of demand for nannies over the summer holidays, for example, when older children are at home all day.

I'm on mat leave no.2 at the moment, with our nanny staying on. It's definitely been awkward us both being at home, and I'm pretty sure she feels like I'm in her way a lot of the time. She also claims that DS1's behaviour is much worse when I'm around.

On the plus side DS1 has been able to keep up his routine, with play dates / toddler groups etc, which he'd have done much less of if it was just me, in the beginning anyway. And I've been able to dedicate more time to the baby than I would have otherwise.

One thing to watch out for - DS2 won't drink from a bottle, which has meant I can't really leave him with the nanny for longer than an hour or two at a time. And she can't ever take both boys out in case the baby gets hungry. Just something to be aware of - we might have been able to avoid it if we'd started him on bottles early enough, I'm not entirely sure.

In hindsight, I'd have liked to have the nanny part-time, to save on money, but also to have both boys to myself for at least some of the time - perhaps 3 days a week? We didn't broach the subject as we didn't feel it was fair for her to lose out on the income, but that would probably have been the 'right' balance for us.

And financially, we can just about manage to keep her on, but it has been more stressful than the first time round when I didn't have any outgoings apart from the odd coffee.

Sorry that was a bit stream of consciousness, but I'd say keep her on if you can easily afford it - you will really appreciate the help, but consider whether it needs to be full time or not. Good luck!

I have never had a nanny, but would have killed for one during maternity leave with DC2. A three year old and a baby is shockingly hard work.

Thanks again - lots of food for thought. If we do let her go, the 3 year old will be going to nursery for sure! A big issue is the double paying for childcare with DD at nursery (maybe 3 days) and a full time nanny, and me at home! I am assuming that a 3yo would benefit from the stimulation of a nursery environment. Maybe the toddler groups and playdates suffice? It would be perfect to cut the nanny's hours but I just can't imagine her finding a complementary job to make up her salary.

At 3 she will qualify for 15 hrs preschool funding remember.

What we did in terms of nursery was when the oldest child turned almost 3 she went to a nursery school 5 mornings a week. By then we had a 1 year old and baby and I was back at work full time so our nanny took and collected her and I didn't really feel it was a waste of money as the nanny was looking after toddler and baby and it gave the nanny a break from three children at once which everyone needs and meant the older one got used to school.

One solution to the issues on the thread is to go back to work sooner or work from home if that is possible and just have the nanny bring the baby to you for feeds. You could also express so she can take the toddler and baby out.

The more complex issue comes when the last child starts a nursery school. Even then we kept our nanny on for 2 years until they started full time school as she started around 8 and nursery was just 9 - 12 and she used the time in between to drive back here but also to tidy up etc.

My nanny went on maternity leave herself just after DS2 was born, and did not come back to work. The slight overlap just before DS2 was born was not great, to be honest. If we'd known the overlap would last for longer we might have worked harder at it I suppose.I had a mother's help in my second maternity leave, which was great - just a bit of extra help during the week.

Your child will prefer you to your nanny! I think this will make up for having to share you with some baby who has appeared. My older child was very determined that our mother's help should occupy herself with that baby while I hung out with him. It hadn't really occurred to me that this would happen.

You will both be sad to lose a nanny. But your child will get over it much more quickly than you think, especially if it means you become prime carer.

We kept our nanny but reduced her hours. Initially we told her we were letting her go but said if she found a part time job, we take the other days - which is what happened. She then came back to us when I went back to work.

It was great having her around. First few months especially when dd was not sleeping well. As she got older and I got more capable I didn't need our nanny as much so felt awkward. Then when dd got old enough I left her with nanny and had spare time on my hands before I went to work again.

TBH our nanny is wonderful and we were lucky to keep her. My youngest has really bonded well since she's known her since birth. But boy it blew a hole in our finances!!!