Would you change CM if you were me?

[BumgrapesofWrath]

Right, I'm trying to come to a decision as to whether to change childcare arrangements for 2 year old DS. There are some things I don't feel 100% happy about and just want to gauge what people think. (There are also other reasons that I may change, but want to leave that as a separate issue)

So, what I'm not happy about is we chose her because she seemed very impressive. Outstanding OFSTED. She seemed to be very into arty and crafty stuff, which appealed as it isn't my strong area. She also seemed a bit outdoorsy, and mentioned trips to the park, and days out to different attractions in the area. She also said she paid attention to what a child's weak areas were and tried to build on them eg if they were behind at speech she would come up with an activity to bring them on more. We also wanted a CM so my DS could build a relationship, as if I can't be there I want him to be attached to someone else.

However, it doesn't seem like what we thought it would be. My son is happy there though. But everyday seems to be the same. In his daily report it just tells me what he's been playing with that day, no mention of crafts, or jigsaws, or colouring etc. Don't get me wrong, I don't want my son hot-housed, but if I was at home with him and just let him play with toys all day I'd feel I was letting him down.

They don't seem to go out, apart from on the school run, which is a long drawn out affair which means they are out of the house for almost an hour (unnecessary as the school is in the local area, think she worries about time keeping).

And, although my DS seems happy there, he doesn't seem to have a connection with her, which I'm very surprised about! My DS takes to people quite easily, but when we leave he doesn't even say bye to her. He seems to like going in the morning though.

I think a lot of this is bugging me because before I went to work I took DS to groups, took him to the park, painted with him on rainy days. I was lazy as well sometimes, but I tried to get the balance right.

So I am debating changing him to a nursery because
a) he will at least be interacting with children and doing activities
b) he won't be out on a school run stuck in a pushchair for an hour
c) he doesn't seem to have that special connection I would have liked to have in a CM so he may as well be at nursery.

Any thoughts? Am I being too precious? Is this what I should realistically expect from a CM setting?

Sorry it's a bit long!

Have you spoken to your CM about this. Has she offered craft activities that he has chosen not to join in. Does she take books or something on the school run, to make best use of the time? You need to trust your instinct to see if she is delivering everything, or if she was all talk when you first met her.

Maybe arrange a review one evening?

IMO a great cm is better than nursery.
But it doesn't sound like you've found a great cm.

Fwiw my boys have been with their cm for 5 years. When they were this age they didn't do a massive amount of 'special' activities. But she did made a big effort to rotate around the toys/activities so they were always getting the opportunity to interact with different stuff.

The feeling I've got is that she's given up. The reason I think this is she seems to have been hit hard by one of her mindees leaving, and now they've gone she can't be bothered. That is just a hunch.

I probably should arrange a meeting. For some reason, as it's one person I feel a bit awkward, but if it was a nursery I'd have no qualms - weird!

are you sure the toys are not set up in the same way as toddler group/nursery in a way to stimulate learning through play, and why kids are playing she doesnt focus on child initiated learning etc?

How long has he been going?

How many days a week does he go?

Is he speaking yet? Can he tell you what he's done that day?

If you are going to change I would look for another childminder or a nanny-share rather than a nursery. You want him to attach to one caregiver (completely right IMO) and that hasn't happened, but 'oh well he might as well go to a nursery' is a strange response, find someone he can/does bond with.

Yea I'd switch CM rather than going to nursery, which, although very structured, won't give your son the attention you want him to be getting right now. There are some really good CMs out there. I've only had one good experience out of 3, but with her my daughter loved going and they were always doing things (I.e. cooking, outings, painting, etc). Go by word of mouth only (that's where I went wrong before!!).

He should have a learning journal, you could ask to have a look through that, might give you bit more info as to what she get up to. I would also find it hard approaching one person so I know what you mean, its like a personal criticism whereas complaining about a nursery would be different. I am not doing as many outings at the moment because of the weather and we do much more when it gets a bit warmer, still we go to soft play and classes at the children centre and do lots of activities. I wouldn't be happy with what she's doing either, I would try and discuss it with her even if it feels awkward, could email maybe. I agree with what others have said and try and find another childminder rather than nursery, getting out and about is important to you, which I totally agree with then you won't feel happy with a nursery.

I wouldn't worry about him not saying goodbye to her every single one of my mindees needs a reminder to say goodbye and thank you when they leave - they are far too excited to see their grown up and to be going home!
Not that they don't enjoy it at my house though, they run in in the morning with barely a goodbye to Mum or Dad.

I haven't been out on any trips with my mindee (who I have all day 2 days a week) since the Autumn term.
As things get really busy in run up to Christmas (plays etc) and then the weather has been awful here. We've only been to network twice this year due to the snow.

His daily diary says practically the same every day - because he likes to play with the same thing. I do set up small worlds though and he plays for about 10 minutes and then back to his favourites trains or cars.

My DNephew is 2 and doesn't yet do much in the way of crafts/ drawing - even if the stuff is there to choose freely. He does however like to mark make on a chalkboard easel. If she did crafts with him I expect it might be all her work that gets sent home.

I think that you should speak to her about it. Ask for a review so that you can talk to her about his progress in the EYFS/ how well he's settled etc and ask then.

If he truly isn't happy then I would try another CM rather than a nursery.

Learning in the EYFS is supposed to be child-led - one of my mindees has no interest whatsoever in craft activities even though the stuff is often out for the others. You sound as though you're looking for quite a structured environment for your DS and that's not necessarily something that's offered by any setting before school age. Nurseries will also be child-led but your DS will get far less attention there. There also wouldn't be any trips out at all, whereas at least at the moment your DS is getting a long trip out in the fresh air every day. You say she doesn't mention the park in his daily diary, but does she have a garden? We don't go to the park much because at 2 or so my mindees are too small to play on most of the equipment but we spend a lot of time in the garden.

I also would not take your son's failure to say goodbye in the evening as a sign of anything at all. You say your son's happy - I'd leave it there.

My craft activities for the 2 year old I mind for consists of:

10 minutes or more setting the activity up
2 minutes of interest from him
10 minutes or more putting it away!

LOL

If it doesn't have wheels he is simply not interested and I do not make him do it if he doesn't want to - obviously I do encourage him but the attention span for things he doesn't like is very limited!

i'm not sure i would change, i think it depends on a number of things. do you think he's happy? is he excied to go there in the morning? does he talk about cm/her family/other children when not there?
does he bring ANY art work home? have you seen his learning journal at any point? (I am rubbish at showing my parents as I'm always behind with putting photos in etc but they do know i'm doing them...)
does she take him to groups? does she have other children there who he likes?

sorry for all the questions but i think it's good to get an overall picture. I think the problem is that you feel decieved, you wrre promised one thing and got another,which is unfair.

i think for me it would depend on how old he is. is he just 2 or nearly 3? how long do you plan on leaving him there, ie, until he starts reception or will you send him to nursery class/pre school?

she sounds a bit disinterested to me if anything. if i knew my child was happy and going out every day i would probably leave it be, but i do think you need to have a word with her as awkward as it is, rather than be quietly annoyed....

is she close to giving up? retiring? maybe she is bored (sorry if this sounds rude) BUT I think you should ask her rather than second guessing her motives iykwim.

Good Luck!!

Echoing all the above re activities and days out.
What I would suggest is to ask about his development file - we are supposed to do observations and plan for next steps. Explain you would like to see where he is up to and work with your CM to encourage his development.
Has he had his 2yr development check with the health visitor? Was he in the guidelines for that? If not speak to your CM about it and how you both can help.
At this age I would be reading a lot with the children, encouraging fine (and gross) motor skills, scissor skills, mark making etc.
Poss not days out other than soft play and play groups as well as the park - jumping in muddy puddles etc. But def childrens centres and libraries - maybe garden centres and pet shops too.
It all depends on the children that the CM has at the time.