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Au Pair Advice - Please can I have some advice from the court of Mumsnet

3 replies

dizzydo · 25/04/2006 13:32

My lovely au-pair is shortly leaving as her year is up. A friend who is very unhappy with her English family has expressed her willingness to come to us if we would like. This obviously would be great as far as I am concerned as the children know her, I know her and she has already been here about nine months so is well versed with living over here.

She will give her family appropriate notice, I will say probably six weeks if required but the only trouble is her current "family" live around the corner from us and the children attend the same school, although I do not know them.

Would it be classed as poaching or unethical for me to ask her to come to us or do you think given that she feels they dont treat her fairly that provided she gives them enough notice it is ok?

OP posts:

shimmy21 · 25/04/2006 13:44

I'd say that the problem is the au pair's and not yours if you don't know the people socially. She is the one who will see them in the playground etc. She could tell her family that she isn't happy and wants to leave and give her notice. Then in the course of the notice period she 'finds' you. Completely within her rights and you are not poaching if she states her intention to leave and then finds somewhere else. And they deserve it if they were nasty to her.


Uwila · 25/04/2006 15:20

What kind of visa ia this au pair on? How much longer is she allowed to work in the UK? Might not be worth the hassle if it is for only a few months.

There are loads of au pairs out there. I would think it isn't worth the hassle, unless you know that she is truly wonderful.


goldenoldie · 25/04/2006 18:04

Bliss - a new au-pair without all the hassle of agencies/interviews. But!!!

Worth finding out in some detail why she is unhappy with current family - she might be maoning about your family for exactly the same reasons in a couple of months time!

Has she tried talking to her current family? Do they know she is unhappy? Or does she prefer to leave rather than resolving issues. Again, she could do the same to you..........

Useful to talk to her current host family to see what sort of reference they would give her/any problems they have encountered so you know exactly what you are taking on.

Agree with Uwila - you need to find out how long she wants to stay in the UK - she might want to go back home in a couple of months so it might not be worth the hassle.

Good luck

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