No TV?

[MummytoLO]

I don't want my 1-year old parked in front of the TV while I am at work. But when I get home a little earlier than planned, the nanny hastily switches off the TV.

At other times when I got home earlier, she was unfailingly on her computer and the baby was alone, amusing herself somewhere.

I have never "caught" the nanny playing with the baby, she only does it when she expects me to see it, it feels like she is putting on a show.

What do I do?

So what did you say to her when you "caught" her on her computer or watching TV? If nothing I think you are giving the message that this is acceptable. Surely otherwise you need to make it clear that she should not be on her computer or watching TV, at least not while the baby is awake; she should be caring for her and playing with her, or at least keeping her company whilst doing her nursery duties.

I think you need to have a discussion with her, but it doesn't sound like she's doing her job and that you don't trust her to do it.

Sounds like there's something wrong there.

We are anti-TV (only just introducing it now in very small doses.) Our nanny (who works for us 18 hours a week) has it written into her contract that there will be no screen time (TV, computers etc.) for the children during her working hours. She knew about it in advance and was happy with it.

She never leaves the youngest (nearly 2) alone, apart from if she's asleep.

I think your nanny sounds substandard, and perhaps you need to reconsider. Did you speak to her previous employers? What did they say?

I agree with bedhopper. It would be impossible for me to trust someone who was caught neglecting my baby.

'She never leaves the youngest alone, apart from if she's asleep'

• i mean if DD is asleep, obviously - not the nanny! i didn't write 'no sleeping on duty' into her contract, but I think we both take it for granted!

have you talked to her about it?? she sounds like shes just doing it for easy money tbh.

I've always had a no TV rule written in the contract too.

However, I wouldn't want my nanny playing with my child constantly - otherwise I'd have to do the same! I think its good if they can play independently to you.

Introduce a nanny diary, it may make her think more about how she structures her day and then you can mention that you don't want the TV on at the same time.

if you have not discussed tv then your nanny wont know your views

some parents are happy with a bit of tv, some programmes can be very educational, and there are kids channels - depends if nanny was watching these or say jerermy kyle

i am all for children learning to amuse theirselves, as karoleann said, its good for children to learn to play by theirselves every now and again - but they will always be within my sight/hearing

but you are not happy, so you need to have a chat with your nanny

Blondes Jeremy Kyle can be very educational too. Don't dismiss too quickly.

tis true, must admit i do watch a bit of jezza but when kids are asleep and im ironing having my lunch :)

Problem is you as much as nanny. The 'hastily switching off TV' should have happened only once and you should have given her a warning there and then (assuming of course that you have clearly stated your expectations).

Anyways, you need to have a conversation around the following

1. chilling out for 45 mins or so during your child's mid-day nap is fine, only normal for people to try to relax for part of a long day. But no TV whilst she does it.
2. at all other times if baby is awake she is to be playing with her, taking her out, etc.
3. at all other times when baby is asleep she is to be doing baby laundry, tidying baby room and preparing food for freezing. If she runs out of tasks then she is to tell you so you can arrange other stuff for her to do.
4. any deviation from the above is gross negligence.

And if she protests, dismiss her. So long as her notice period doesn't take her over the 12 months employment mark, this is fine. Give her her notice and tell her you will pay her final salary and holiday pay at end of notice period. Use notice period to get someone new in.

Whatever you do, don't do nothing. If you do i guarantee this will escalate, and as soon as she hits 12 months service she has mere protection from dismissal (you will need to go through a much longer process and she can challenge you on any subsequent dismissal)

Callthemidwife why can the nanny not watch tv while charge is asleep?

Personally I have asked my nanny not to play with my DTs all day. They need to play independently for at least some of the day. She will do some cooking or ironing while they are in the playroom (with the door open so she can see them - it is gated so no risk of getting into the kitchen and knocking over ironing board etc). And I have no issue with 5 mins of cbeebies to buy time while she wipes up after meals or changes the other twin's nappy etc, as that is exactly what I would do.

Does she take them to groups? Does she keep a diary of activities?