Sacking our nightmare aupair

[Newtothisstuff]

I know I've done loads of threads moaning about my aupair but the final straw came Sunday when we came home from visiting family after a 5 hour drive to an aupair party in my lounge, it was late, the kids were tired and it was inappropriate !
We have decided to ask her to leave. Do we have to pay for her flight home ? I would have thought we do but my husband thinks otherwise !!

Depends on what you expect her to do - how much notice are you giving her? If you want her gone immediately then you need to make sure she has a flight/somewhere to go. Or you give her a month's notice and she can look for a new family.

She's what, 18 years old? How would you like your DD to be treated alone in a foreign country at 18? Do that.

She's 26 so not a kid. I'm hardly going to throw her out.. I would have done it ages ago if I was going to do that. I'm obviously going to give her notice. I was just wondering if I should pay for her flight !

If you are giving her a month or so to find a new job, then I wouldn't pay for the flight. If you want her gone now then you should.

A month is an awfully long time to have someone in your home whom you are not happy with. Presumably she would still be looking after your children during that time? I would tell her it's not working and you need her gone immediately. Then present her with a couple of options for flights and get her to choose one. The flight will be cheaper than paying someone you can't trust for another month.

I was thinking either a week or 2 weeks with the option of a flight home, I've got to find a replacement, luckily I started looking a few weeks ago so I've got some interviews lined up, I trust her with the children, she's just so disrespectful to me, my DH and my home !!

gross misconduct

What does the contract say? If you don't have one then a week is probably enough and I wouldn't pay the flight in the circumstances. It might be gross misconduct as Branieuse suggests but that may depend on the circumstances and whether you specified anything like this as being gross misconduct in the contact and had any rules about visitors. How many people at the party and how unruly was it? If you comfortable having her in the house for the notice period it's probably easier to just give her notice and maybe give a warning at the same time laying down that nothing like this must recur during her notice period or she's out immediately.

I'd give notice, keep her on until you find a replacement and then if it's before the notice period is up pay the flight home.

You need to stick to the letter of your contract at least, so if it's 4 weeks notice you need to make sure you pay that etc.

And yes, warn her that any more unacceptable behaviour - be specific - will result in her being put straight on a plane.

Does she want to go back or prefer to look for a new family?

I guess you may not know yet.

Personally, I would prefer to draw a line under the situation by flying her home on an agreed date. If I really wanted someone to go I wouldn't want the chance they could hang about/string out their departure.

But tht's just me.

Was it a party party, or just a couple of people over for socialising? Full party/ beer cans all over kitchen with 15 people isn't acceptable. 4 people with food, glass of wine and catch up seems acceptable, remember its her house too when living there. Yes she could have asked but maybe isn't as bad as perceived

It was maybe 10 friends and loud music ! She knew we were coming home at that time too.
It's just a catalogue of things, she's rude, very very lazy and basicslly treats my house like a holiday home haha there's tonnes of threads about her, I'm not just being nasty or picky honest.
I've given her the benefit of the doubt for weeks and weeks but this was the final straw !
It's my home not a party place for all her friends !!

Fair enough that seems a bit too much