unreliable nanny?

[pancakesplease]

NC'd for this for obvious reasons....

Nanny housekeeper started 4 weeks ago (still in 1 month probation period) picks up my DCs from preschool/nursery brings them home does playtime, tea, bath (and bed on a night when I work late and husband away) three days a week. Been amazing until this week. She contacted me 1 hr before due to pick up DCs yesterday saying she'd had a funny do/panic attack and felt unsafe to drive or look after DCs. She was upset and said she has never had this before - she came with amazing reliable references (verbal and written) commenting on her dedication, punctuality etc etc. For the past 4 weeks she has been like a wonderful committed extra grandma and I thought she was perfect (and DCs like her) She's in late 40s sensible mum/grandma figure. She found out her husband was seeing someone else last week and this weekend she rang me to tell me she had left him and was moving in with her daughter and thus not to ring her landline if i needed to speak to her as she'd not be there. I sorted out something with a neighbour for yesterday and rang her this afternoon - she says she feels better but had another panic attack this morning and is properly freaked out that she's always been totally well and feels so scared to be out of control like this.

She is supposed to be working on Thursday and Friday. I've explained we took her on to have reliable childcare and that whilst I understand her personal life is in turmoil I need not to have to worry that my kids are waiting at school/nursery with no one to collect them. I have in laws on standby for thurs (they live 250 miles away so not ideal) and DH has some annual leave to take for friday if necessary. Her probationary period ends on Friday. I'm currently thinking if she doesn't make it in on thurs/fri I have no choice but to end her employment (contract clear this is a possibility during probation) but my inner softhearted person feels very sorry for her because I suspect finding out your husband is having an affair and having to leave your home is horrible and that being upset is inevitable. I think with my employer/mum hat on I need to be dispassionate and think simply that this is not good enough/reliable enough but I'm torn as the DCs really like her and she was making my life so easy (doing washing, cleaning, cooking and all sorts)

arrgh, sorry this is so long

Is there any way she can get signed off sick (SSP is covered) and you can get a temp while she gets her head together?

The pressure of returning to work may not be helping, and I think she's being very brave, honest and sensible to say she isn't up to it. If she's worth hanging on to then I wouldn't rule her out over this.

I think I would cut her a bit of slack but maybe extend the probationary period so you can see if this is just a temporary phase. I would have an open conversation with her and ask her whether she feels she can commit to this job given that she has a lot going on at the moment. That gives her an out if she wants it and also gives her the chance to get herself together.

Also remember that under 1 year you can give notice for the most spurious reason so even if it's not temporary you aren't tied to her for life. The notice period may be a bit longer but it's an option.

You could consider offering her a temp contract or extending the probationary period maybe?

I would extend the probation period for another month and see how it goes.

Personally I would make arrangements for the rest of this week, then call her to explain that you are giving her the week off but do need her to start again next week as you have no childcare for then. Also say that you are extending her probationary period for another month. Make sure you send this in writing too.

I think you might want to seek legal advise on whether you can extend a probationary period on the grounds of sickness?

This is very sad,but she is probably at the beginning of a very long road.

In your situation I would cut my losses and end the employment, as much as I would have every sympathy with the poor woman. You need reliable childcare. Also I would have issues with someone prone to sudden panic attacks looking after my children.

i would give benefit of the doubt and talk to her, offer her a way out,if she wants it, thought tbh she is gonna need a job to support herself and then extend probation for another month

if within that month things dont improve then give notice

when my dh died nearly 2 years ago, i went back to work after 3 weeks as needed something to occupy my mind - yes i had wobbles (tho never panic attacks and always turned up at work) but if my mb had said to me a week later you are fired, that would have prob tipped me over the edge

yes your nannies personal life is not your problem, but as you are happy with everything else then give her a chance

I agree with Nutella - sack her, why not? She's only a person, a fellow human being whose life has just been turned upside down, she probably did it on purpose to piss you off.

Did you really say that to her? Gosh I don't think that will help with someone experiencing anxiety.

I would suggest she goes to her GP and also plan in some time off. If her references are excellent and there's a reason I would be supportive in the first instance and then review.

Probationary periods mean nothing in law really other than if you put one in a contract you must follow the terms. You can dismiss at any point in the first two years so long as you don't discriminate or dismiss because she has exercised a statutory right.